Chapter 18
Ihead into the canteen and quickly spot Maia, Ember, and Remi.
Remi sees me first and waves me over. Grabbing some food, I make my way over to them and plop myself down at their table.
They look like they’ve already finished but show no signs of leaving while I dig in.
“How were combat drills?” Ember asks and I roll my eyes at her smirk.
Since I’m new here, I had to take the first-year class with all the younger groups to earn some points so I can pass this year.
Not that I honestly give a shit about passing but I don’t want my cover blown, so I’ll stick out the monotonous basic drills and play along.
At least until after I go to the Hollow.
“I only have another couple of weeks before I’m done,” I tell her.
She opens her mouth to reply, a glint of mischief in her eyes when something over my shoulder grabs her attention.
Malakai, Theon, Knox and Cyrus walk around me as they move to the table on our right. One glare from Malakai and the men sitting there duck their heads and leave.
The girls freeze, their gaze flicking between me and them.
“Do you need us to stay?” Remi asks and I chance a glance at the guys only to find all their eyes are on me, waiting for a reply.
I roll my eyes at them before glancing back at the girls. “I’m fine. You go ahead; I’ll follow you soon.”
“You sure?” Maia asks while narrowing her eyes on the guys.
I smile. “Positive.”
She nods her head and gives the guys a warning look, making me laugh before heading out with the others.
I glance over at the guys and their eyes soften. I quickly realize I’m still smiling and drop it before focusing back on my food.
They quickly move to my table with Knox and Malakai taking the seats across from me and Theon and Cyrus moving to each of my sides.
I try to ignore them and focus on my food but the fries and salad I quickly grabbed are looking less appealing by the minute.
I catch Knox’s frown as he stares down at my plate.
“How about I grab you some real food?” he says, his frown deepening the longer he stares. Instead of wasting my breath on him, I throw a chip at his face.
Of course, the dick catches with his mouth and winks at me while giving me a devastating grin. And for a split second it’s as if nothing happened and everything is normal.
But the churning in my stomach at their nearness reminds it’s not.
I’m about to get up and leave when Knox asks me what I’m doing after this.
“I’m busy,” I tell him and them. Technically I am. I still have training and classes. Something they should also have.
I doubt Levington would just allow them to do whatever the hell they wanted. I’m sure they don’t follow the rules, but they had to be doing something.
“Shouldn’t you have training and classes? I’m guessing Levington doesn’t allow you all to just wander around the academy doing nothing,” I ask but their expressions immediately grow hard and guarded, and they share a hesitant look between them.
“We’re over in the senior camp now,” Cyrus replies.
The academy was huge. Far larger than even the Shadow Academy. I have only seen parts of it while staying in the female dorms and the main building and exploring the forest a little.
“Senior camp?” I ask.
“It’s past the training field behind a large dense wall of forest,” Knox answers.
So that’s where they’ve been this entire month. Training in a camp with an older group of men and women.
Instead of it bringing me some reassurance of any kind, I just feel hurt and angry when I probably shouldn’t.
They’re more trained than I am and are definitely more skilled. Of course they’re going to train with those that have more experience.
But my heart doesn’t want to listen to logic. It only hears that they went out of their way to avoid me. Even choosing to go to another camp so they didn’t have to cross my path.
I clear my face of emotion and ignore them as I take my tray and dispose of it before making my way out of the canteen.
But they follow me like my own personal stalkers.
“Sena, talk to us,” Knox pleads but I stay silent, too mad and hurt and afraid of what I’ll say to them. I head toward the female dorm building and hope they finally take a hint and leave.
“Sena…” Cyrus starts, and I realize they’re not going to leave without me saying something.
I pause but keep my back to them. “I’m tired,” I tell them, my voice hollow. “I’m going to my room. Don’t follow me. Please.” My voice breaks and I get moving inside.
I don’t feel them follow me but after a minute, I chance a glance and peek over my shoulder, relief hitting me with I find they’ve already left.
I turn and start to make my way up to my room when I realize I’m just going to end up pacing the length of it trying to get rid of the whirlwind of conflicting emotions rushing through me.
