Chapter Eighteen Jennifer
Chapter Eighteen
Jennifer
The second I step outside and a wave of fresh air hits me, I sense a wave of relief washing over me. My cheeks are still warm from all the laughing I’ve engaged in with Katya.
It’s been a very long time since I’ve had somebody to gossip with over drinks, so it‘s been… Refreshing. I‘m not dumb. I know why Daniel wanted to take me. I know who Katya‘s husband is. What his relation to Daniel is. But regardless, I‘m thankful for Daniel letting me join.
When Katya started talking about starting a family, I mentioned my daughter Mary to her. Thankfully, Katya didn’t ask about her father. I’m not ready for that conversation yet.
Not with her, neither with any other stranger, really. My mother is the only person who really knows about what happened. And honestly, I‘m absolutely terrified of the moment in which Mary might want to contact him.
Because all I could tell her in that moment is: he doesn‘t want to see you. He never did.
Katya did mention wanting a child of her own but being unsure if this world is the right one for a kid.
And frankly, it brought me back to how wrong me and Mary are in Daniel’s world.
It also pushed me further into the realization that I’m slowly adapting to it.
I know I shouldn‘t. I know I have a daughter to protect from men like Daniel.
However, the thought of getting used to this lifestyle… It scares me just as much as it excites me. What‘s the psychology behind that? Getting excited about something when you know it‘s wrong?
“Remind me, pretty. How many drinks did you have?”, Daniel asks me out of the blue. I smile. “Only one,” I reply. He nods, grinning to himself. “Good girl.”
Fuckkkkkk.
My cheeks flush again, but this time, it’s for a completely different reason. I don’t respond to his new nickname for me, but in my head—fuck, I’m losing my mind. I absolutely suck at flirting. The last time I‘ve done that was years ago.
“What did you and that man talk about?”, I ask Daniel, the curiosity getting the better of me. I know what he told me—no questions. But I’m a curious woman.
“None of your business, pretty.” We wait for his driver to pull up, and I use the time to ask more. I‘m not satisfied, neither okay with an answer like that. It wasn‘t informative at all, and on top of that, it was rude.
“I want to know,” I resist. I know I’m challenging him, but it excites me. His gaze hardens, and he looks down at me, his expression unreadable—some mix of frustration and something I can’t quite place.
His eyes wander lower than my face, making me smile softly. When I got dressed earlier, I noticed the way this dress hugged my curves and my tits.
Especially my tits. I know Daniel would enjoy the sight of me.
And while I know it’s not smart to want this, it’s been some time since a man wanted me like this.
And it feels so… Good to have him look at me with those lustful eyes. It brings me a huge wave of excitement, temptations and lust that I know I shouldn’t want.
Temptations that are forbidden, yet… I’m craving them. I‘m craving more of the feelings I‘m getting when he looks at me like he‘s lusting after me, my body, and my touch.
“You shouldn’t know. It’s family business,” he finally says, breaking eye contact. “Aren’t I part of that family business now?”, I question, the words slipping out before I can stop them. I know I‘m overstepping, but it’s the only way he‘s finally getting out of his shell.
His breath catches as he continues to listen to me. “After all, I’m your nurse. I work for you. Other women don’t work for you, right? Your sister doesn’t.”
The tension between us spikes. His eye twitches before he looks down on the ground. He sighs, his eyes narrowing before they finally meet mine.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about, sweetheart. Let it go. You shouldn’t know more. You’ve heard and seen enough to know what this conversation was about. You’ve seen it all”, he stays quiet for a moment, “Just… Let it go, pretty. This isn‘t your world. You don‘t understand this.”
Funny of him to say when he was the one who dragged me into his world. I never asked him to bring me into all of this, yet here we are.
As I recall his words once more, I stare at the floor, the truth dawning on me.
His words. This was about that man who died that morning, wasn’t it?
I bet it was. Fuck. A rush of memories hits me like a tidal wave—memories I’ve been desperately trying to bury.
It’s my fault he’s dead, isn’t it? God, I‘m so stupid. Of course it is.
A tear escapes my eye before I look up at him, but instead of his focus being on me, he’s already staring at the car driving toward us. I wipe my eyes quickly, embarrassed.
“I did see it, Daniel. But that doesn’t mean I can’t handle it.”
When he opens the car door for me, I see his gaze soften, and a gentle smile tugging at his lips as he notices another tear streaking down my cheek, ruining my mascara. It‘s his fault for buying me mascara which isn‘t waterproof. Screw you, Daniel.
“You can’t handle it, pretty. I know you can’t.
And you don’t have to.” He wipes my tear away, his touch tender.
A few seconds pass before he continues, looking at my lips meanwhile.
Like he‘s desperate to kiss them, but he denies himself pleasure.
Or, perhaps, I‘m the one who‘s desperate. Maybe I‘m just imagining it.
“You’re mine now. You’re under my control.
You shouldn’t worry about something like my business when all you got to do is simple tasks such as putting on bandages.
Worry about yourself and your daughter first. I’ll worry about the rest, my love.
“ Shit. I‘ll take that back, I‘m definitely not imagining it.
His words settle deep inside me, and something shifts.
I should push back. I should remind him I’m not his possession.
But instead, a strange sense of relief floods me.
I don’t have to carry this weight alone anymore.
I never had to carry it alone to begin with, but I was too protective of my daughter to see it.
To see that, maybe, Daniel isn‘t as bad as I made him out to be.
He softly shoves me toward the car. “Take a seat, Jennifer. Let’s go home.” Home. His home. My home? After only a week? I freeze for a second, letting that realization wash over me. A week. It’s been a week, and already, he’s made this my world just as much as it‘s his.
And for the first time since I‘ve come here, I don’t hate it. I should hate it. But I don’t. I’ve started to belong here. Whether I like it or not, this is my life now. But, strangely... I do kind of like it.
And I‘m guessing it‘s all thanks to Daniel. I could never relax in this situation if it wasn‘t for him. For the way he treats me, the way he speaks to me— the way he speaks to my daughter.
The thought of escaping no longer lingers in my mind.
Instead, it’s the realization that… I never truly considered escaping his world in the first place.
It was always we‘ll see. I‘ll try to talk to him later.
I‘ll see how Mary gets along with Daniel‘s nephew. All of that. But never I want to leave.
And I don’t know who or what to blame. My sexual needs that have gone unmet for years? The weight lifted off my shoulders, knowing I no longer have to raise my daughter alone and work endless hours just to survive?
Or is it him?
Daniel Caruso. The man who looks too good for his own good, with a softness for me and Mary that’s been there since day one.
I‘ve had the answer to my question all along. It was him. I couldn‘t blame him for what happened that morning, even if I‘d try to. Because I know none of this is his fault.
He was just trying to protect his family, just like I tried to protect mine.