Chapter 31 – Rosie
ROSIE
On the ferry, dressed in yesterday’s clean clothes, I settle my elbows on the metal railing while Beck stands behind me.
He grips the rails with both hands, his arms enveloping me on either side while I lean against the firm plane of his body.
He rests his chin on top of my head while a continued breeze sweeps through my hair.
The warmth from his body shields me from the chill in the air. It guards me from the reality that waits for us when we step off this ferry. Here, in the comfort of his embrace, I’m safe.
I close my eyes and breathe in a mixture of Irish Spring from his dad’s soap and a hint of his cedar and bergamot cologne that must be lingering from the day before.
A rueful smile tugs at my lips, and I settle my head against his chest. There’s a lingering pulse of pain between my thighs.
Instead of dwelling on the discomfort of it, it’s a reminder of my mind-blowing orgasms.
After we made love on the sofa, Beck led me into the bathroom where he sat me on the ledge of the tub, got down his knees, and pleasured me further.
He licked, sucked, and devoured my pussy possessively.
Then he turned on the water and we showered together where he washed me with tenderness.
It was like a dream. One I don’t want to wake up from.
We don’t talk on the ferry. Maybe we’re both afraid that if we do, this perfect moment will disintegrate. It’s too precious. Too delicate.
We stay like this until the ferry docks and most of the passengers have gone below to their vehicles.
But we take advantage of every single second.
Beck takes my chin in his hand, turning my face until I can peer up at him.
He licks his lips as his eyes draw me in and holds my gaze. Heat surges through my body.
He’s gorgeous, just like this. Vulnerable and confident. There’s a spark in his chestnut eyes that hasn’t been visible until today. Or maybe I hadn’t noticed it until now.
“I could stare at you all day and it still wouldn’t be enough,” he growls.
Warmth fills my legs, and I curl my toes. If I don’t steady myself, I’m afraid I will launch myself into his arms and wrap my legs around his waist, and never let go. That’s what Beck makes me feel when I’m with him. Crazed and reckless.
“This face. This mouth. You’re flawless.” He smiles and cups my chin, coercing my lips to his as he bends.
Our mouths crash together. The kiss is needy and passionate. It’s the kind of kiss that I don’t want to ever end.
I grasp the collar of his flannel in my grip and tug him closer to me, desperate to have him nearer. Like his very presence is air for my lungs. My heart races and a thrill rushes between my thighs. I find myself frantically attempting to hold on to this feeling.
When Beck draws back, I inhale a trembling breath. He grins down at me and there’s a satisfied gleam in his brown eyes. Like provoking my surrender is his reward. He reluctantly releases me and wraps an arm around my shoulder, guiding me across the upper deck.
“What do you say after we get back to Golden Harbor and you pick up Charlie, you come to my place and I cook breakfast?”
“Your place, huh? I was wondering if I’d ever get to see the mysterious place you’re living now.”
For years, I’ve imagined him living in a messy bachelor pad.
Only because I don’t think my heart could handle him living in a nice, clean place with a new woman in his life.
But I’ve mostly been grateful that he was forced to move out of our little place we lived in by the beach when a developer bought it and tore it down and built new million-dollar condos.
He shrugs against me. “I don’t know about mysterious, but it’s on the opposite side of the busy part of town, a block from the beach, and it’s always stocked with the ingredients to make pancakes.” An adorable smile forms on his lips.
“So, you cook breakfast now?” I snicker. This is new too. There had been plenty of times when he cooked for Milo. But it was less cooking and more being creative and preparing whatever they had in their kitchen, which sometimes wasn’t much.
“I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by how much my skills have improved.”
“Are you kidding, I’m already impressed by how much your skills have improved.” I smirk up at him and he flashes me a boyish grin.
“In the kitchen, I meant,” he mumbles, pressing a kiss to my temple as we walk. “You know if I’m any better at sex it’s not from practice, that’s for damn sure. Maybe it’s because I’ve gone so long without it. Without you.”
I clutch at his hand and stop him. He glances down at me, and I search his face for hurt but it’s not visible in his expression. Instead, there’s hope and appreciation.
“I’ve missed you like crazy,” he admits, tenderness in his tone.
“I’ve missed you too,” I confess. “I’ve missed…this.” I draw up to him for one more slow kiss. It’s laced with passion but not lust. Like we are marking this moment as it is—significant.
