2. Chapter 2
Chapter two
Day 1 Coronado, California
Demi sat in front of the blank computer screen, back straight and chest tight, as the knowledge that she meant nothing to the man she loved spread throughout her body creating a hollow ache.
Aiden hadn’t remembered the significance of today’s date. More evidence he didn’t know her, didn’t care about her. At least, not like she cared about him. If the situation were reversed, she’d know exactly what this day meant to him. She would do everything possible to see him through it. But then, she loved him, while to him, she was nothing but a convenience. A warm, willing body, on those few occasions he was on leave and horny as hell after months of abstinence.
A sour burn climbed her throat.
You have no right to be upset about this. This is what you asked for. Sex without emotions. Sex without love. You want more now, but he’s fulfilling the terms of the agreement.
Her gaze focused on the ‘Call Ended’ button. The rectangular box was the color of blood. It reminded her of Donnie, of how that foul baseball had struck the side of his head. His blood was so red and there had been so much of it. It had soaked into her hands and then into her mind.
Even now, six years later, the memory sliced through her heart. Her breathing hitched. She could taste the bitterness of shock, smell the metallic tinge of terror, feel the gritty fragments of bone as she tried to hold his skull together.
Demi flinched from the memory, struggling to release her caged breath as her thoughts returned to Aiden.
She should have known better, split from him sooner, before she fell for him, before their arrangement started to hurt. His obliviousness to the memories attached to today’s date confirmed what she’d suspected for the past year and a half. He didn’t care about her, and she wasn’t cut out for a fuck buddy bargain. For her, the physicality of sex required the emotional support of love.
But that love had to be reciprocated, and hers wasn’t.
At first, the arrangement was wonderful. He was the perfect counterpart to her libido. Not only was he the sexiest man she’d ever known, but she was wildly attracted to him. Their sexual chemistry had been off the charts—still was. They didn’t just heat the sheets; they burned them to cinders.
But then she’d developed feelings for him, feelings that were tearing her apart. And it wasn’t just the pain of loving someone who didn’t love her back. Nope, there were other emotions all tangled up inside her, too.
Like the fear and anxiety during those endless deployments when she didn’t know where he was or what he was doing or if he was okay. SEALs led dangerous lives, with the threat of death constantly hanging over their heads. One misstep, one piece of wrong intelligence, one bad guy where he wasn’t supposed to be, could send Aiden’s superior to her door with the news of his death. Just the thought of that possibility knotted her stomach.
And then there was the loneliness and sexual frustration while he was gone. He’d kickstarted her libido, only to leave her hanging for months on end. Her handy dandy vibrator and agile fingers didn’t quell her sexual cravings anymore. She needed more than the physical stimulations of toys. She needed his weight on top of her, his thickness inside of her, the distinctive male scent of him enveloping her.
The craving and fear were bad enough, but her evolving feelings were the third strike. The fact he hadn’t remembered the significance of today was just one sign he didn’t reciprocate her feelings. His endless secrets were another sign, the ones he refused to share with her, the ones he hid from her.
Oh, not his SEAL secrets. She understood the necessity there, as well as the intention behind them. But his personal reticence, his unwillingness to share anything with her, was much harder to swallow. There was no love without trust, without the sharing of oneself.
And Aiden shared nothing; at least, with her. Not the nightmares that plagued him while he slept beside her. Not the injuries he accrued while in service to his country. Not even the injuries he received during his downtime, while in pursuit of his own enjoyment.
He’d never told her about the accident up on the slopes of Snow Valley, or the injury he’d received to his knee that had been so severe it had required both Kait and Cosky’s combined efforts to heal the damage. And she’d been there. Oh, not on the slopes. She’d been in the resort spa. But she’d been there, sharing a room and a bed with him, dining across from him. They’d even had dinner together hours after he’d taken that hit on the slopes. Yet he’d never said a word about the accident. Not one damn word.
Kait had been the one to tell her after Aiden had shipped out.
That’s when she knew she had to get out, that their ‘friends with fucking privileges’ wasn’t working. It wasn’t what she wanted anymore. She wanted a partner. Marriage. Someone to have kids with, to build a family with. To live her life with. Someone who shared the important details of his life with her.
