Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
“Honey, I’m home,” Sky announced, dropping his bags and trudging right into Kayla’s arms.
She was wearing a soft pink, silk pajama set, stirring a pot of ramen at their tiny stove. She turned the burner off as soon as he let himself in. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming home today? I would’ve met you at the station.” she asked as they headed for the sofa.
“The last few days have been crazy and I wasn’t even sure if I’d actually get on the train and stay on it all the way to the city.”
“What the heck happened?” She led him to his spot and wrapped his weighted blanket around his shoulders.
Sky fell back onto the sofa and let the blanket and the familiarity of his surroundings calm his nerves. He did his best to think still, soothing thoughts.
“The last time we talked you said you all had made up and that your ‘uncle’ was your nephew’s father.”
“It got so much worse after that,” Sky groaned.
“There was no way I was getting into it over the phone. I would’ve had a meltdown and I still might.
” He put a pillow on his lap for her feet and gave it a pat.
“You would have so many questions, and I would hate myself even more because I don’t want to answer them.
It’s all so sordid and…so very Sutton of me. ”
“It couldn’t be worse than when your dad died. Remember that? You got drunk and made out with your brother-in-law.” She sat at the other end of the sofa and swung her feet onto his lap. “Or when you made out with him at your Uncle Lance’s funeral.”
Sky laughed weakly as he began to knead. “What if I spent the last two weeks getting forked by him?” he asked, squeezing an eye shut as her jaw stretched wider and wider.
“Noooooo!”
He nodded, cringing at her feet and avoiding her eyes. “It turns out that Sarina and Mason were never a real thing. He’s super gay and fucks like a pornstar.”
“What?” Kayla sat up and grabbed the back of the sofa. “It’s a for real lavender marriage?”
“Text book, and Sarina knew we were doing it. She thinks it’s sweet.” Sky widened his eyes so she knew that it was seriously fucked-up. She had never been to Roseview or met any of the relevant players. But she knew about them from Sky’s stories.
“Holy shit!” she whispered, earning a heavy hum from Sky.
“Sarina had a one-night stand with Lance when Dad was in the hospital, but she’s actually in love with Lexie Walston, who’s married to Bill, who runs the hardware store.”
“Uncle Lance and Lexie Walston?” she confirmed and clutched invisible pearls. “Consider me scandalized.”
“That’s not all. Lexie’s husband, Bill, knows and doesn’t care because he’s in love with fly fishing.”
“What in the Days of Our Whites is going on up in Roseview?” Kayla asked in a dramatic whisper.
“I have no idea. Why do you think I’ve stayed away?”
She bit back a snorting giggle. “Apparently, the mayor is dropping dick bombs, and the lesbians are getting down in the hardware store.”
“That does sound funny, but sadly, it’s true.”
“What are you going to do? Are you going to go back to see him?”
“No way. I told him he’s only allowed to call me if it’s about my sister or Sam or if it’s an emergency.”
Kayla frowned as she pulled her long locs over her shoulder and twirled one around her finger. “Are you sure that’s what you want? It seems like there’s a lot there.”
“There is a lot. And there’s nothing,” Sky said sadly.
“I love Mason. I always have and I don’t think I’ll ever not love him.
It’s the same with him, too. I know he loves me and he wants me, but there’s nothing we can do about it.
He has a life in Roseview, and it’s just about perfect.
I don’t fit into that, and I won’t do anything to hurt Sina and Sam. ”
“I get it…” Kayla said slowly but her face scrunched with disapproval. “But it’s bullshit. He should do the right thing and leave your sister, or she should do the right thing and leave him.”
“They love each other and they have Sam. They don’t have sex, but the rest of their marriage is…perfect. He’s exactly the kind of man I’d want for her and Sam.”
“Except he’s in love with you.”
Sky nodded slowly, allowing the statement to sink and settle.
He knew without a doubt that Mason loved him.
And their fling had fully confirmed that Sky was made to love Mason and they were better than perfect together.
Words like “right” and “bliss” weren’t adequate to describe what Sky felt and he knew he’d never feel anything close to that again.
“It isn’t just about him and Sarina. Mason also loves being mayor, it’s the only job he’s ever wanted, and everyone loves him because he’s great at it. Being with me could cost him everything, and everyone in town would definitely hate me for ruining another marriage.”
“Ew. I forgot about that and that you have a big mansion on the beach you might want to return to at some point… Maybe take me with you next time?” she suggested with a lift of her brows.
Sky’s mouth opened and closed as he wondered if he should have asked her to come with him before. Should he apologize? He assumed she wouldn’t want to. He never did. “You want to go to Roseview? After everything I’ve told you?”
“To the Hamptons? I’m not afraid of some snooty white people and I want to see if this Mason is as sexy as I’m imagining.”
