Chapter 30 – Beck
BECK
We take our time. Even though we need to catch the ferry soon. But we shut out the world and it’s just me and Rosie. No one else.
She slips her hands inside my shirt, skidding her palms across my abs and chest and making me quiver beneath her touch.
As she kneads her fingertips into my skin, it heats the more she touches me.
My mouth can’t get enough of hers, sliding, nipping, tasting.
It’s all familiar but at the same time, different and new.
With her in my lap, her auburn hair hangs down to frame her face and I can’t stop from staring. She’s beautiful. I want the visual of her, just like this, to be seared into my memory forever.
Rosie takes a hold of the hem of my T-shirt and slowly tugs it up my sides, her fingers teasing my ribs and making me chuckle.
I lean forward so it’s easier for her to slide the fabric up my back and tear my mouth from hers while she tugs it over my head.
Her eyes drag across my bare chest, and she draws her lower lip in between her teeth.
A smile pulls at my lips. No doubt she likes what she sees.
“Your turn,” I say softly but with a hint of a growl. My greedy hormones are desperate to get my own look at her.
A hint of pink color swirls into her cheeks and it makes her more alluring. That and the fact she’s still embarrassed over this even though I’ve seen her naked a thousand times.
I take the hem of her shirt and slide it up slowly, giving myself time to adjust to seeing her bare skin a little at a time.
I do not need to go into a spiral over this and ruin the moment by having a panic attack.
Or worse—come in my pants. That would be embarrassing.
Like I’m a teenager. But that’s how she makes me feel.
Young. Wild. Reckless.
The shirt reaches her chest, and I tug it up and over her rounded breasts. I gaze at her, studying every square inch, before I at last pull it all the way over her head and toss it on the floor.
“You’re beautiful,” I declare on a breath.
“Are you kidding? You’re beautiful. How long have you been hiding that six-pack? I don’t remember this from seven years ago.”
I release a light laugh and give a sheepish shrug. “Just more defined, I guess.”
“This is more than just defined. You looked good before, but you’re gorgeous.”
“It’s just work. And a few nights at the gym. What’s your excuse?” I gesture at her body.
She dips her chin, almost as if just now noticing she’s missing her shirt. “Uh…seriously? I’m nothing special. I’ve got scars from surgeries and stretch marks. And I’m bigger than I used to be.”
“Yeah, you are.”
She whips her head up, horror in her eyes when they meet mine.
I hurry to clarify. “These curves are sexy. And where’d those tits come from?”
Tucking her hair behind her ear, she mutters, “Maybe from breastfeeding? Or because I’ve put on a few pounds.”
“You’re beautiful. I didn’t think it would be possible for you to look more beautiful than you did before. But you’re fucking perfect now.”
She rolls her lips and makes a tsk sound, setting a palm to her stomach where there’s a few surgery scars and a trail of stretch marks from pregnancy.
My gut wrenches with the thought of missing this part of her life.
And I can’t hide my disappointment. I won’t hide it.
Not from her. “I wish I could’ve seen you. Pregnant. I bet you glowed.”
I lean forward and press my lips to her scarred stomach. Dropping a few kisses there, I work my way up to the center of her chest. Her fingers find my hair and dig into my scalp, needy. And now I’m aching to see her fully bare.
“Take off your bra. I need to see you. All of you,” I demand, gathering her hair and pulling it over to one of her shoulders.
She only hesitates briefly, a bit of shyness creeping into her demeanor, but her eyes find mine and there’s a fire there. Reaching around her back, she unhooks her bra, and I grip my hands around her waist. The lacy piece of fabric falls, and she slips her arms free, tossing it to the side.
Delicate and full breasts are mere inches from my view, and I soak it all in. The beauty of her has a choke hold on me. I’m in a trance, and I can’t look away. I suck my lower lip in between my teeth, biting back a groan. She’s somehow the same but so much more. Confident. Sexier.
My desire for her strains against the front of my pants and I tug her hips down so she can feel it. Her eyes go round and her lips pout and damn I can’t help myself; I drag her front over my length. She moans approvingly as I continue grinding her against me.
“You’ve got me so hard over here. Better be careful, honey, or you’re gonna have me making a mess in my pants.” I dive my face in between her tits and spread kisses over her silky skin.
She exhales a giggle as she throws her head back. “This is familiar.”
“Yeah?” I mumble as I glide my lips up the sleek column of her neck, her skin so hot and tempting.