And while she loved him, Aiden didn’t fit those parameters. Nor would she find the man who did, when she was emotionally and physically tied to Aiden. She needed to break things off with him before her feelings grew even stronger. And she needed to do it as soon as she saw him again—but face to face, not over video.
When he returned home, she was going to tell him goodbye.
A sudden musical tone erupted from her cell phone. She grabbed it from where it vibrated next to her laptop. Ocean View Vet lit up the screen. Instantly, anxiety tensed the muscles of her shoulders and spine, which was ridiculous. It shouldn’t matter whether the cat had survived its surgery. She had no emotional investment in it. She’d simply been the one to see it get hit by the car and, like any good Samaritan, had rushed it to the closest vet.
“Yes.” She steadied her voice.
It doesn’t matter if it lived or died. I did what I could for it. My conscience is clear.
Too bad her tense muscles and churning stomach didn’t agree with that statement.
“Could I speak to Demi Barnes?” a woman asked.
“Speaking.” Demi’s voice climbed. She forced it back down.
Why was she so anxious over the fate of this stupid cat? Maybe it was because of the day. Death stalked this day in her mind. It would be nice to cheat the Grim Reaper out of another soul for a change.
“This is Doctor Morrison with Ocean View Veterinary Clinic. You asked me to let you know whether the cat you brought in survived surgery.” The woman continued in a calm voice.
“Yes. Did it?” She braced herself. The animal had been in terrible shape. So mangled and bloody, she hadn’t been sure it was still alive when she’d reached the animal clinic.
“It did. We removed the back right leg and left eye, as we had discussed. But we also had to remove the tail. The nerves, vertebra and ligaments were too badly damaged to save it.”
Demi winced. The poor thing. “Will it survive, do you think?”
The veterinarian paused before saying in a quiet voice, “At this point, we’ve done everything we can. Its survival will depend on its will to live.” Her voice turned brisk. “You mentioned when you brought the cat in that you’d pay for any lifesaving procedures and left us a credit card number as a security deposit. Is this still the card you want us to put the charges on?”
“Yes. Do you have a total on the charges yet?” She was obviously crazy. She wasn’t responsible for this creature. Why in the world had she offered to pay for the medical charges?
“As of right now, we’re looking at $2,987. This includes several projected days in intensive care. If the animal dies before those days are used, or if he recovers more quickly, you may get a slight refund.”
Demi winced, then shrugged. She had the money, might as well use it on something worthwhile. “Fine. Run the charges. Where will you send him after he recovers?”
The vet made a sound that showed surprise. “We were under the assumption that you’d be taking him home.”
“Oh, no,” she said automatically. “Aiden hates cats.”
“I see.” There was a long pause.
Demi felt compelled to fill the silence. “Maybe the local shelter would take him?”
“I’m sure they would.” The woman’s voice was neutral. “But with his injuries, he’d likely be euthanized to make room for more adoptable cats.”
“Oh…” Demi’s voice was small.
“We can look into some of the local rescues, see if any of them have room for a special needs cat.”
Special needs? She grimaced. Of course it was. With the extent of its injuries, it could hardly go back to living on the streets.
“We have a couple of days before we need to decide,” the woman continued. “He may not even make it through the night. He’s lost a lot of blood and the damage to his body was catastrophic.”
Demi scowled. The vet’s tone suggested that death might be the best option.
“I’ve changed my mind. I’ll take him.” The decision burst from her with no input from her brain. No, Aiden didn’t like cats, but his preferences didn’t matter anymore. He might not know it yet, but they were officially broken up.
“Okay…” the vet sounded hesitant. “Are you certain?”
“Absolutely.” To Demi’s surprise, she was sure. The cat needed a home, and she had plenty of space. “Can I visit him?” At least a visit to the animal clinic would get her out of the house. And if she was going to bring him home, they needed to bond. There would be bandages to change and medicines to give. He needed to learn to trust her and let her take care of him.
“Of course,” the doctor assured her.
After making an appointment to visit the cat, Demi hung up. Looks like she had a pet. A roommate, to keep her company as she moved on with her life.