30. Peyton
PEYTON
The bath was Leo’s idea. He didn’t ask. He just started the water while Viktor knelt to take off my shoes. I didn’t even know whose room I was in.
They’d promised they wouldn’t go into my room without permission, and they held that promise even now.
I had so much to say but no ability to say it. Horrors filled my head, along with questions.
Once Viktor finished with my socks and shoes, he lifted my dress over my head.
Misha was there the instant Viktor stepped back, and even though my soul ached with the truth of who he was, my heart longed for him as he cupped my face between his rough hands.
“You’re safe.” His voice broke. “You’re here. You are safe.”
He said it like I needed the double reassurance. It was the first time he’d spoken to me since we left the warehouse. I wanted to reassure him that I was fine.
But then I’d be lying.
I nodded instead, speech still outside my realm of abilities. My hands wouldn’t stop shaking.
Viktor held them between both of his, squeezing my fingers as I trembled.
I focused on that, on the way they took care of me, instead of what had happened in the parking garage.
Instead of the sight of Anton Pravchenko’s cold satisfaction or Elena’s dead, lifeless eyes.
Leo turned off the faucet. “Come on. It’s ready.”
They helped me into the bath like I might break at any second.
I might. I felt fragile.
My bones felt weak, my stomach hollow. I swallowed hard, but it didn’t stop the lump from reforming in my throat or the sheen of tears blurring my vision.
I sank into the water, the temperature so perfect I couldn’t hold back the sigh.
Viktor sat on the edge of the tub.
Misha leaned against the wall with his arms crossed and his head turned slightly to the side.
If I allowed myself to think about that, I’d wonder if he couldn’t bear to look at me.
Leo took his time adjusting the robe on the hook and handing Viktor a bottle of my favorite shampoo.
“Leo.” My voice cracked, and all three men locked onto me. I’d been betrayed by everyone I thought I knew here in New York. The devastation of realizing Elena had only pretended to be my friend caused the bone-deep hurt to flare.
I fought against it and focused on the one thing I could learn for certain. Elena had broken me, but it had still shattered my heart to see her gunned down so ruthlessly.
“What is it, Peyton?” He lowered to his haunches next to the tub, concern tightening his eyes.
I picked up a rag from beside Viktor and dunked it into the water. My thoughts tumbled, and every part of me wanted to curl into a ball and cry until it stopped hurting.
But it wouldn’t stop until I knew the truth. “I have questions.”
“We’ll answer them as soon as you’re done.” Leo brushed his thumbs over my cheeks. “We’re here, Peyton.”
I tried to meet Misha’s eyes, but he kept his head down.
I washed my body, then shampooed and conditioned my hair, washing away the smell of Anton’s grimy warehouse.
When I finished and stood, Viktor dried me off and then Leo wrapped me in a thick, soft robe.
They led the way out of the bathroom and into a dimly lit bedroom.
Misha’s room. I knew by the smell and the lack of decor. He liked leather couches and bare walls, and he smelled like bergamot and oranges. Same as this room.
“Are you Bratva?” I sat on the edge of a chair beneath a wide window that overlooked a garden.
Leo, Viktor, and Misha sat on the edge of the bed in front of me. “Yes.” Leo answered for all of them.
“How…” My voice failed, and I took a second. “How long, and how did it happen?”
Leo did not look away from me as he answered. “My entire life. I was raised to take over for my father.”
Misha rasped his knuckle over his cheek.
“They took me when I was ten. After another mob killed my mother. She was the only good thing I had in the whole world. When I lost her, I lost everything.” He finally lifted his head, and the sight of death in his eyes rattled me to my core.
“Until you, I had nothing but the brotherhood.”
“I was seven.” Viktor locked his hands together between his knees. “This is our world, Peyton. It is the thing we have always known. It is who we are.”
“How could you have downplayed the danger so drastically that I thought it was nothing? How could you keep this from me?” My breaths shortened, the lack of oxygen sending me forward to put my head between my knees.
Bodies shifted, but I held out a hand to stop them from moving toward me.
A tortured groan sounded from Misha, but it was Leo who answered.
Leo because he was the one in charge. “The business you work for, along with several others, is legitimate. We do not let those two worlds cross. The brotherhood forces us to make oaths never to mix the two. Since you work for our legitimate business, you were never supposed to know the rest.”
Viktor leaned past Leo. “But then we worried you were spying on us. There was too much circumstantial evidence that pointed to you leaking information to our enemies. We know now that it was Elena, but at the time, it made sense to bring you here. To protect you as we figured out the truth.”
