Chapter 24 – Beck
BECK
Dad comes out of his apartment and shuffles down the stairs slow.
Signs of both his age and years of addiction are showing, but I try to shrug it off.
He’s got his fishing gear in one hand and a small cooler in the other.
My shoulders stiffen, the anxiety swirling over what he’s got in that cooler.
Even though, by now, I know it’s not booze—tell that to my nerves.
He swings open the back passenger door of my truck and sets the small cooler inside. “Hey, son. How’s it going?”
“Morning. Whatcha got there?” I grunt, gesturing my chin at the cooler.
“Water. Gatorade. Electrolytes?” he says the last thing in question.
The intense strain across my shoulders eases. “Good thinking.”
He rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything. This rebuilding trust and a relationship between us is still new. After decades of damage, it’s not going to happen overnight. We both know that.
“Help me with the fish cooler, will ya? It’s sitting just inside the bar. Already filled it with ice.” He tosses his fishing gear in the bed, and I hop out and meet him at the bar’s entrance.
After he unlocks the door, I follow him inside.
The Thirsty Turtle looks different when it’s dark and not filled with people.
Dad gave it a new name when he took over ownership—still not sure where he got the name, but it sounds like one of those name generator outcomes—yet he left the ’70s lighting and original brown wood paneling on the walls.
We each grab an end of the cooler and take it out to my truck, shoving it in the bed along with our fishing gear.
After I climb back inside and Dad hops in, I offer him a coffee. “Grabbed your favorite.”
“Oooo nice, thanks, kid.” He accepts the paper cup and takes a sip, a wide smile spreading underneath his thick, graying mustache. “Did you tell Jenny hello from me?”
“Sure did.” I snicker.
“Good, that’s good, kid.”
“She even threw in an extra shot of espresso for free.” I back out of The Thirsty Turtle’s parking lot after he’s buckled. “You ask her out yet?”
“Shoot. Cut your ol’ dad some slack. You don’t just ask a girl out like that all willy-nilly. It takes time. It takes work. Not like you kids these days.”
I chuckle. “I feel you on the taking work. Sadly, that still hasn’t changed in the dating world for people my age either.”
“Yeah?”
I don’t glance his way because I don’t need to. I already know what expression I’ll find on his face. Hopeful.
“Sorry, still not dating anyone.” I take a sip of my coffee, the bitterness mixed with the sweet vanilla an explosion of deliciousness on my tongue.
“What happened to that one gal? You know, the cougar?”
I choke on my coffee. “She wasn’t that old, Dad.” I swallow. “And she was fine. But I guess, yeah, the age thing was a problem. For her, not me,” I clarify.
“Aw, that’s okay, son. The right one will come along.”
The right one did come along, I wanna say. She came along and I snagged her. I had her. But then I lost her. And even though she’s walked back into my life, it feels like she’s slipping through my fingers again.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he says, and now I do glance his way. “If you and Rosie are meant to be, you’ll find a way back to each other.”
I chew on my lip.
“You never mentioned it, and I didn’t have the heart to ask…Did she make it to town for Dottie’s memorial?”
I swallow the rising lump in my throat. “She did.”
“How did it go?”
“Actually, she’s still here.”
“Really? Is she planning on sticking around?”
“For about a week.”
Dad blows out a whistle. “A week, huh? Sounds like…a chance,” he says at the same time I say, “like trouble.”
I groan out a pft and mutter, “whatever.”
Dad’s quiet for a moment next to me and I’ve almost reached the marina. This feels like as good a time as any to tell him about Charlie. “Dad?”
“Mhmm?”
“That’s kind of why I asked if you wanted to come fishing today. I’ve got some…news.”
“Oh? So there was an ulterior motive? Not just a casual father/son fishing trip?”
I park my truck in the first open spot at the marina, worried if I waste any more time, I won’t be able to spit out what I need to tell him. I ram the shifter into park so fast we both fling forward before rearing backward. Dad’s head ricochets off the headrest.
“Whoa, what’s going on? You okay? You’re scaring me.” He rubs at the back of his head.
I turn to look at him, clenching my teeth and trying to ignore the other fishermen likely beating us to the best spots.
“Are you in some kind of trouble?”
I shake my head and exhale a wobbly breath. “Rosie didn’t return to Golden Harbor alone.”
