Chapter Twenty
Remi
I don’t fight when Lexi and Rue pull me away. My legs move, but I don’t feel them. The noise of the clubhouse—Shadow’s voice, the brothers’ laughter—fades behind us until it’s just the three of us in one of the side rooms. Lexi closes the door softly.
Rue’s hand lands on my shoulder. “Hey,” she says gently. “Ignore him. He was drunk and angry. He didn’t mean half of it.”
“He meant every word,” I whisper. The tears come before I can stop them, hot and relentless. “And he’s right. I stole. I lied. But I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone.”
Rue exchanges a look with Lexi, both of them quiet, waiting.
“It’s my stepfather,” I finally manage, voice shaking.
“He’s the reason I left home. He . . . he killed my mum.
” The words tumble out before I can swallow them back.
“And he passed a debt onto me that he says Mum owed. The guy . . . he threatened me and said he’s come for Shadow.
I panicked. I thought if I could just pay him off, he’d leave me alone and then I’d pay the club back and no one would know. ”
Lexi crouches beside me, rubbing slow circles over my back. “Why didn’t you come to us, you didn’t have to deal with it alone?”
“It’s the only way I know,” I sniff, forcing a watery smile. “Every time I lean on someone, it goes wrong. Shadow hates me.”
Rue sits on the arm of the couch, voice low. “He doesn’t hate you. He’s angry, yeah, but I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Remi, he’s in love with you.”
“He’s lashing out because he’s hurting,” Lexi adds quietly. “It’s the biker way.”
“And what about me?” My laugh breaks apart. “I’m hurting too. I just watched him stick his tongue down Sasha’s throat.” I shake my head, a shuddering breath escaping me. “I don’t even blame him. She’s stunning.”
“And so are you,” Rue says softly.
I wipe my face and push to my feet. “I have to get my stuff out of his room. I can’t face him again.”
“Leave it with us,” Rue says quickly. “I’ll keep him talking while you two grab your things. Lexi can find you a room.”
I nod, too exhausted to argue. “He doesn’t drink,” I murmur. “I’ve never seen him like that before.”
Lexi squeezes my hand. “You have to see the worst of him at some point, and I think that was it.” I think back to a couple of weeks ago, the night he beat Lee and shudder. Despite everything, the hurt, the shame, I still want him. I still want him to love me.
I stand in Shadow’s bedroom. The rope he used to tie me up lays coiled on the floor beside the bag of money. I pick it up, place it on the side table, then slide the cash back under the bed.
The shopping bags are still stacked neatly in the corner, full of the things he bought me. I don’t touch them. Instead, I pull out the clothes I arrived in. They’ve been washed since, folded and ready. With the jeans and shirt Lexi gave me, it’s enough.
“That’s all you need?” she asks softly from the doorway.
“It’s what I came with,” I murmur, slipping my toothbrush into my pocket.
Lexi leads me upstairs. I know this floor—it’s the rooms where the club girls stay, but at least it’s not the basement.
“Lock the door,” she warns. “Sometimes the brothers stumble up here drunk. If it’s unlocked, they’ll see it as an invitation. I’ll get you a room on another floor tomorrow, once Axel approves it.”
I shake my head. “Here’s fine. Thanks.”
“Try to rest,” she says. “Breakfast is at seven for the girls, eight for the bikers. If you want to avoid Shadow, come early.”
I wait for her to leave, then lock the door. The silence presses in. I sink onto the bed and release a long breath.
Now what?
I don’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes, it’s his face I see. Angry, broken, lost.
The whispers of the night fade into silence, replaced by the low hum of pipes and the occasional thud from somewhere above. I toss and turn until the first streaks of light cut through the thin curtains. My eyes burn from crying, and my chest is heavy with everything I can’t fix.
By seven, I can’t lie there any longer. I push myself out of bed, pull on the jeans and shirt, and run my fingers through my hair. My reflection looks as wrecked as I feel. Still, I square my shoulders, remind myself I have to keep going, and open the door.
I don’t get two steps before the door opposite swings open and Shadow steps out. For a heartbeat, neither of us moves.
He looks rough, with dark circles beneath his eyes, stubble shadowing his jaw. He’s topless, his kutte slung carelessly over one shoulder. And behind him, the sound of a woman’s laugh echoes faintly from the room he’s just left. My stomach twists painfully.
His eyes meet mine, and for the first time since last night, I see something flicker there. Guilt, shame, maybe both.
I drop my gaze, muttering, “Excuse me,” and move to step past him.