“You’ve never seen Mason?” Sky took out his phone and tapped on the photos icon. “I could have sworn I’ve shown you pictures of him.” He found one of Mason holding Sam up by the ankle like a prize fish and handed her the phone.
“You wouldn’t even acknowledge that he existed before.
I only ever get to see pictures of Sam and Nadine when you come home.
” She glanced at the screen and did a double take.
“No wonder you’re down bad. He looks like this and he puts you through the mattresses…
” She enlarged the photo and mouthed a Damn! before handing back the phone.
“I can’t be down bad. He’s married to my sister. You can come to Roseview with me next time. Maybe you can stop me from having sex with him.”
She laughed and nodded. “I’ll do my best, but I might have to use my own body as a shield.”
He stared at her, baffled by why she would do that.
“You don’t even like men. Too bad Sina’s married and already has a mistress.
I might have taken you home a long time ago, if I’d known she was queer.
” He flipped to a picture of Sarina in her blue work scrubs and gave the phone back to Kayla.
“I really like this picture. She was about to leave for the office and she looks like she loves her work, right?”
Kayla nodded in agreement. “Hello, Dr. Cartwright! No wonder Sam is so adorable.”
“He looks a lot like me and Mom, but he has Sina’s eyes and nose and he’s smart like her.”
“It’s a good thing he doesn’t look more like his father,” she said with a wince. “How do you feel now that you know? You and Uncle Lance were close, and you thought that Mason had cheated on her for all those years.”
“That was so much for me to process. It took about twenty-four hours to really sink in. But I understand why she didn’t want me to know and why she was scared of anyone finding out.
We both called him “Uncle” Lance, but she wasn’t as close to him as I was.
She didn’t need him like I did. We were both in such an awful place when Dad died.
I probably would have gone catatonic if she had told me then. ”
“Like when that dog licked your face on the train and I couldn’t get you to move so we rode all the way to Queens.”
He shuddered as he recalled the unexpected sweep of a hot, drooling tongue across his lips and nose and the horror of what he had witnessed just moments before.
“It was eating a diaper, Kayla,” he said, his voice cracking as he went back to that train and that fateful evening.
They were coming home from a work party that Sky didn’t even want to go to when a small dog of indeterminate breed got loose, excited by the smell of a freshly-filled diaper.
Some barbarian had left it under a seat and the dog had ripped it open like it was a chopped cheese.
The dog’s owner used one of her handy plastic bags to gather up the shredded diaper but didn’t have proper control of the dog. It jumped onto the seat next to Sky and jammed its snout in his face and slapped him with its fetid tongue.
“I’m going to be sick again.” Sky had eventually gotten off the train and heaved into a trash can on the platform.
“No, you’re not,” Kayla used a magazine to fan his face. “You survived, and the doctor said you didn’t catch anything from the dog or the diaper.”
“It took me six months to get on the train again. I had to take cabs and Ubers and you know how much I hate being in vehicles with strangers. Especially if they play music and try to talk to me. I can’t listen to music and talk at the same time.”
He had trouble filtering out background sounds and his focus was always drawn to screens and almost anything with flashing lights and numbers.
His senses got overloaded, and he would zero in on just one stimulus, usually the flashing thing.
If Kayla or another friend wasn’t with him, Sky kept his maps app open and watched the blue dot and followed the step-by-step directions until he arrived at his destination.
Being aloof and looking intimidating kept most people out of his personal space and his business.
Unfortunately, that didn’t work on dogs who liked rancid diapers.
“Who leaves a fucking diaper on the train?” Sky muttered in renewed disgust. “Whoever they are, I hope life shits all over them.”
“Agreed. I’m really proud of you for talking through that with your therapist and giving the train another chance.”
“I really like riding the train. It’s relaxing, when everyone is cool and there aren’t any dirty diapers. I don’t mind dogs, either, as long as I only have to touch them on the head and they don’t lick me or jump on me.”
“That’s pretty reasonable,” Kayla said. “What’s the plan, then, now that you’re back and he’s not allowed to contact you?”
Sky took a deep breath and let it out, grounding himself in the present and his surroundings.
“I have to put everything with Mason and Uncle Lance behind me. This mess with Mason made me realize that I want a happy life and a decent man of my own. I might even deserve them? I’ll never find out or find him if I don’t let go of Mason. ”
“Okay! That sounds far less destructive than the way you usually handle a breakup. How can I help?”
“I need to get back to work and give myself some time to heal. Don’t worry if I don’t come out of my room for a month or only leave to go to the gym.
But you must promise me that you will chain me to the radiator if you even suspect that I’ve looked at Grindr or I bring home another trash bag.
I cannot be trusted, so I will only be dating men who meet with your approval. ”
She cheered and threw her hands up. “Thank you, Gay Jesus! You have no idea how long I have been waiting to hear this.”