Chapter 5
Chloe
There is a certain feeling that comes over you when life is going so well that you almost feel like you’re floating. That’s how I feel these days. Happy. Light. Like everything is finally falling into place.
My life hasn’t had this kind of sunshine in it before Kazimir came along. It feels like I spent my entire life living in shades of gray, black and white, never expecting anything different. Then he came along, and suddenly, there is color everywhere.
I wake up looking forward to the day. I eat my breakfast with relish. Even the most ordinary things feel different now. It’s almost like I’m a new person. Except I’m not. I’m still Chloe. The same woman who has always been here. The only difference is that Kazimir is now part of my life.
And as wonderful as that feels, sometimes it scares me. Because I’ve never had anything permanent. I never knew my parents. They didn’t want me, and I grew up in an orphanage before being moved through several foster homes.
The only constant person I’ve ever had is Bea. We met in college, and somehow, she became my family. She’s the only real friend I’ve ever had. I’ve never been good at letting people in. Maybe because somewhere deep down, I’ve always expected them to leave.
And now there’s Kazimir. For the first time, I have someone who comes back. Someone who calls. Someone who checks on me. Someone who knows what I like and remembers the little things. And that’s terrifying. Because what if he wakes up tomorrow and decides he doesn’t want this anymore?
What if he leaves? What if I lose him the same way I’ve lost everyone else?
What if, after finally letting myself believe that I can have something good, it all comes crashing down?
Sometimes those thoughts creep in when I’m lying beside him at night.
I hate that they do. Because life with Kazimir has been fucking fantastic.
We’ve been together for a little over two months now, and every day somehow feels better than the last. He takes me on dates.
He spends time with me. He listens to me talk about the most insignificant things as though they’re important.
And the chemistry between us? Mind-blowing doesn’t even begin to cover it.
Last night by the time I get home from work, Kazimir is already waiting for me in my apartment, he has a spare key now. And has dinner waiting. And then I discover he’s run me a bath. After a twelve-hour shift, I nearly cry when I see it.
He helps me get settled, takes care of me in that quiet, attentive way of his, and then we eat dinner together in front of some terrible television show, while I tell him about my day.
By the end of the night, I’m so relaxed I can barely keep my eyes open. The last thing I remember is his arms lifting me and carrying me to the bedroom.
There is something about Kazimir that I still don’t understand.
I know what he tells me. I know he owns a small chain of laundromats, and apparently that’s the business that keeps him busy most of the time.
But sometimes, there’s this feeling I get from him.
A vibe. Like there’s something underneath everything he has told me.
Something darker. Something dangerous that he isn’t telling me.
Because how do I explain a regular businessman being chased by men pretending to be police officers? How do I explain him breaking into my apartment with a knife wound? I know he’s involved in something dangerous. I just don’t ask. Maybe that’s cowardly. Maybe I’m being stupid.
But a part of me doesn’t want to know. Because what if I find out the truth and it changes everything? What if whatever he’s hiding is something I can’t accept? What if it brings all of this to an end? I don’t want it to end. Call me pathetic. I know. But I like what we have.
So whenever that nagging question creeps into my mind, I push it away.
I focus on the good instead. The way he looks at me.
The way he takes care of me. The way he makes me feel like I’m the only woman in the world when we’re together.
And then sometimes another thought creeps in.
What if I’m more invested than he is? What if I’m falling too deeply while he’s only enjoying whatever this is?
The thought scares me because I’m falling deeply in love with Kazimir, and he isn’t making it any easier with the way he treats me.
“Hey lover girl” Bea’s voice pulls me from my thoughts.
I look up to see her walking into the nurses’ office with a huge bouquet in her arms. She holds it out to me. “Another flower delivery for you.”
I smile immediately. Kazimir sends me flowers at least once a week. I take the bouquet from Bea and inhale deeply. Lilies. My favorite.
“He really has you spoiled,” Bea says. “You have a hot boyfriend who sends you flowers, listens to you, and practically worships the ground you walk on. How does it feel to be God’s favorite?”
My cheeks warm. “Stop.”
“I’m just saying. Some of us are struggling out here.”
I shake my head, smiling as I look down at the flowers. Maybe I need to stop trying to predict how this ends and just enjoy what I have right now.
