45. Sienna
forty-five
Sienna
It’s been a week since Thanksgiving, and everything between Jace and I has been perfect…Dare I say, too perfect? We’ve been in our own little bubble, thinking that we’re safe in the world, but I have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that shit is about to hit the fan.
Jace snuggles into my stomach, his face in my belly with his arms wrapped around my back as we sit on the couch, watching a movie.
It’s early in the morning and SFU plays Brighton today. However, since the Winter Showcase is tomorrow, I have to spend the entirety of today practicing with Daisy to fix things up.
“Don’t worry…We’ll kick their asses, angel,” he mumbles, sleepily drawing circles in my back as I play with his hair.
He’s been super exhausted lately working on art pieces and practicing with the hockey team. It’s been so hectic between us that we haven’t even had time to keep knocking items off of my list.
“I don’t know, Heart…Something just feels off.” I frown, eyes trained on the screen as he pops his head up.
Jace studies me for a moment before a devilish smirk dances across his lips. “You know a good way to relieve stress and burn calories?”
“Yoga?” I tease, watching him as he jumps off the couch before he hauls me over his shoulder.
“Jace!”
He smacks my ass. “I’ll be sure to bend you like a pretzel, angel.”
That uneasy feeling doesn’t dissipate after Jace and I have sex, it heightens . He had to leave shortly after we finished, which was fine seeing as I needed to head out, too. Only I’m not going to the studio first. No, first I’m heading to the pharmacy.
Sienna, you are just anxious about your recital…That’s all. It has nothing to do with your late period.
I sound fucking dumb even in my own head.
A late period could mean a lot of things, and maybe I’m just a few days late since sex throws off your hormones, but this feeling of unease gnawing at my gut won’t go away unless I do something about it.
Denver calls me on video chat as soon as I pull up to the pharmacy. She’s smiling brightly wearing an SFU Men’s Hockey jersey with a margarita glass raised in the air, but when she sees my face, her smile falters and she exits the room heading outside.
“What happened?” she questions almost instantly, closing the balcony door behind her as I put in my headphones.
“I’m getting a pregnancy test.”
Denver’s brows crease as she puts the phone closer to her face. “But you’re a vir—Oh my God, get the test right now. How late are you?”
This is the part that I know she’ll look at me funny.
“Two days…”
I know that she doesn’t mean for it to happen, but she snorts quickly before masking her humor.
“If getting a pregnancy test will make you feel better, then get it. However, buying a test when you’re not a full week late may not do anything because your period could always come tomorrow.” Her lips deepen in a frown, as I mimic her facial expression.
“I’ll tell you what…I’ll sit on the phone with you while you take it, and if it’s positive, we’ll have a beautiful Sienna look-alike running around. If it’s not, cheers to the freakin’ weekend,” She cheers, taking a sip from her margarita.
I laugh at my friend and continue through the store to the aisle where all of the tests are.
“Which one do I get?” I ask, whispering as she shrugs.
“I’ve never had a scare before, get the cheapest one with quick results…” Denver grimaces, downing the last of her drink as I scan the aisle of pink, white, and blue boxes.
If the Sienna of two years ago could see me now, she’d have an aneurysm.
Heaving a deep breath, I pick up three identical tests, them all guaranteeing an early result, and head to checkout.
“I don’t know, girl, I highly doubt you're pregnant…I mean, do you use protection?” Denver’s voice echoes loudly as I approach the register.
The cashier, an older woman with short, grey curls, purses her lips as I slide the three tests to her. My cheeks and neck feel warm as she eyes me from head to toe, her eyes lingering on my black coils for a little too long.
“$21.72,” the woman blandly announces just as I tap my card awkwardly on the screen. “Good luck.” I hear her words trailing after me as I race to the bathroom in the back of the pharmacy.
“What if it’s positive, Den? I can’t raise a baby…I’ve barely just started having sex—I haven’t even used a vibrator yet! Oh my gosh…I don’t even have my own place! Let alone a degree. What am I going to—”
My rant is cut off by Denver’s soft sigh. She’s been the more levelheaded friend out of the four of us, always seeing all sides of the coin before making a rash decision or freaking out.
“We’ll worry about all of those things when the time comes. As of right now, you just need to worry about taking the test and whether or not it’s positive,” she answers, her voice resolute .
I gulp, looking at myself in the cracked mirror of the pharmacy bathroom and sigh.
It’s okay. You got this, Sienna.
Denver and I wait for three agonizingly long minutes. My skin is hot to the touch as anxiety gnaws at my throat and ears.
Never in my life would I have thought that I would end up in this type of predicament. I mean surely if I am pregnant, then maybe it won’t be so bad. I’ll have Jace by my side and we’d have miniature geniuses on our—
“Time's up!” Denver’s voice snaps me out of my stupor and immediately my shoulders slacken.
“Oh, thank heavens…”
Negative .
I’m not pregnant.
That’s good, right? Me, not being pregnant right now.
I mean I have my entire life to have a family.
I wouldn’t want to bring a kid into the world while I’m still learning it myself.
I’m young. Besides, Jace and I aren’t ready.
We’ve barely been together for three months, but, why do I still feel like there’s everything's about to go wrong?