22. Santino #2
I rub my temples, my entire life shifting in a matter of minutes. The news about Camilla and Luca changes nothing and everything all at once. My entire world has crumbled yet has stayed the same. All I can do is move forward even if knowing Luca was only here to be the middleman for Bianchi.
“No, he wouldn’t do that.” I want to convince myself he wouldn’t do that to me, but I’m wondering if I truly know Luca.
“Sir, may I say something?”
Lorenzo’s voice snaps me out of my stupor. I continue to rub my temples, the ache growing with every pound in my head.
“Sure. Why not. Everyone else has said what they wanted to say.”
“I do not think Luca is bad. I think he is lost and feels torn.”
“I have killed men for less, Lorenzo. He betrayed us. He flipped his loyalty to Bianchi. What would you have me do?”
“Maybe try to see him as the boy you’ve raised. See him as your son who is clearly struggling with his own identity. He probably has no idea where he belongs.”
I shake my head in disagreement. “I don’t know, Lorenzo. I don’t know.”
He pats my shoulder on his way out. “I think there’s something more going on here with him.” He taps his head. “He has amazing days and then days where he is a stranger. Perhaps, there’s something else going on.”
“Maybe that’s not on me. Maybe that’s on Bianchi.”
“You don’t mean that,” Lorenzo says. “You’re hurt and that is understandable. I’m going to go. I will text you when the mission is complete.”
“Thanks, Lorenzo.”
He gives my shoulder a reassuring squeeze before he leaves. Their footsteps retreat towards the weapons room, and now, I’m alone.
Blood drips onto the counter and raise my hand to my lip, having no clue it was split open. I dab it with a paper towel and wipe the blood from the counter.
I feel wrung out like someone squeezed every ounce of give a damn I had left in me. Now, I’m drained.
My phone buzzes and I’m tempted to ignore it. I don’t have the mental capacity to deal with anything else today.
But then I remember Jovie could be calling and she’s the only one I want to hear from.
Taking out my phone, I’m already experiencing relief and happiness when I see her name across the screen.
“Hey, Sweet Girl,” I answer.
“What’s wrong? And don’t lie to me. I hear it in your voice, baby. What happened? Is it Bianchi?”
She’s walking outside. I can hear the static of the wind against the microphone.
“What are you doing? Are you walking around without me? Unprotected?”
“Marlowe is with me.”
I relent a little because Marlowe can be intimidating at first glance. “I’ll allow it.”
She snickers. “As if you could stop me. We are going to lunch down the street and then I have massive orders I have to make. Marlowe is going to help me since she’s closed the café today. One of the cats got sick and it spread to the other cats. It’s a mess.”
“Messes seem to be very popular today,” I grumble, wishing I had something other than coffee to drink.
“What happened, Santino? Talk to me.”
“I told Luca about us. About the baby.” I leave out the part where I also said I was going to marry her. I want that to be a surprise. “Well, he overheard me telling Omar, who was very supportive, but Luca wasn’t. He rightfully punched me in the face.”
“You aren’t telling me everything. A punch in the face wouldn’t make you sound so sad. You love violence.”
I chuckle, tossing the bloody paper towel in the trash. “You don’t want to hear it.”
“I do. Talk to me.” More rustling sounds. “A table for two please,” Marlowe’s voice chimes in. They must be at the restaurant. “I’ll meet you back there, Marlowe. Give me a few minutes,” Jovie says to her best friend.
“Sure. I’ll order your favorite drink,” Marlowe replies.
“Okay, I’m outside. Alone. What’s going on?”
I sigh and lean my elbows on the counter. “Luca told me Andrea had an affair with Bianchi. Luca isn’t mine. That’s why Bianchi has always been on my back and trying to claim my territory. Luca is the first born. Luca was the one who started turning my runners against me. For Bianchi.”
“Oh my God, Santino. I’m so sorry.”
I know she means it. The shock, sadness, and honesty can’t be hidden with Jovie. She’s so genuine.
“Do you believe him?”
I nod, forgetting she can’t see me. “I do. I remember when it could have happened. She wasn’t the same for a few days. Like she had something to hide, but I ignored it thinking it was all in my head.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to be angry at her. You loved her very much and this is something you can’t talk about with her now. Santino, it’s okay to be pissed off about this.”
“I don’t know if I’m angry. It’s been too long since she has died for there to be anger but I am hurt. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling about this. Talking to me about my deceased wife can’t be easy.”
“It isn’t hard. It doesn’t bother me at all, Santino. She was a part of your life. The mother of your children. You didn’t divorce her. She died. She died when you loved her more than anything else. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you. What are you going to do about Luca?”
I scoff. “I don’t know, but I did wage war on Bianchi today. This ends now. I’m done with him.”
“There he is,” she says through an audible smile. “There’s the guy I know.”
“You aren’t bothered that I am about to kill a man to make my point?”
“I wouldn’t be in love with you if you weren’t that kind of man.”
I check my watch, remembering I have a shipment being delivered to the docks that I need to be there for since Luca is currently… somewhere. Omar is probably working the streets now and checking in with the runners.
I hope he’s asking if Luca has approached them. The thought of my son being a mole his entire life has my stomach turning. At the end of the day, he’s mine. I’ve raised him. Bianchi didn’t and that’s makes me more of a father than he will ever be.
“I’m sorry,” Jovie whispers through the quiet that has fallen between us.
“For what, Sweet Girl?”
“For being the reason you have issues with your son. I didn’t think he cared about me at all or why he feels so strongly about getting me back when we haven’t talked at all. He isn’t making sense to me.”
“Me either, but I’ll figure it out. How’s my baby doing today? Are they making you sick?”
“No! Thankfully. Today is a good day. I’m starving. And I have a lot of energy.”
“Mmm,” I growl. “Well, maybe you can take me for ride later to let out all of that energy.”
“Maybe I will.” Her flirtatious tone is sultry and immediately has my cock filling.
“Enjoy your lunch. I have a meeting I have to get to. I love you. Tell me when you get to the shop, so I know you’re safe.”
“You worry too much.”
“I don’t worry enough,” I correct her. Once she’s at the shop, I’m able to see her through the security cameras I had installed—with her consent of course.
“I love you too. Of course, I’ll let you know.”
“I love you both,” I add, needing her to know that my love doesn’t just go to her, but to our child too.
“We love you too,” she says softly.
I hang up, gripping the phone in my hand. Before I crush another phone, I set it on the counter and bury my face in my hands.
My heart is heavier than I thought, and I don’t know how I’ll be able to walk around with it in my chest.