But his hand comes out, catching my wrist. His thumb brushes my skin once, tentative, before he says quietly, “It’s not what it looks like.”
I laugh, hollow and small. “You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“I know,” he admits, voice low, “but I’m giving you one anyway.”
I finally look up at him. His eyes are bloodshot, the fight gone from them. He looks exhausted. “You really think it matters now?” I whisper.
His jaw tenses, a muscle ticking. “It matters to me.”
I pull my wrist free, my heart thundering. “Then you should’ve thought about that before you kissed her.”
I start down the hall before he can answer, forcing myself not to look back.
But his voice follows me, rough and unsteady. “Remi . . .”
I stop, just for a second.
“Eat something,” he says quietly. “Please.”
I don’t turn around. “Don’t pretend you care,” I whisper then keep walking.
There are only two girls at the table, chatting quietly over breakfast. The smell of bacon hits me the second I step in, and my stomach growls loud enough for one of them to look up and grin.
“Help yourself,” she says, nodding towards the tray piled high with sandwiches.
I slide into a chair, grateful for the normality of it, and take a bite. The taste is heaven after the night I’ve had. For a minute, I almost feel human again.
Then Sasha walks in.
She’s all glossy hair and smug smiles, wearing his shirt. The same one Shadow had on last night. My jaw stills mid-chew, the bread turning dry in my mouth. The room feels smaller. Hotter.
Her gaze sweeps the table, landing on me. That knowing little smirk curves her mouth as she strolls past, hips swaying like she owns the place.
The girls keep chatting, oblivious. My appetite dies right there at the table. I stare down at my plate, my half-eaten sandwich suddenly unappealing.
Sasha helps herself to coffee, her movements slow and deliberate, like she knows she’s being watched. She leans against the counter, sipping loudly before turning to the other girls.
“You would not believe the night I had,” she starts, voice syrupy sweet. “Let’s just say, Shadow’s not quite as cold as everyone thinks.”
The table erupts with giggles. I swallow my food, every muscle in my body tightening.
“Oh, come on,” one of the girls teases. “You and Shadow? Again?”
Sasha smirks, stirring sugar into her coffee even though she’s clearly not paying attention. “What can I say? He’s got a soft spot for me. And that man knows how to make a girl forget her name. How could I say no?” She laughs, tossing her hair over her shoulder.
The girls laugh louder.
I swallow hard, my throat tight. The words hit like shards of glass, sharp and deliberate.
Sasha takes a slow sip, pretending to ponder something. “Poor thing,” she adds, feigning sympathy. “The last girl who thought she’d tamed him didn’t last long either. Guess he gets bored easy.”
The other girls glance at me now, realising I’ve gone completely still.
I push my plate away, forcing a smile that feels like it’s cracking my face. “You can finish mine,” I say quietly and stand.
“Going somewhere, sweetheart?” Sasha purrs, her tone light but her eyes gleaming.
I meet her gaze, and for the first time, I don’t bother hiding the hatred. “Yeah,” I say, voice low, “before I give you another black eye.”
The room goes dead quiet. One of the girls coughs awkwardly into her drink. Sasha’s smile falters just for a second, and that’s all I need. I turn and walk out before I do something I can’t take back.
The second the door closes behind me, I break into a run. Past the bikes. Past the clubhouse. Past everything that’s choking me.
The cold morning air burns my lungs, but I don’t stop until I reach the tree at the side of the building, the one I always seem to end up under when the world’s too loud.
I grip the trunk, my nails digging into the rough bark, and finally let it out.
A scream tears from my throat, raw, guttural, everything I’ve been holding in. The sound rips through the still air and leaves my chest aching, empty.
Then another. Louder, until my voice cracks and I can’t breathe anymore.
I drop to my knees, the dirt biting through my jeans, my palms pressed hard to my face as sobs take over. All the anger, the heartbreak, the fear, it all pours out at once, unstoppable.
I curl forward, my forehead against the ground, shoulders shaking as the last of it breaks free. I cry until my whole body hurts, until there’s nothing left but silence and the hollow ache of everything I’ve lost.
With shaking hands, I take out my phone and type out the text I’ve been thinking about all night.
Me: I need money. It’s urgent.
A second later, his reply comes.
Colin: Princess, I’ve missed you. I’ll bring the money. Shall we say ten at the clubhouse?
Me: Five grand. I’ll be here.
It doesn’t surprise me he knows exactly where I am. He’s been patiently waiting while this entire shitshow played out, knowing I’d end up right back at his feet. Begging. And now, he’s won. I’ll go back home and do whatever he demands.
But it’ll feel a lot less painful than being here.