Chapter Twelve #3
“Ryan, he’s trying to play it cool. He doesn’t want you to know how much he misses you.” Doris shook her head. “Men can be so damn difficult.”
“Yeah, and we’re hard to understand.”
Doris laughed. “That just shows they don’t know everything. Look, Ryan, I’m fine with you going to Clifton. You’ll have to take vacation days. I can’t just let you have time off.”
“That’s fine. I called for a flight last night and I fly out Wednesday. If you had said no, I could have canceled.” Ryan wrung her hands together in her lap. “I’m so scared to see him.”
“I can tell. I’ve never seen you like this before.
I’ve seen you upset over a breakup, but this is just consuming you and you need to find out what’s between you and if you can both live with it.
I just have a feeling that if you leave, you won’t come back.
I’d hate to lose you, but you need to be where you’re happy and that’s in Clifton with Seth. ”
Ryan stood. “Thank you.”
“You keep me posted.”
“I will.” She walked around the desk and hugged Doris when she stood up, then Ryan made her way back to her desk.
She was terrified to see Seth, but she had to take this chance. He meant that much to her to try. She would do what she had to; to let him know she wasn’t leaving him again.
****
Seth took a sip of his coffee as he entered the barn, the bitter taste mixing with the bitterness in his heart. Could he really have made a mistake in letting her go? Was she truly the one who would really stay?
Seth closed his eyes, trying to push away the doubts that plagued his mind.
The memories of her laughter, her touch, her smile, they all flooded back to him like a tidal wave of longing and sorrow.
He had thought he was doing the right thing by making her go, for her sake and his, but now he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had lost the best part of himself in the process.
With a heavy sigh that carried the weight of Wednesday morning, Seth set his steaming coffee cup down on a bench and walked to the stall to get the chestnut filly.
Her copper coat gleamed even in the dim barn light, muscles rippling beneath as she tossed her silky mane in anticipation.
Those intelligent eyes watched his every move, knowing what was coming.
Seth could already picture her in the competition ring, hooves pounding the dirt, nostrils flaring, every movement precise as a surgeon’s knife.
When the announcer’s voice would boom his name across the loudspeakers, he’d feel that familiar surge of pride watching months of dawn-to-dusk training sessions pay off.
His waiting list stretched longer than the fence line of his north pasture.
The old-timers, those who’d trusted him with their prized stock for years, knew the drill.
Some horses took to cutting like they were born doing it; others fought the training like stubborn children. You couldn’t rush perfection.
Just as he led the filly into the arena, a jagged bolt of lightning split the charcoal sky, followed immediately by thunder that rattled the ancient barn rafters and sent dust spiraling down from the beams.
“Great. Rain,” Seth muttered, tasting the metallic hint of an approaching storm.
But as he looked at the horse, her ears remained pricked forward, steady as oak. Not even a flinch. With a slight smile tugging at his face, he clicked his tongue and got to work.
Later, after the rain finally stopped, Seth and his men stood inside the barn working on a tractor, the crunch of gravel under tires made them all freeze. Seth glanced at his watch.
“That can’t be a client. I don’t have any scheduled today.” He sighed; the sound lost beneath the distant chirp of meadowlarks. “I’ll see who it is,” Seth said as he picked up a grease-stained rag to wipe his hands, then tossed it to Spurs, who caught it with oil-blackened fingers.
He removed his Stetson from a wooden peg, settled it on his head, and walked toward the wide-open double doors.
The scent of hay and motor oil gave way to fresh air as he stepped into the blinding Montana sunshine and came to a complete stop.
The silver SUV gleamed like a mirage, and when the door swung open, Ryan slid out, her black hair catching the afternoon light.
Seth glanced over his shoulder to see all the men had followed him, their boots scuffing the floor, their faces a mix of curiosity and hope as they stared at her. Seth shrugged and shook his head, confusion tightening his jaw.
Taking a deep breath that filled his lungs with the scent of dust, he folded his arms across his chest, the cotton of his T-shirt pulling tight, and widened his stance, boot heels digging into the sunbaked earth.
When she looked at him, her blue eyes meeting his, his heart went into overdrive, pounding against his ribs like a wild horse.
God, he loved her so much it ached in his bones.
