5. Mali
Pictures melted on the wall. Glass shattered. Furniture discolored and unrecognizable. With each step I took, my heart ached in my chest. My nose ran slightly from the intensity of the burn smell permeating through the air.
Memorabilia destroyed.
Clothes burned.
Electronics melted.
“This was a bad idea,” I croaked out as I coughed to mask the sob inching up my throat.
Flame’s large thumb massaged my knuckles soothingly. I almost expected his hands to be rough, but they were gentle and firm. He stopped me in my tracks. “Take a moment, Mali. It’s a lot to process, but focus on a primary goal.”
Under the dim lighting, I nodded. “O-okay.”
“What’s your primary goal for tonight?” he asked gently. His light brown eyes pierced my soul. His gaze was intense but comforting at the same time.
“Find my phone. Maybe see if any of my clothes are salvageable so I can change out of this robe.” I shyly tugged at the rope to the robe I tossed on when the fire woke me up.
As I thought about it, the smoke detectors never went off, and I just had the batteries changed not too long ago.
Although the stereotypes about Black folks and their smoke detector batteries were true, my father didn’t play about my safety and routinely came to inspect my home.
I made a mental note to inform the insurance company that someone tampered with the detectors, when I submitted the formal claim.
“Let’s check your bedroom. If you’re not comfortable with me going in there, I’ll stay in the hallway.” Flame said all the right things. He was kind, considerate, and sweet.
“I’d appreciate that a lot, actually.”
We walked hand in hand up the stairs and down the hall.
My eyes remained forward to avoid looking at any more damage.
When we got to my bedroom door, I stepped inside and clutched my chest as Flame waited at the door.
It surprised me most of the furniture was still intact.
I went over to the bed and lifted my pillow.
“Found it,” I whispered as I grabbed my phone. I opened the nightstand, and my wallet and keys were also free of any damage.
“Thank you, God. You really looked out for me.” I grabbed the items before I turned on my heels and cautiously walked over to the closet. I felt foolish as hell walking through ashes in bear paw slippers, but luckily, a bin of clothes and shoes was intact.
“Flame!” I called out.
“Yeah?”
“Can you grab this bin for me? It’s kind of heavy, but it looks like the only bin in good condition to take to my parents’ house.”
“I got you. Do you want me to come in now or wait for you to change?” he quizzed.
“Honestly, I’ll wait to change until I’m at my parents’ house. I want to wash all this soot and shit off my body before I put on clean clothes.”
“Understood.” He walked into the room and found me near the closet. He effortlessly lifted the bin. “Do you need anything else?”
“No, this is all,” I replied. I glanced down at my phone screen. “My parents are actually pulling up right now. We should be able to drop this off in my dad’s trunk.”
“Got you.”
As we walked out of my house—or the remnants of what was once my home—I openly perused Flame’s body.
It must have been the trauma of the event, because I found comfort in watching his shoulder muscles move as he carried my belongings out of the rubbish.
In any other circumstance, Flame would have been my type.
He was tall, muscular, and kind. His voice was deep like velvet, but gentle like a breeze on a hot summer day.
“Mali!” At the sound of my mother’s voice, my knees grew weak. I stopped in my tracks.
“Mommy.”
The armor fell, and my tears escaped like a dam breaking at the end of a river. The tears slid down my face in swift rivets. I didn’t have to wait for her to catch me, as my knees buckled underneath me.
“I’m here, my baby. Mommy’s here.” Her voice was the last thing I’d heard.
It was the only thing I could cling to as I broke down completely.
The cry from earlier didn’t even scratch the depth of the sob I released now.
I didn’t care who heard me, who saw me, or who judged me.
My mommy was here to carry the burden until I could get my footing again.
Three days later
As I sat on the bed in the guest room of my parents’ home, I stared at the ceiling fan as I reflected on the last few days.
Life had gone by in a blur. I was numb, confused, and, most of all, exhausted.
Between the hours on the phone with insurance companies and trying to come to terms with the fact I would have to start over completely, I had nothing more to give.
I didn’t know where to start.
I didn’t know how to start.
All I knew was that the house I’d called my home since I was twenty-two years old was no longer an option. I didn’t care about the material stuff for real; it was really just the principle of the matter.
A soft knock on the door broke me out of my thoughts.
“Come in,” I croaked out, assuming it was my mom or dad.
When the door opened and Joylei walked in, a frown spread across my lips.
“Hey, pooh.” She greeted me with kind eyes and a gentle voice.
“Hey. I didn’t know you were coming by.”
“You haven’t actually been responding to calls or texts.”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “Yeah. It’s not personal. I’m just having a hard time processing everything.”
“I get it for sure, pooh. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Honestly, I can’t believe someone burned your house down.” Joylei shook her head as she joined me on the bed.
“Me either. It’s the only thing that makes sense.
I spent all yesterday on the phone with the rental insurance company.
They have officially opened up an investigation and will get back to me within the next thirty to sixty days.
