Four
Diego
Whatever it was Shade needed to tell me, it was serious, and the longer he waited, the more anxious I got. He'd said it wasn't anything bad, but his nervousness said otherwise.
"Shade," I warned when he still hadn't said anything, and he blew out a breath.
"Sorry, sorry. Okay, so every sentient being in the world has something called a fated bond with one or more people. They're called fated mates, or soul mates. It's not always a romantic bond, but it's always the strongest in a person's life."
It took me a moment to catch up because I'd been expecting something along the lines of 'I'm glad to see you're doing well, but I don't think I want to see you again.' I shook my head, trying not to hope Shade was leading toward what I hoped he was .
"Go on," I urged, not willing to say anything else until he said the words.
His hand twitched in mine, as if he was worried I'd let go, and I tightened my hold, then shifted closer to him on the couch for good measure.
"Most supes can recognize their mates in some way, but humans can't. For my species, our shadows recognize our mates."
"Your shadows?" I asked in a soft voice, desperately hoping he meant what I thought he meant. This would be very cruel otherwise.
"Yes. My shadows will protect and look after the person who is mine. Protect him, keep him safe when I can't, and then lead him back to me." His voice softened as he said the last words, and I swallowed hard.
Squeezing his hand so tight that I was sure I'd have hurt him if he was human, I leaned closer. I could feel his breath against my face, telling me I was way in his personal space. I didn't pull back.
"Is it me?" I demanded, my voice hitching as I tried to keep a hold on my emotions.
"It's you," Shade murmured, and I dropped his hand, reaching up and cupping his neck before sliding my hands up to his cheeks.
I climbed into his lap, my knees on either side of him, and pressed my lips to his.
He gasped against my mouth, then kissed me back, his lips moving against mine in a soft, gentle dance.
He grabbed my hips, holding me close as I kissed him. But then I remembered something he'd said and jerked back, panting as I leaned my forehead against his.
"You said the bond—the bond isn't always romantic," I panted, tracing the ridge of his nose with my thumb, trying to see if he still looked the same as he had years ago.
His nose was tiny and pert, his cheekbones high and sharp, his scalp smooth and devoid of hair, which surprised me a little, because the last time I'd seen him, I'd been sure he had some hair.
Or were they just strands of his shadows?
His face was angled sharply, like he was always just a little underfed. He'd told me it was what his species looked like when I'd tried to force my dinners on him as a kid.
"It's not. It can be platonic. It can even be between siblings and have no sexual or romantic component at all. But it's not like that for me," he said, and I relaxed.
"Me neither," I promised, then kissed him again, pouring in all the things I'd felt in his absence.
All the times I'd wished he was with me, all the times I'd wondered why he'd left, all the times he'd made me smile as a kid.
Back then, I'd just thought he was amazing, but over the years of his absence, he'd turned into something more.
I'd believed he was the only person who could truly understand me, who knew what it was like to be forever trapped in darkness and still see the light.
Shade pulled back after a moment, and I realized my lungs were burning.
I dragged in a deep breath as my hands slid to Shade's shoulders, then down his arms. He was as lanky as ever, his limbs just a little too long.
I could feel his shadows around us, like thick clouds brushing up against my skin again and again. They felt nice. Comforting.
"You're really happy about this, aren't you?" Shade asked, something like wonder in his voice.
"Of course I am." Didn't he know just what he meant to me? Didn't he know how much I'd missed him? How desperately I'd wanted to see him again?
"I'm glad," Shade murmured, and I tucked my face into his neck, breathing him in .
"You have no idea what it was like, coming home and finding out you were gone.
I wasn't scared when I lost my sight. I really wasn't. When the doctors told me my blindness was possibly permanent, my first thought was that we had something in common now.
I'd been so sure you'd help me, that I wouldn't have to worry about anything because you'd be there.
When I came home and found out you were gone?
That was when the fear came. I broke down.
I cried and cried, and my mom thought it was because it was finally hitting me that I'd never see again, but all I cared about was that I would never see you again. "
Neither of us spoke for a long moment after my confession, and Shade wrapped his arms around me, holding me to him as I focused completely on him.
His scent, his soft breaths, the way his heart beat against my chest. His heartbeats weren't like mine, more of a thud-thud-thud thud-thud, and I found myself following the beat as if it was a lullaby.
"I'm sorry," Shade murmured, startling me. Had I really been about to fall asleep? In Shade's lap? "I never should've left you."
"Yeah, you shouldn't have. But it's okay. We're together now, and I'm not letting you get away again."
"I'm not going anywhere," Shade assured me, and I smiled against his skin.
We sat like that for a while, talking in whispers as we told each other about our lives away from the other. I told him about teaching a class of third-graders, feeling all warm and fuzzy when he expressed how proud he was of me.
He told me about drifting from shadow to shadow after he left my home, and how Zephyr found him and offered him a home at the Sanctuary .
We talked until a loud bell interrupted us, the same as last evening, and Shade patted my back.
"Are you going to go have lunch with everyone?"
"I don't want to leave you here alone," I said with a pout as I sat back.
