Chapter Forty Daniel
Chapter Forty
Daniel
The house is too quiet.
Not the kind of quiet that brings me peace, but the kind that suffocates me—thick, heavy, inescapable. Even the air feels different, like the walls themselves are mourning.
I blink at the ceiling, but I don’t really see anything. My body feels numb, my chest hollow. A part of me still expects to hear her voice through the walls.
The gentle way she used to say my name. The way she always comforted me when she knew I needed it. The warmth of her touch on my face. But there’s nothing. Just emptiness.
Only the reminder that I’ll never hear her say my name again
The bed shifts beside me, pulling me back to the present. A soft breath, the warmth of a body close to mine.
Jennifer.
She’s still here. She didn’t leave last night. It makes my lips curl up into a small smile.
It’s the little things she does which make me feel alive. She reminds me that she’s here. Whenever I need her.
I turn my head, and there she is—eyes closed, her face peaceful in sleep, like she belongs here. Like she’s always belonged here.
It makes me remember all the things I wanted to tell her yesterday. I sigh quietly, thinking of the conversation I had with my brother.
After he saw our mom for the last time, I let him hold onto me for support. I’m his older brother, after all.
But still, I think all three of us siblings needed each other. I don’t even remember how long we sat there last night on the balcony, talking about our favorite memories with Mom.
Talking about life.
Until Andrew asked me if I’d finally told Jennifer. And Victoria instantly smiled.
I told him the truth. I wanted to tell her, but…
He immediately smiled, despite the pain we had to endure just a few hours ago.
“Oh, come on. You have to tell her. Make her yours before someone else does it.”
I understood what he meant with his words. But even then, I don’t think she’d even let anyone else make her theirs.
Because deep down, we both know what we are.
We both know who we belong to. Who we love.
My gaze drops to our hands, still tangled together from the night before. When I crawled under the blanket to go to sleep, she immediately cuddled up to me, letting me feel her warmth.
She hasn’t slept in her own room for days now. We gave each other a silent agreement to sleep together.
I tighten my grip, needing something real to hold onto. And for the first time since last night, the crushing weight on my chest eases—just a little.
That’s when her lashes flutter, and she looks up at me with her soft, knowing eyes.
We look at each other for a while, not saying anything. After a few moments, I get closer to her, pressing my lips onto hers, showing her how grateful I am to have her here.
How much I like her.
When both of us let go of each other, she looks into my eyes.
“Daniel… I love you,” she whispers once more, and a smile spreads across her face.
Fuck. She's so beautiful, especially when she smiles. She's such a wonderful woman.
All I do is rub her hand gently, not knowing yet how to respond.
She said the words I wanted to say all this time. She said them twice now.
But me? I’m a coward, unsure of how to act. How to tell her that I feel the same.
“Listen, sweetheart...” But she cuts me off in an instant.
“Please don't feel like you have to say it back now. You're hurt and you’re in pain. I don't want you to feel obliged to answer. I just need you to know that I love you, Daniel. I love you, and I'm gonna be here for you. I know this is hard for you, all of this is, but… I’m gonna stay with you no matter what. I’m not leaving.”
Her eyes stay locked with mine, but my smile doesn’t fade. It only grows, soft and real.
"My pretty girl," I start, my voice low. My hand raises up to her face, stroking her cheek gently. "I love you, too."
She looks at me, brows furrowing in concern. "I don't want you to say it right now. You're hurt, and you're confused, and…”
"No," I interrupt, getting up and moving closer. "Listen to me." I take her hand, the words finally tumbling out.
"I love you, Jennifer. I fucking love you. I just didn’t know how to say it before. With everything that's been happening lately, it’s been... hard."
I run a hand through my hair, frustration and relief mixing in my chest.
"It was easier for me to fuck you and make you feel good than to say those words. I was unsure how to tell you. We agreed on keeping this purely sexual, but it’s not what I want anymore,” I sigh.
“I’ve never said these words to anyone before. Not in a romantic way, at least. Princess, you’re so special to me, you have no fucking idea. And I’m so grateful to have you here. Especially now. Thank you for being here with me.”
We both lay there, just looking at each other before I speak up once more. “Thank you for loving me.”
Her eyes fill with tears before she kisses me gently, making my mind fill up with love, making me forget about all the terrible things that have happened.
At least for the moment.
“Be mine forever,” she whispers in between our kisses. “Please keep me. Don’t leave me.”