Pulling back, I exhale a light sigh and release my grip on him, and he groans loudly. I can’t help but smile.
“C’mon.” I tug his hand. “Cars. Charlie. Then home and breakfast.” The words Charlie and home in the same sentence when speaking with Beck fills my heart with a yearning of family. A real family with him. Something I didn’t think would ever be possible.
As we’re about to take the steps down to the lower level, my gaze lands on the small parking lot near the dock. I recognize the figure standing there; arms crossed and a bewildered expression smeared on his face. My feet halt and I drop Beck’s hand.
It’s West. Here. In Golden Harbor. At the ferry dock.
“Hey, you okay?” Beck asks, ready to take the first step down below.
I sink my teeth into my bottom lip, barely able to look at him. I hesitantly glance up at him and shake my head before gesturing at West with my chin.
It takes a moment for Beck to skim the crowd before his eyes land on him. He instantly goes rigid. “West?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know he was coming,” I whisper.
Beck’s jaw ticks. “I thought you guys were over?”
“We were. We are. It’s complicated,” I stammer.
“It’s not that complicated. You’re either with him or you’re not.”
I reach for his hand but he flinches and my chest spasms. “Beck—” His name cracks as it rushes out. “I’m sorry. We’re not. But…”
“But what?”
“I have to think about Charlie too.”
“No, you’re not using Charlie as an excuse this time. Because if you did, you’d know she would want us to be together. You’re doing this for you.”
Glancing between him and West, I say, “I just need some time.”
“You had time. You had seven fucking years.”
“Beck, please.”
“I love you, Rosie. But I’m not gonna be your consolation prize.”
“You’re not. Never. Besides Charlie, you’re my favorite person,” I declare, desperation in each pulse of my heartbeat.
“I don’t like sharing my wife,” he growls.
The way he says my wife causes a welcomed burn to radiate between my thighs. I touch his arm, and this time he allows it. “I love you.”
“Prove it.”
“What?”
He crosses his arms. “Choose me. Choose us.”
“I am choosing you. And us… Just let me figure this out.”
Sadness overtakes his expression, and he readjusts his hat on his head. “I can’t do this again with you. I won’t watch you leave again. I’m done.”
“Beck, wait,” I call out, grasping his flannel, before he can hurry down the narrow metal steps. I glance over my shoulder at the dock again, and it’s now I see the small figure in the backset of West’s car. Charlie. I suck in a breath.
Beck looks and sees her too. “What the hell is she doing with him?” he grits out between clenched teeth.
My head swims. “I…I don’t know. She was with Stella.” I tug my phone from my back pocket but I still don’t have cell service.
He jogs down the steps, and I hurry after him. He spins around, expression stoney. “She’s my daughter. Not his. He’s got no legal rights to her.”
“I know.” I nod, my mind distracted while I try to process how Charlie ended up with West.
“Take care of this. Or I will.”
Tears burn my eyes. I watch him turn and walk away, my heart shattering in my chest. Once he’s out of eyeshot, I rush to Dottie’s car and hop in. I rummage in my purse for lip gloss and perfume. Peering at my reflection in the visor mirror, I comb my fingers through my windswept hair.
Nothing is going to make me look presentable enough to break a man’s heart, but here goes nothing. I drive off the ferry and onto the dock, pulling into an open spot in the lot next to where West is leaning against the side of a black sedan.
Just as I slide out of the driver’s seat, Beck’s Chevy passes by and he doesn’t make eye contact with me. It’s probably best.
West flashes me a smile, but it’s guarded. “There’s my girl,” he greets me as I round the front of the car.
“Weston, what are you doing here?”
When he reaches me, he leans in for a kiss, but I turn my cheek to him. There’s a moment of trepidation before he follows through with it.
West straightens, and I notice now the purplish hue and swollen skin underneath his eyes. I’ve never seen him look so tired or ragged. He sets his hand on my shoulder and gives it a light squeeze. “I missed you. And Charlotte.”
I force a tight smile. “You didn’t even call first.”
“I wanted to surprise you.”
Mission accomplished.
“You should’ve called,” I say flatly, peering at Charlie through the window. “And how’d you know where to find me?”
He points at Charlie in the backseat where she’s distracted by something playing on a screen mounted into the headrest. “Charlie told me.”
“And how’d you find Charlie?”
“I had to do some digging.” His gaze shifts to the ground.