"I could come with you, in your shadow," Shade offered, and my eyes widened. We used to do that when I was a kid, and while Shade couldn't interact with me when he was inside my shadow, he'd still enjoy going places.
"Yes, please. I'll grab us some food and then come back early so we can eat here," I suggested, and Shade pressed a soft kiss on my lips, making my cheeks heat up.
"Sounds good."
Shade
The moment Diego stepped into the dining room, silence fell. All eyes—as far as I could see from my spot in his shadow—turned to him, but of course, he didn't notice.
"Diego?" Liam asked as he hurried over, a note of incredulity in his voice. "What are you doing here?"
Diego was surprised too, because I'd been too distracted by his kisses and having him in my lap to tell him that he already had another friend here.
"Liam? What are you doing here?"
"Let me hug you first," Liam said, then gave Diego a tight squeeze that would've made me jealous if he didn't have a ring on his finger and his mate right behind him.
Diego hugged him back, then pulled away, his head turning from side to side. "You are human, right?"
Liam snickered. "Yes, I am. You've met my fiancé, though. Haruto? "
"Oh! I knew something was off about your sitting-on-a-desk story!" Diego exclaimed, making Liam's cheeks pinken. I had no idea what they were talking about, but I was sure Diego would tell me later.
"Your turn, who are you here with?" Liam asked, searching behind Diego and frowning when he saw no one. He turned to look behind him, then back at Diego, clearly confused.
"Shade," Diego admitted with a smile, and Liam's eyes went wide.
"Oh my God, really? I am so happy for you! I gotta go give Shade a hug," Liam said, almost tripping in his excitement, and I chuckled.
"Ah, he's here too," Diego said, making Liam's eyes shoot right to his shadow. Our eyes practically met, but Liam couldn't exactly see me.
"Shade! I'm so happy for you! This is so amazing!" Then he took Diego's hand. "Come on, Let's get some food and you can tell me all about how this happened."
Liam dragged Diego—and me with him—off like a whirlwind with Haruto trailing beside me, careful not to step on me. It wouldn't have harmed me, but I supposed he was being polite.
"Congratulations," he murmured, and I smiled when I realized he was talking to me. I was sure I'd see both of them in my area later, and some of the others too.
After Liam, Diego, and Haruto had grabbed food for all four of us, we made our way back to my area, Liam promising to introduce Diego to the others later.
We chatted as we ate, seated around a coffee table with Diego and I on a couch, Liam on an armchair, and Haruto standing beside him. With his spider legs, Haruto had trouble sitting on anything beside his web-spun hammocks, so he preferred to stand.
Liam was excited about Diego now being a part of the Sanctuary family, especially because he'd been worrying about how he would invite Diego to his wedding.
I loved seeing the wide smile on Diego's face. He was nothing like the child I'd once known—except for that smile. He still got a dimple in his right cheek, and I wanted to reach out and brush my finger against it, to press into that little dip.
Since we had company, I assuaged myself by teasing his dimple with a shadow. Haruto could probably see it, but he didn't comment.
After we'd finished eating, Haruto and Liam took our plates with them, wishing us a good day as they took their leave.
I waited until the outer door had closed before shifting closer to Diego, who turned to face me, his eyes searching me even though he couldn't see me.
"I could feel your shadows, you know. Teasing me, tickling me," he murmured, and I smiled sheepishly.
"I wanted to touch you, but I didn't think it would be polite in front of company."
Diego grinned. "And mauling me with your shadows is okay?"
"It's so dark here, they wouldn't really be able to see much."
"Oh, I forgot about that. It's always dark to me, so," he said with a shrug, and I frowned. Could I have stopped that somehow? If I'd taken him to a hospital before taking care of that asshole? Would he still have his sight if I'd reacted faster?
"Don't do that," he murmured, pulling my attention back to him. His face was drawn, his lips turned down in a frown.
"Don't do what? "
"Don't—don't pity me. Don't try to figure out if you could've stopped this somehow. Don't treat me like there's something wrong with me, like I'm lacking somehow."
I sucked in a breath, then pulled him close, pressing my lips against his cheek. "You're not lacking, Diego. You're everything to me. Everything. You're all that matters."
Diego exhaled a rough breath, but he was still stiff in my arms, as if he didn't quite believe me.
"The only reason I was thinking about the what-ifs is because I wanted to save you the pain."
Diego huffed. "I told you. The only thing that caused me pain was you leaving.
Not losing my sight. I know I should probably miss it or want it back, but I honestly don't care.
I have everything I could ever want, and while being able to see again would be cool, I'm not losing sleep over it.
If that's not enough for you—if I'm not enough for you—"
I cut him off with a hard kiss, unwilling to let him continue. I never wanted him to think he was lacking, that I needed anything except him.
"You're enough, Diego," I murmured against his lips, and he made a sound suspiciously like a sob.
I pulled him closer, as close as it was physically possible, and wrapped him in my shadows, shielding him from everything that could ever harm him, even my own stupid words.
We stayed like that for a long while before Diego finally pulled back. He sniffed a little, then gave me a rueful smile. "So, where do we go from here?"