I smile against her lips, her words filling up my heart. “I’ll never leave. I promise you that. I’d never leave you like—” I stop, but in her eyes, I can see she knows what I was about to say.
“Don’t be like him,” is all she says. “Love me and Mary forever, okay? Don’t leave us. She likes you too much. And I love you…”
“I would never. My two princesses need me. I know that. I’ll protect my girls forever.”
She simply giggles into my chest, her cheeks turning red.
I stand behind her, looking at us in the mirror. Her dress is long and flowy, with a gorgeous flower print on it. It’s June, and the warm weather is slowly catching up to us.
And although my mind is definitely not in the mood for summer, I like seeing Jennifer’s excitement.
She tries to keep it low, not wanting to disturb my grief. I know that. I can sense it.
But she looks so beautiful in this dress, and I don’t want her to feel like she can’t have happiness just because I can’t in this moment.
When she’s done looking over her outfit, she turns around to face me. She looks at me with a gentle smile on her face.
I do my best to smile back, but in reality, my mind is filled with the images from yesterday. Her face. Her closed eyes. Her body, completely red.
I close my eyes shut, taking a breath before I open my eyes again. I can’t get rid of all the blood in my mind. It’s gone. I know it is.
Her clothes have changed, and her body is being examined. I know.
But it won’t fucking leave me alone.
Maybe, it never will.
But I’m not ready to face that reality. Not yet…
Jennifer looks at me in concern. “Are you okay, darling?” she whispers.
A gentle smile plays on my lips. She started calling me darling recently. And I love it.
I nod. “I’ll be fine.”
But as convincing as it may sound, she can feel I’m lying. Not on purpose, of course. I just don’t want her to feel bad.
“We can stay in bed all day if that’s what you need today,” she reassures me. But I shake my head.
“I think I just have to leave this house today. I need something else to think about.”
She nods. “Well… How about we go get breakfast, then? We both got dressed already anyway. I know a café which sells really nice coffee and pastries,” she explains. “We could take Mary with us. And Enzo, if he wants to come, too.”
“That sounds really good, pretty. I’d love that.” I wrap my arms around her waist before I kiss her softly, feeling her melt into my arms. Fuck, how much I love this. How much I love her.
Her excited expression on her face doesn’t leave her while I grab my jacket and my wallet, her already opening the door, ready to leave.
I slip my gun into the back of my jeans before we leave the room. Although I tried to do secretly it so she wouldn’t see, I know she did. I just hope she understands that I do this for protection purposes only.
To be honest, I don’t feel safe at all. The only moments I feel safe are when it’s pitch black, the door to my room is locked, and the windows are locked too.
When Jennifer is cuddled up in my arms, breathing quietly next to me.
But outside? My mind is racing all the time. More now than ever before.
Right before we enter the children’s room, I see Hayden in the corner of my eye.
“Go in and tell them about your idea, alright?” I ask her. She nods but seems confused, so I explain. “I gotta talk to Hayden for a minute.”
Thankfully, she understands and goes to talk to the kids already, typing in the room code and greeting them.
Meanwhile, I walk towards Hayden, who notices me right before he leaves. His forced smile is obvious. He’s not the type of guy who knows how to comfort someone.
He rarely does it, so obviously, he has no fucking clue what to do or say. But that’s alright.
I know he’s got my back. That’s all I need. He proved it to me before. Several times.
I stand next to him, both of us keeping a respectable distance. I’m just staring at his face while he fixes his tie.
“Listen,” I start before I reach him. He nods. Quickly, I check the hallway before continuing.
“Whatever happens next, the first thing we have to do is get his friend to talk. Or more than one. I don’t care. All I need right now is information. Just bring them to me tomorrow, alright?” He nods.
“So, you don’t wanna take it slow like you said before? I don’t know yet if he’s the guy we need—” I scoff.
“Two people died. My mother died. I’m not taking anything fucking slow here after that. I mean, who will they kill next? Jennifer?”
Even the thought of that makes my mind fill with rage.
“Get that asshole for me. If he doesn’t have any information, fine. I’ll kill him and try his other friends. I don’t give a single fuck if they don’t have anything to do with this. He kills my mother? I kill all these bastard’s out there until he’s the last one I murder with my own hands.”
Hayden gulps, probably sure that my idea is extremely radical and thoughtless. Maybe it is.