She closed the door with a soft thud, walked around the front of the SUV, her delicate fingers trailing along the warm metal, and he bit his lip to keep from grinning when he noticed she wore the same red skirt with the white blouse she had on the first time they met.
He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she looked at him, the light breeze tugging at loose strands of her hair.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Harrison,” she said, her voice honey-sweet but with a tremor that betrayed her nerves. Seth could hear the fear behind her words, and he knew she was terrified he’d tell her to go, send her back down that dusty road alone.
Seth touched the worn brim of his hat, feeling the texture beneath his fingertips. “Ms. Carroll. What are you doing here?”
Ryan glanced around, her gaze sweeping over the sprawling ranch with its distant grazing cattle, and when she spotted the men, a smile lit up her sun-kissed face as she waved at them.
Seth looked over his shoulder to see Spurs, Red, Ringo, Micky, and Buck waving back, their weathered faces breaking into grins, until they noticed him looking at them and they dropped their hands like scolded schoolboys.
Cull leaned against the open barn door, his shadow stretching long across the ground, but he didn’t wave or even smile, his blue eyes intense, and Seth wondered what was wrong, then he looked back at Ryan.
“I’m here—” She stopped when Seth turned away from her.
“Wait,” he said as his boots kicked up little puffs of dust as he walked to where Cull stood.
“What’s wrong?” Seth asked, his voice was low and rough as sandpaper.
“What’s wrong? You’re what’s wrong.” Cull’s voice was quiet but sharp as a knife.
“I’m not welcoming her back until you do.
She’s obviously here because she loves you, and if you can’t see that, you, my friend, are blind when it comes to that woman.
Don’t let her go again, Seth. I’ve known you for a long time, stop being a fool.
” Cull pushed off from the door, nodded for the men to follow him, then disappeared into the darkness of the barn, leaving Seth alone with his thoughts and the woman he couldn’t forget. He turned to face her.
As she stood there, he could see the tears in her eyes, so he walked closer to her.
“Maybe we should go inside since it’s so hot,” he said.
“Okay.”
Seth nodded for her to go up the steps while he followed her. She stopped at the door, and he reached around her to open it, then she stepped inside. He could smell her perfume, and it was driving him insane.
Once inside, Seth removed his hat, hung it on the peg, then turned to face her. She stared at him, then walked to the living room. Seth sighed and followed her. She stood in the center of the room, and he could see a tear rolling down her cheek and it broke him.
“Ryan?”
She faced him. “Yes?”
“Why are you here?”
“I’m here because you are.”
Seth’s heart skipped a beat faster, but he couldn’t form words to save his life, so he continued to watch her as she walked around the room, running her hand over the back of the sofa, then stopped to look at him.
“Seth, I’m not going anywhere. I’ve been away from you for weeks and I still can’t stop crying over you.
I have never loved any man the way I love you.
Now, you can stand there and tell me to go and I will, but I will not go back to California.
I will stay in Montana until you realize I’m here for you. ”
He walked to her, stopped beside her, touched her hair, and when she looked at him, he pulled her into his arms. Her arms wrapped around his waist, and he placed his cheek on top of her head. He could feel her body shaking as sobs tore from her throat.
“Baby, stop. You’re breaking my heart.” Seth cupped her face in his hands and stared into her eyes. “I never want to be the reason you shed a tear, Ryan. I love you. I’ve been miserable without you.”
“I’ve been the same.”
He stopped her by kissing her lips, then he slowly lifted his lips. “Stay.”
She stared into his eyes, and he knew she wanted him to be sure.
“Stay with me. Please.”
“I would have stayed the last time. You are so hardheaded.”
“I am. You’ll have to get used to that.”
“I will.”
“I have missed you so much, sweetheart.”
“But you didn’t even call me or text.”
“I did text you.”
“You call that a text? It sounded like a business deal.”
Seth sighed. “I had to do that because I didn’t want to ignore you, but I didn’t want you to know how much I missed you.”
“Do you know how much I missed you?” Ryan asked and he shook his head.
Seth watched her set her purse on the end table, open it and remove what looked like a picture frame. She stared at it, ran the tip of her finger over it, then turned it toward him.
He took it from her and looked at the photo, and his heart hit his stomach.
It was of him standing in the field with rows of small plants surrounding him. His head was tilted down to watch where he was stepping. He turned to face her.
“What is this?”
“It’s you.”