Taking a quick detour, I make sure none of the guys are around and all my blocks are in place before heading back outside.
I take the path around the back of the buildings to try and avoid coming across anyone and make my way toward the ocean.
Something about water has always calmed my mind and body. And with all the pain, sadness, frustration and anger rushing through me right now, I need something to help calm me down.
I sit down on the sand and stare out at the ocean watching the sound of the waves slowly move toward me. I try to empty my mind, to think of nothing but the soft lull of waves moving toward me. To try to feel the peace it usually brings me and shove every thought, doubt and fear away.
But the longer I try to concentrate, the harder it is to shove the guys to the back of my mind.
My head tilts up to the sky and I blink against the sting in my eyes as I attempt to stop the tears from falling.
Don’t cry, damn it! It’s not worth it. No one is worth your tears. Not even the four men who already seem to own you, mind, body and soul.
My little pep talk to myself does nothing to make me feel better, it only makes me feel worse.
Energy bubbles up inside me and I stand, needing to run or move, anything to get rid of the feeling building up inside me. But as soon as I stand up, the energy sweeps over my skin and every hair on my arms stands up.
What the…
The wind whips around me as the energy grows. Without warning, my wings spring out of my back and spread out, curling around me as if shielding me from everything.
I try to move them, to pull them back in, but a thrum of energy inside my chest pulses and stops me.
The energy pulses again and my eyes close on their own as light beams from behind my lids.
I’m no longer on the beach, but in a room made from light on one side and shadows on the other. Standing in the middle of it, I’m trying to figure out how I ended up here when I appear in front of myself with my wings spread out wide behind me.
It’s like looking into a mirror but I know she… I mean me is there. Her eyes start to glow with a gold shimmer around the iris, and I realize I’m not staring at me. Or at least the version I know.
“Who are you?” I ask and she tilts her head as she watches me, her movements more robotic but confident.
“I’m you, Sena. Your Alita side,” she says making me freeze. I didn’t realize Alita had another side.
“We don’t,” she says answering my thoughts. “But you and me are different. We were never supposed to be like this.”
“Like this?” I ask feeling nothing but confused.
“Split,” she answers and stares at the shadow side before looking to the white and I realize that she means literally. She’s my Alita side and we’re not supposed to be like this.
Shock splinters through me. “Then why are we?”
There’s no shock or fear or worry on her face. Just a calm resolute full of knowing that’s a little unnerving.
“When the Variant switched our body, it was done in haste. Our wings had only formed and when you switched bodies, I was not able to follow.”
The glow in her eyes dims. “All these years, I’ve been trapped in a body with the wrong soul,” she says making me feel nothing but pain for her… and me.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her, not knowing what else to say.
“We were never meant to be split. We need to become one,” she says as she takes a step closer to me.
Fear slithers down my spine and I move a step back. “What does that mean? What will happen to us?”
“We will become whole,” she says as she tilts her head again, giving me an eerie look.
“Once we merge you will be able to access the knowledge and skills I have. That all royal Alita have. It is passed down through our maternal royal line. Over time you will learn how to access it and call on it when needed.”
I think back to when I had out-of-body experiences, and shock splinters through me when I realize it was her. My Alita. She took over and saved me… multiple times.
She knew fighting moves I never learned. Moved with a confidence only one with years of experience should and wielded a sword like it was nothing.
“Is that how you’ve been… I mean how I’ve been able to use skills I’ve never used before? And access powers I never realized I had?”
She nods. “You should have always had that ability but the switch changed everything.”
She waits patiently, watching me with her glowy eyes and cool gaze and I start to wonder if I will be the same after we merge, or will I be more like her?
“What happens if we don’t merge?” I ask.
Her brows furrow and her gold eyes dim once more. “We will never be able to help those we love. We will never be powerful enough to save those that will not survive without us. And eventually our spilt power will become unstable, and it will destroy us both.”
My stomach drops as fear and shock coils around me. Her words hit hard making me realize there is no choice here.
We either merge or die.
