Chapter 12 #2
But a terrible whirring had started in her head, like ocean waves rushing over her. She took a step back.
But she was the stupid one here.
She’d known. Some part of her had known from the beginning that Asher Morrison was keeping secrets—had even told him that.
She’d thought it had to do with something he’d done…like maybe Draven had a personal vendetta against him.
But really, she’d just wanted to trust him, hadn’t she?
Oh, she was stupid.
And she’d even kissed him!
Maybe he saw that realization on her face, because Asher’s jaw clenched. Something flickered across his face. Resignation. Guilt. The look of someone about to lose everything.
“I’ve been doing more than working my informants,” he said quietly. “I’ve been undercover.”
That didn’t sound so bad…
“Playing both sides—that’s the part you didn’t know. Infiltrating the Shadow Syndicate for the RICO case, that part you did.”
Playing both…“So…what does that mean?”
He sighed. “It means that…that I—”
“Fed the syndicate information.”
He nodded.
“Like Martha Lintz?”
His mouth tightened. “Yes.”
Oh, she wanted to hit him—and herself. Why was she without her gun when she needed it? She backed away—
“But I didn’t know they would try and kill her!”
“Are you an idiot?”
His jaw tightened. “I tried to stop it—”
“You’re an accessory to her murder!”
He held up a hand. “Daphne, calm down—”
“I can’t believe I trusted you. That I…that I kissed you.”
He had both hands up now. “Daphne, I meant what I said—you can trust me. No matter—”
“Wait. If the cell phone is yours, what does that mean?” She stared at him, going hollow. “‘Time’s up’?” She took another step away, scanned the room. There, on the counter, a knife in the block. “Did you know they were going to hit the house?”
“No!” He swallowed then, lowered his voice. “No—that wasn’t—”
“What was the plan, Asher? For you to kill the witnesses?”
His mouth closed.
She might be ill, right here.
“I wasn’t going to do it, and that’s why they came after us. Me. Them—”
She just tried to breathe.
“Listen—playing both sides was the only way I could build my case. I had to get close enough to gather hard evidence—”
“No wonder they think you’re dirty.” She shook her head. “I should have listened—I defended you.” She ran her hand across her mouth. “I’m such a fool—”
“You’re not. Patterson knows the truth. He’s my handler. He recruited me for the operation. He’s known from the beginning. He’ll clear all this up.”
But she was back on the rain-slicked road, remembering. “So when I asked if you were compromised—”
“I wasn’t lying. I’m not compromised. I’m FBI. I’ve always been FBI.”
“No. You’ve always been compromised. You put my life—our witnesses’ lives—in danger.”
“For justice!”
“For a personal vendetta against the people who killed your sister!” She took a breath, schooled her voice. “You made me believe I could trust you.”
He swallowed.
“Actually. That’s on me. Because…shoot. I knew you were lying. I knew it.” She shook her head. “But I didn’t want to believe my own instincts.”
“Your instincts are wrong, Daphne. You can trust me. I would never let anything happen to you. Or our witnesses.”
She gave him a hard look and, aw, that’s when he grabbed his shirt, pulled it up.
“These are real. And so is my nearly dislocated shoulder and the fact I nearly got shot trying to stop Dmitri from killing an innocent bystander and—sheesh, Daphne. Think for one long second. Has anything I’ve done shown you that I’m not for you? That I’m not on your side?”
She held up the phone. “Yep.”
He looked like she’d hit him.
Yeah, well, she felt slapped too. “You should have told me from the beginning. I was your partner.”
“You made it pretty clear that wasn’t true. I provide intelligence. You run operations. That was your deal.”
She shook her head. “So much for providing intelligence.”
Something flashed in his eyes. He opened his mouth. And she very much expected something harsh—something to expose how desperately she’d failed.
The breach at the compound. The complete dismissal of all her rules.
Instead, his voice fell, turned soft. “I wanted to tell you,” Asher said. Voice rough. Desperate. “But the operation was classified. Deep cover. I couldn’t blow eighteen months of work. Couldn’t risk—”
“Risk what? Risk me knowing the truth? Risk me making informed decisions? Risk me actually being—”
“My wife?”
She laughed. “Get over yourself. It was a game.”
“No. Daphne, no. It started out that way, but—”
“Don’t.” She held up a hand. “We’re not talking about that—”
“Of course we are.” He took a step toward her. And heaven help her, she let him. What was wrong with her? “That was the one definitely real thing about this whole…mission.” He took a breath. “I care about you. I might even l—”
“Nope.” Now she did back away. “Nope. Don’t say—”
“I’m in love with you, Daph.”
“No, you’re not. No. I’m not…no…” She held up her hands. “This was just a game. An act. It meant nothing.”
And shoot, now her eyes filled.
She turned. Faced the window. Couldn’t look at him. The kitchen window reflected her pale face, the dark circles under her eyes. Beyond the glass, morning sun painted the mountains gold. Beautiful. Peaceful.
A lie.
She folded her arms across herself. Drew in a breath. “When Dmitri attacked us at the safe house,” Daphne said quietly, “he said, ‘You chose wrong.’ What did he mean?”
Silence behind her.
She finally turned.
Asher just stood there. “He might have known then who I was,” Asher said. “I couldn’t tell for sure. But if he did, he knew I’d chosen to protect you instead of eliminating the witnesses. Knew I’d chosen sides.”
She stared at him. Oh, she wanted to believe him. How pathetic was that? Her voice softened. “How long were you planning to keep lying? How long before you told me the truth?”
“I was going to tell you last night. That’s why I came downstairs. I was going to show you the evidence. Explain everything.”
“But you didn’t.”
“Roger and Destiny—”
“Convenient.”