I pray it doesn’t take that long, but I know they’re going to do a thorough job figuring out things. ”
“I hate you have to deal with all of this, stinkabutt.”
I chuckled. “I’ve cried so much these last couple of days .
. . I genuinely don’t think I have any tears left to fall.
I’m exhausted because I’ve been out of my parent’s house since I was nineteen.
To be back home is weird. I’m grateful, for sure, but I’m definitely looking for temporary homes until the insurance can pay out the funds for me to get a new house. ”
Joylei whistled. “Well, you know you can always come over to my place when you need a change in scenery.”
“Thank you, bestie.”
I tucked a pillow under my stomach and released a deep sigh. “I hate to dwell on things, but it was such an unexpected event. I never in a million years would have imagined being caught in a house fire. What if the firefighters didn’t get to me in time—”
“Hold on, Mali. Do not let yourself go down that path of thinking. Do not let any more what-ifs plague your mind. Think about the concrete things that happened. They saved you, put out the fire before it spread to any other homes, and you saved some of your things. You have your license, birth certificate, and social security card all intact and won’t have to deal with the horror of getting replacements.
You have air in your lungs, blood in your veins, and love in your heart.
You are alive and have a family behind you to get through his moment. ”
I smiled as she frowned at me. One thing I could appreciate from my best friend was her love and support of me. She spoke life into me when I needed it the most.
“You always know how to bring me out of a dark moment.”
“Of course. I can’t let you put too much weight on your shoulders. You are my girl, and I want you to flourish.”
“It’s just so crazy, you know? The fire chief told me during his initial inspection the fire patterns show a gas accelerant was used. It makes little sense.”
Joylei’s features softened as she reached out to hold my hand. “Now, I’m going to hold your hand when I say this . . .”
I giggled. “Uh-oh. What are you about to say?”
“Have you checked the security footage yet?”
“I’m waiting for the company to send me the files.”
She nodded. “Something in my spirit is saying Juda is involved somehow.”
My eyebrows knitted together. “Joylei, please don’t play with me right now.”
“I’m not. You texted me a couple days before the fire saying he pulled up to your job and caused a scene. You put up more cameras because you were afraid of what he could do . . . let’s not act clueless, Mali.”
My face hardened as I stood up from the bed. “I think it would be best if you leave.”
“No. You don’t get to push me away right now. I get you don’t want to believe that the man you’ve spent the last nine years with would do something like this, but he’s always been a walking red flag.”
“We’ll see what the insurance company finds when they’re done with the investigation. Until then, I will not think about Juda anymore.”
“That’s fair. I’ll drop it for now.”
“Thank you.”
I opted to sit at the vanity instead of going back to the bed. I spun around in the chair and let out a deep breath.
“Well, what do you have on your agenda today?” Joylei quizzed.
I shrugged. “Nothing, really. Probably bed rot and scroll social media and take a couple of naps.”
“Okay, so let’s change that. Do you want to go to the mall for a little retail therapy? Maybe visit the fire station and ask for a tour?”
My ears perked up at the suggestion. “Hold on . . . I don’t mind visiting the fire station. I heard they enjoy treats and stuff.”
“What do you have in mind?”
“I think I want to bake them some cookies. Wait, I could make a pan of Cajun pasta, fried chicken wings, and garlic bread.”
“Damn, you want me to help taste test?”
A genuine laugh came from deep in my gut, which made me smile. “I’ll let you taste test the meal if you join me on the grocery store trip.”
“Deal.”
Although I settled on animal grooming, cooking was my second passion. I would have opened a restaurant if Papa hadn’t invested in the grooming business. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind revamping a restaurant in the future to have a second stream of income under my belt.
“Let me freshen up and we can head out.”
I grabbed an outfit out of the closet. Then I exited the bedroom and headed toward the guest bathroom. On my way down the hall, Mama came out of the main bedroom.
“Hey, my baby.”
“Hey, Mama.”
“What are you up to?”
“I’m going to the grocery store with Joy. I’m planning to cook for the firefighters who came to the house, to show my gratitude for what they did.”
“That’s a beautiful idea, honey. I’m glad you’re getting out of the house. Would you like me to help you?”
“I’d appreciate that a lot. It’s been a minute since we cooked together.”
Mama and Granny Adrienne were the ones who influenced my love for cooking. Sunday night dinners were when we’d congregate in the kitchen, everybody with a task to help complete the meal. My task was always greasing pans or mixing cornbread. Simple tasks that made a big difference.
When Granny passed, Sunday dinners fizzled out. I always had a goal to revamp Sunday dinners for the family, but with Juda always in an unpredictable mood, I never wanted to chance it.
She smiled. “You’re right. Let me do something to this hair of mine real quick.”
“Take your time. I’m about to take a quick shower and get myself ready.”
“Perfect. I’ll meet you downstairs.”
She gave me a playful wink before heading back into her room. For the first time since the fire, I was excited to get out of the house and enjoy some fresh air.
Lord, let this be a step in the right direction.