Anger sears my skin. I’m not upset with Stella. I’m very aware of how convincing West can be.
“Was that him? Charlotte’s father?” He nudges his chin in the direction of the road.
“Yeah, that was Beck.”
He purses his lips. “And he…went to the island to spread Dottie’s ashes with you?”
He’s fishing for information and I don’t blame him. Seeing Beck and me together couldn’t have been easy.
“Actually, no. I went alone. Beck was on the island fishing with his dad, and I ran into him.” This is only a partial lie.
When he slides his hand down to my elbow, I cross my arms.
“You still haven’t said what you’re doing here.”
“We need to talk. I don’t like how we ended things.”
“We could’ve done it over the phone.”
“I thought it would be best in person.” He shoves his hands inside his pockets. “Plus, you’ve told me so much about Golden Harbor, I thought you’d be excited to show me around.” He nudges his chin. “C’mon, get in. I’ve only got two days and I’m sure there’s lots to see.”
“You took two days off of work?”
“Technically…yes. I’ve got a video conference tomorrow and some emails to send. But other than that, I’m all yours.”
“I can’t remember the last time you took off work.” But I do. The memory assaults me like a shot of endorphins. He took an entire day off work and we went to Long Beach. Guilt presses down on me and pinches in my gut.
“Anything for you,” he responds with a genuine smile. It’s the kind of smile that used to melt my heart. Still does to a degree.
West is not intentionally a selfish guy. His work is intense and demanding, but he doesn’t have healthy boundaries. It’s been the root of our arguments over the last year.
“Why now?” I blurt out, not really sure I want the answer. Because will it change anything?
He frowns. “I nearly lost you,” he pleads, taking my hand. “I know that now. And it’s something I can’t afford. Now c’mon, let’s go.” He tugs me, and I reluctantly glide with him until my brain catches up.
“Wait, my car,” I protest, my feet halting.
“We’ll get it later.”
“How about Charlie and I drive my car and we meet you at Dottie’s.”
“Nah, I’d rather you came with me now.” His jaw ticks. “C’mon, we’ll get it later.” With a hand pressed to my low back, he ushers me to the passenger side.
I climb in reluctantly but put on a brave face for Charlie. Spinning in my seat, I smile wide. “Hi, Charlie girl. I missed you.”
“Hi, Mama!”
I pat her leg. “How was Stella’s? Did you have fun?”
“Yes! It was so much fun! I taught Max how to braid. Miss Stella found her old Barbies for us.”
“Wow. That does sound like fun.” I face the windshield again as West slides behind the wheel.
“Mama?”
“Yes, baby?” I glance over my shoulder as I wipe the wetness from my eyes.
“What’s wrong?” She’s twirling one of her long braids around her finger.
Pressing my lips together, I exhale a sigh. She’s not a baby. But shielding her from as much shrapnel during her childhood is my goal as a mom. “Nothing. I’m just tired.” I shoot a glare at West.
“Guess what, Mama? West got me a new stuffie!” She holds up a gray stuffed dolphin I vaguely see from the corner of my eye.
“I took her to that bookshop in town.”
The car rumbles as it reverses backward and my mind races. “When?”
“After I picked her up from your friend, Stella’s. We needed to kill some time since she told me it would be a few hours before the ferry docked.”
“She has plenty of stuffies. And you don’t have to compete with Beck, if that’s what you’re doing. He’s her father.”
“Yeah? And I’m going to be her stepfather. And the one who will be taking care of her when all this goes to shit and you girls are back home with me.”
I glare at him, my gut twisting. “I don’t think you’ve listened to anything I’ve said. Not now, and not back in Seattle.”
My phone buzzes repeatedly in my back pocket as it finally comes to life again. I hurry and tug it free while my chest flutters. All of this is my fault. I didn’t tell Stella that I broke things off with West. If I had, she never would’ve let Charlie go with him.
Stella
Take your time. I’m making crepes for breakfast. Charlie says she’s never had them
Call me as soon as you have service again
Hello??
West is here! In Golden Harbor! He just picked up Charlie. He said he wants to surprise you at the dock. Please tell me you didn’t spend the night with Beck on the island!
I reply to her so she doesn’t worry.
I’m off the ferry. West just picked me up
Hannah
Just bought a one-way ticket! Coming to see you next week bestie!
Beck
I signed the papers
We’re done. You’re no longer my wife