And I wasn’t about to give up on this life no matter how damn hard it was.
With my choice already made for me, I steel myself and take a step forward so I’m standing right in front of her. “How do we become one?”
This close to her, I almost see her eyes soften.
“Open your heart. Don’t be afraid of what you’re capable of. And when the time is right, we will be one.”
I frown. “We can’t do it now?”
She shakes her head. “It will take time. It can’t be rushed. We must start small. For now, call on our sword and our power. Reach down and feel me. Feel our strength.”
I reach down inside me and feel the energy that’s circling around us. I picture the sword of light and remember how it felt in my hand. How powerful I felt holding it and wielding it.
As if on instinct, I stretch out my hand and feel the energy swirling around it. Seconds later the hilt of the sword appears in my palm and slowly builds until I’m holding a complete sword in my hand.
“Can you feel it?” My Alita side asks. “Feel our power and strength? Can you sense our knowledge and skills?”
“I feel it.” The energy thrums between my hand and body making me feel stronger. Unstoppable.
I know without thought or question, I can strike down any opponent that gets in my way. No matter their skill.
“Now reach out and take it. It’s yours. It ours,” she says, as I try to accept this wholeheartedly. Accept that she is a part of me and that we belong as one.
The energy moves from my body to the sword and back again, over and over, slowly blending and fusing, building and expanding until finally instinct tells me to release it, and I do.
The sword disappears in my hand and with just the thought of holding that power inside me, it reappears once more.
I try to reach for the knowledge she spoke of. Of the skills I have yet to see and know. I search and search until finally I sense something in the back of my mind and brush up against it.
Images slam into my brain, making me wince. Too many to make sense of. They’re not clear yet, still blurry and out of reach. But the moment I see it, I know exactly what it is. The knowledge my Alita spoke of. It’s all there waiting to be unlocked and explored. I just have to figure out how.
Just as I’m about to pull back something calls to me, a dark energy that swells up from somewhere far away. More images flood my brain of a place so dark and cold. Of horrific creatures and vicious monsters. Of death, destruction and mayhem.
A shriek calls out begging for help, pleading to end their pain and suffering. The energy feels familiar but dark. But it’s that familiarity that draws me to it.
The shrieking stops as soon as I’m near, but the dark energy quickly snaps out and coils around me, dragging me closer as voices scream and echo around me.
A woman with long dark hair appears, her hands covering her face as she rocks back and forth on her knees. I step forward to reach out to her when her head snaps up and a horrific white face stares back at me with a wide mouth, sharp pinpoint teeth and black lips.
“You will not kill me,” she screams. “I will not die.”
I take a step back from her when her face changes. Her eyes become a soft brown, color seeps into her face and cheeks and her mouth and teeth become normal.
She glances up and spots me and gives me look of complete devastation and sadness. “Save me. Save me. Save me,” she begs.
“Who are you?” I ask but she shakes her head and reaches a trembling hand out toward me.
“Kill me. Kill me. Kill me,” she chants, her eyes begging and pleading with me.
“Let me help you,” I tell her as I take a step forward, but she shrinks back from my touch.
Another loud screech of pain sounds out around me and her face morphs into something horrific once more.
Before I get a chance to react, I feel a tug in the center of my stomach just before I’m yanked back from the dark energy and surrounded by my own once more. Warmth quickly fills me as I blink to find my Alita watching me.
“Who is she?” I ask while trying to figure out what the hell just happened.
“The heart of the Hollow,” she answers and everything inside me freezes.
Levington’s words float across my mind, reminding me of his plan and the heart stone.
“Levington said the Hollow was created by a dark sacrifice. Was she the sacrifice?” I ask and she nods.
Ice floods my veins. “She’s the heart stone, isn’t she?” I ask and she nods once more.
“Only we can truly end this and give her peace. She’s one of us.” She gives me a grave look, and my eyes widen when I finally realize why my instinct is guiding to go the Hollow.
She was once an Alita. A royal Alita that is now tormented and tainted into something dark.
And once I make it to the Hollow, I’m going to have to kill her.