That evening, I’m supposed to meet Kazimir for a movie. We’ve barely seen all week, so I’m already looking forward to it when I get home. Then my phone buzzes. I pick it up, expecting a message telling me he’s on his way.
Instead: I’m sorry, baby. I won’t be able to make the movie tonight. Something came up.
I stare at the message. Something came up.
For some reason, an uneasy feeling settles in my stomach.
Kazimir
The pathetic fool hanging in front of me looks like he’s been run over by a truck. His face is swollen and bloodied, his breathing uneven as he struggles to keep his head up. I stare at him without feeling a damn thing.
“I hate being kept away from my girlfriend, Dan. And right now, being here with you is keeping me away from her.”
His eyes flicker toward me. “I’m…sorry.”
I step closer. “So let’s save us both the time. I’m going to ask you a question, and you’re going to give me the answer I need. We make this quick, and this ends. And I’ll make sure your family doesn’t suffer because of your choices.”
His lips tremble. “Please…”
I snap my fingers, and Lev immediately pulls his phone from his pocket. He taps the screen and holds it out. The man’s eyes widen. His wife, and sons. All bound and terrified.
His entire body jerks against the restraints. “Please! Don’t hurt them! Please!”
Lev takes the phone back. “I wouldn’t hurt them. I’m not heartless.”
I step closer. “In fact, I wouldn’t even hurt you if you’d kept your loyalty where it belonged. But no, you decided to betray me.”
My expression hardens. “And there is one thing I hate more than almost anything else.” I lean toward him. “Betrayal. So let’s make this easy. Tell me who sent you to intercept that shipment and kill my soldiers.”
“Please…”
I shake my head. “The men you killed weren’t strangers, Dan. They were trusted men. Men with wives, children, families waiting for them to come home. Just like you. Some of them were your friends. And you turned on them because someone put money in your hand.”
He closes his eyes, regret washing all over him. But it’s too late for that.
“Now I’m the one who has to go to their families. I have to look their wives in the eyes and explain why their husbands aren’t coming home. I have to tell their children why their fathers won’t walk through the door ever again.”
I stare directly into his eyes. “Because you betrayed them.”
“Please. It wasn’t my intention.”
“Who are you working with?” I already know the answer. I just need him to confirm it.
His lips part. “Vadim.”
So he’s infiltrated my own men. That’s worse than an attack from the outside. Anyone can come after me. But when one of your own turns against you, that’s when the real danger begins.
“Do you know where Vadim is?”
The man nods. He gives me the location where he always met with Vadim, and everything he knows about his operation. When he’s finished, I nod.
“Good.”
I pull my gun and shoot him between the eyes. His body goes limp. I turn to Lev.
“Let his family go.”
Lev nods. “What are we going to do? Vadim is getting stronger.”
“Send men to the location he gave us.”
Lev nods, and adds, “What if he isn’t there?”
“I doubt he will. But you can’t be too sure. Keep me updated.”
Lev heads out. I check the time, past midnight. Chloe should be asleep by now. I haven’t seen her in over a week. We talk on the phone. But it’s not the same. A week feels like an eternity when it comes to Chloe.
So I drive to her apartment. When I arrive, I get out and nod at the men stationed outside the building. They understand, now that I’m here, they can leave. I look up at the building. I hate this place. It’s too exposed. Too many entrances. Chloe deserves somewhere safer.
I have several apartments that would be far more secure than this one. But we’re not there yet. I don’t want to scare her. She already knows I’m not telling her everything. Yes, I own the laundromat I told her about. But it’s just nowhere near the whole truth. It’s one tiny piece of my business.
Every day, I think about telling her. Every day, I stop myself.
Because she’s so innocent. So untouched by my world.
And I don’t want to ruin what we have. What if she runs?
What if she decides she doesn’t want a man like me?
I can handle almost anything. But the thought of losing Chloe feels like dying.
I pull out the key she gave me and let myself in.
I check every room, making sure everything is secure before heading to her bedroom.
My chest loosens the moment I see her. She’s asleep.
I quietly undress and set my gun beside the nightstand, making sure it’s hidden from view.
She doesn’t need to wake up to the sight of it.