A shocked gasp stole what little breath I had. “You thought I was spying on you?” I remembered the way they’d asked me about Anton, and it all sent waves of panic through my body.
“We never dreamed Anton would come for you.” Misha’s voice was dry and emotionless. “We kept the relationship completely hidden to protect you.”
I didn’t understand what had happened to make him act this cold and uncaring.
He stared past me, and I took a minute to think about something other than myself.
Misha had been forced into this life. They all had, but it seemed to me that Misha had lost more than the others.
There was a darkness in him that he tried so hard to stuff away. I’d seen it tonight. I’d seen it and I had flinched.
That was when he stopped looking at me.
I stood, took two steps, and sat in Misha’s lap.
I gave him no choice but to hold me or let me fall on the floor.
His arms went around my waist, and I wrapped mine around his neck.
His chin settled on my shoulder, his breath warm on my neck. A tremor ran through him when I rubbed his back. “I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about.” The words were rough against my neck, and his arms tightened until I could barely draw a solid breath.
“We never meant for you to get hurt. I care for you, Peyton. I…” He groaned, another shudder rippling through him.
“I would do anything to protect you. I’m sorry that you found out this way.
I’m sorry that I am not the man you thought. ”
“None of you are who I thought you were.” I whispered the painful words, knowing they needed to be said. “That doesn’t mean I stopped caring for you. I’m not even sure what you are. I’ve heard rumors, but what I have heard doesn’t match what I know you to be.”
“I wish I could say that was true.” Misha lifted his head. “If you knew the things I’d done, you would not be sitting here. You would be a million miles away.”
Would I? Did I want to know or could I turn a blind eye?
They’d killed for me. They wore the evidence in the blood on their clothes and the weapons on their bodies. When else did they kill?
“I should have told you the truth. I knew the consequences.” Viktor remained bent in half, his head bowed.
He lifted it and a sad smile pulled his mouth to one side.
“I was in love once, Peyton. I should have told you all of this before. I should have warned you what you were walking into. You deserved the chance to choose the risk instead of having it thrown at you.”
“What was her name?”
He rubbed his hands on his thighs, his gaze going distant.
“Natasha. She was my everything. Some of our rivals found out about her, and they killed her. I swore to never love anyone again. Then you came into our lives, and I could not let you go. I was selfish, and I let you get hurt because I was too afraid to tell you the truth.”
They’d lost so much, and yet they remained part of this insane world where kidnapping and killing seemed commonplace. I did not understand why.
“Anton mentioned you giving up ports. What does that mean?” I shifted my attention to Leo. “I don’t understand any of that.”
“We receive shipments through certain ports. Only my people are allowed there. Only my shipments. I gave them to Anton. He will be able to seize all of my assets on those ports, along with the businesses he listed in his negotiations.” Leo did his best to explain, but all that I took from the conversation was that he’d given up a hell of a lot of money and more businesses than I’d even known he owned, just to get me back.
Talk about a grand gesture. But it did not mean I was ready to tell them about the baby.
Their own history as children proved it was not safe.
My baby was not safe in this world. I had to decide whether I could live with that knowledge.
This new world overwhelmed me and left me reeling.
How was I ever going to feel safe again? How would I protect my child here?
“I forgive you.” I heard myself say the words, and I realized I meant them.
I did forgive them. They’d been pulled in two directions between me and their version of family.
There were rules, and I might not understand all of them, but I understood enough to know the consequences would not be a slap on the wrist.
“Thank you for coming to save me.”
Misha kissed the side of my neck. “We will always come for you.”
The words were romantic, and a threat. Because it meant they were admitting it might happen again.
I didn’t want to lose them.
The heat of Misha’s hold spread through me, and I leaned into his chest, kissing him hard and fast.
He returned it a heartbeat later, his hand bracing the back of my neck.
My robe fell open when I shifted, and Viktor was right there to fondle my bare breast. Misha pulled us down on the bed, and everything else ceased to matter.
This, their touches, their promises, were something I could hold on to.
We made love at a frantic pace, clothes flying in every direction until we all lay skin to skin. They sank into me, stretching me to my limit and fulfilling me in a way I’d never thought possible.
By the time we finished, I could barely move from the blissful cascade of orgasms.
They’d been as attentive as ever, but also desperate in their need to hold me, relief wrapped up in possession and claiming it as protection.
But as I fell asleep, my hand drifted to my abdomen.
Their love, their protection, might not be enough to make me stay. I hated to even let the thought have a single second, but I refused, I refused, to let my child get hurt because I was too weak to walk away.