A sullen expression overtakes his face and his lips droop. “Oh, son. I’m so sorry. She brought a boyfriend with her?”
I scratch at the scruff on my chin. “No, not exactly.”
His graying brows draw together. “No?”
“She brought a kid with her…My kid.”
“I don’t understand.” He rubs at his forehead.
“Rosie was pregnant when she left Golden Harbor seven years ago.”
“Woah, and you didn’t know?” he asks, tilting his chin.
I shake my head, choosing not to go into the details with him now.
“So are you trying to tell me she had a baby? Your baby?” He points at me.
“Yeah. That’s exactly what I’m trying to tell you.
” A smile grows on my face. “She’s six. Her name is Charlotte.
Well, Charlie for short, she actually hates Charlotte.
” I chuckle thinking about how the first time I met her and how she corrected me.
“I’m trying to tell you…you have a granddaughter, Dad. ”
Emotion stirs in my gut as his eyes glisten. “Wow. Well, this is something.”
“Yeah, you can say that again.”
“How are you handling all this?”
I adjust my hat on my head. “Better now. It was a shock at first.”
“Well, yeah of course.”
“But I’ve been spending a lot of time with her. She’s a good kid. Real cute too. She looks like me. She’s a Stone for sure.” I tug my phone free from my front pocket. “Let me show you a picture.”
He takes it and swipes through my album. “Yep, definitely a Stone. What a sweetie. Looks a lot like your mom.”
A rock drops in my stomach. This was a response I wasn’t expecting.
“Really?”
“Are you kidding? That smile? That’s your mom’s.”
I take my phone back from him and stare at a smiling Charlie. “I thought her smile was Rosie’s.”
Dad shakes his head. “I don’t know what that kid got of Rosie’s side, but it sure can’t be much. Her red hair, that’s about it.”
I continue staring at the photo, my heart aching and expanding at once.
“Let me guess. Now you’re stuck having to make a decision. Stay in Golden Harbor and be a part time father or go to Seattle to be with them?”
I push my thumb and finger into my eyes. “I wish it was that easy. She’s engaged.”
“Ahh. That does make things more complicated.”
“Ha.” I bark out a sarcastic laugh. Complicated doesn’t even explain half of it. He doesn’t know that Rosie and I are still married. Which adds another layer of complicated to this mess.
Dad and I sit out on his little boat for half the day. We catch nothing more than kelp. We drink his Gatorade and eat the protein bars I packed. But the sun is too high and fishing this late in the day while it’s this warm is pointless.
“We better call it,” I announce.
He’s got his pole cast and is watching and waiting expectantly. “C’mon, you gotta have patience.”
“Fine,” I groan. “A little longer. But the last ferry leaves at five and I need to be on it. I was hoping to see Charlie tonight.”
“That’s always been your problem. So impatient.”
I glare at him from across the boat, the muscles in my shoulders going taut. What does he know about me? He was drunk my entire childhood and into my adulthood. But my therapy sessions with Dr. Sam have taught me that I can’t continually bring up what I’ve already forgiven him for.
“Not impatient, Dad. Just anxious is all.”
“That, too. Why are you always so anxious?”
I raise my brows and blink at him. “You’re kidding, right?”
“You can’t blame me for that too. For your anxiety. You going to therapy for the trauma I caused from being an alcoholic makes sense, but the other stuff, how’s it my fault?”
“Maybe the two go hand in hand,” I spit out.
“Fine.” He holds up his palms in surrender, and the boat rocks. “I’ve apologized, you’ve apologized. We don’t need to do this again.”
“At least we’re in agreement there.”
“But, son, at some point, you gotta start taking responsibility. You gotta stop blaming everyone else and start being an active participant in your own life.”
Anger sears my skin from the inside out. “I don’t want to do this with you. Not here, not now.”
“Why? Because you know it’s true?”
“No,” I snap. “Because…because…”
And well, shit, he might just be right.
“You’ve missed out on six years of knowing your daughter. Do you really want to miss out on six more?”
“Of course not.”
“Then I think that’s your answer. Rosie or no Rosie, if she’s not staying in Golden Harbor, you gotta go to Seattle. Learn from my mistakes. Don’t repeat them. Go be a father for your girl. If you don’t, you’re gonna regret it.”
My phone buzzes in my pocket. I tug it free and hold my breath when Rosie’s name shows up on the screen.
Rosie
Are you still on the island? Can you meet me?