“Yeah. Don’t you remember all the dry humping we did when we were teenagers?”
I draw back, a rueful smile pulling at my lips. “Remember? That was the highlight of high school for me.”
She snorts, dragging her hand down my bare chest and evoking a tremble. Her fingers dance further until they reach my sweatpants, where she teases me by tiptoeing her fingers along the waistband. I’m tempted to get things moving faster and yanking off the pants, but I also want to take my time.
“I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you.”
“Me too.” I nip at her lower lip with my teeth.
She tethers her fingers through my hair at the back of my neck. “There wasn’t a day in our seven years apart that I didn’t think about you,” she admits on a whisper.
My heart squeezes at the release of her words and I draw my head back, tightening my grip on her. “Don’t,” I grit out. “Don’t say things you don’t mean. Not now.”
“I mean it. I missed you…every single day.”
It’s cruel for her to admit to this now.
When I have her in my arms and writhing on top of me, ready for me.
I dig my fingers into the soft skin of her hips.
“Honey, you’ve got terrible timing.” I chuckle as parts of me I’ve suppressed for too long suddenly unlock.
“You left a crater-sized hole in my soul.”
Remorse shines in her green eyes as she peers down at me and my gut aches. I don’t want her to feel bad. Not anymore. “Beck, I—”
“I more than missed you. I missed you like you were the oxygen I needed to survive. Shit, without you, I didn’t know how to manage my anxiety.
And I lied to you…I did start therapy,” I confess, tracing my thumbs over her hip bones and earning a shiver.
“I had to learn deep-breathing exercises. I still go see Dr. Sam once a month. She keeps my BS in check.”
“So I should thank her?” Rosie gives me a teasing smile.
“Now no more of this talk. We deserve this. We deserve a chance to fill the craters we both left in each other. We deserve happiness. Now…” I pause and haul her in closer. “Show me how much you missed your husband.”
I return my mouth to hers. Her tongue is needy to find mine as it parts my lips. I skim my palms up her sides and she trembles when I run them over her ribs and breasts, so full in my hands.
When she finally slips her hand beneath my briefs and finds my length, her touch is gentle. It’s cool, timid, and has me practically quivering. My restraint is astounding; I should win an award.
“You’re driving me wild,” I mumble, my thumb brushing across her nipple. “I need your shorts off. Now.”
I lift her and set her onto the sofa so together we can work at tugging the shorts off. She wriggles her hips, and I yank them down her thighs. My brain goes a bit haywire when I discover she isn’t wearing any panties.
My mouth waters. “You’ve gotta be kidding me. Are you telling me you’ve been commando this whole time?”
“They were wet.” Her little shrug is cute but there’s nothing innocent about her in this moment.
My brain short circuits at her words. “I’ll be they were.
Let’s see if you’re wet now.” Bracing one hand on the back of the sofa next to her head, I bend and use my other hand to spread open her legs.
The sight of her glistening pussy has me captivated.
I drag a finger through her center and she trembles at my touch.
“You’re soaked for me,” I pant, sliding one finger inside of her and earning an adorable moan.
A little massaging always helped me enter her with more ease and it made me feral for her too.
I add another finger, curling until I reach the spot that has her bucking against my hand.
I slide my fingers out and lean over her, pressing a greedy kiss to her mouth.
I gaze down at her again, admiring how beautiful she looks like this; bare and exposed.
“It’s unfair you’ve been just over here looking like this, and I’ve been missing out all these years.”
“I’m here now. And it’s all yours,” she says, her eyes flaring.
Damn. I’m practically foaming at the mouth.
I shimmy out of my pants and underwear, kicking them into a pile.
After I’ve resituated bare ass on the sofa, I grip her waist. “Come here,” I demand, guiding her back into my lap.
As soon as her front touches my cock, her wetness coats me and her body melts into mine.
Her fingers are back to tousling my hair.
My eyes flicker closed momentarily as I squeeze her hips and lift her before driving her back down again.
The intensity of everything explodes and splinters throughout my body. It’s too much but at the same time—not enough. I need all of her touching me. “I want to take my time with you, but I can’t wait another second to be inside you.”
“Good, because I’m about to finish just like this.”
“No. I need you to wait.” I lift her and nudge my chin. “Is this okay?”
“Yes.” The word comes out with a little hiss of breath as she bobs her head approvingly.
“I want you to guide me in so I don’t hurt you.”