Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
KILLIAN
The fire crackled and popped up into the starry night, the flames the only source of heat, every breath a pillow of icy vapor from my lungs. While most of the group huddled close to the bonfire, eating the minimal dinner we had and trying to stay warm, I stood back, my blood boiling.
We had driven most of the day, getting as far from Budapest as possible.
The back roads might not have been guarded by troops yet, but they took much longer, especially with the rough roads and beat-up motorcycles.
Several of them broke down, needing to be fixed along the way.
Thanks to Wesley’s mechanical skills and his redheaded assistant, we made it to this forest at the border of Hungary and Ukraine by dusk.
I could even hear the bitterness in that statement in my own ears.
A laugh, which was light and husky at the same time, tinkled through the air. The sound wrapped around my dick. It heaved fury through my veins and locked my fingers into fists, turning my head to the very pair I was thinking of.
The fire danced off her silhouette, licking at her hair as if the flames thought they belonged there. She turned her head to Wesley, her fingers grazing his hand, her head tipping back, exposing more of her neck as she laughed.
“Faszkalap.” Dick hat. My teeth clamped together and my chest pounded, feeling like it was punched every time she reached over and touched him.
Watching her climb on the bike behind him, her thighs clamping around his all day .
. . I never wanted to kill anyone more in my life .
. . because he was an asshole, not because I liked her.
I mean, she was smart, funny, strong, and fucking stunning, but she drove me insane.
She pushed back on everything. They were actually perfect for each other. Both annoying.
Plus, in my position and being who I was—a fae lord—I could never be with a human. Especially not an actress or ex-prostitute. It wasn’t done. We could never be together, even if it was allowed. She was human. She’d grow old and die, and I wouldn’t do that to myself.
What the hell I’m I talking about? I shook my head. Why was I finding reasons not to be with her when I didn’t want to be with her?
Wesley let out a chuckle, leaning in closer to her. He reached up, brushing a crumb off her lip.
A deep growl shook through my spine.
“Better make your move, my liege.” An elbow knocked into my side, Birdie saddling up next to me, an amused smirk on her face, her gaze on Wesley and Rosie. “Wesley’s a really good kisser and great in bed . . .”
My head jerked to her, an eyebrow raised.
She shrugged one shoulder. “It was a long, long time ago after a night we almost died. But he’s got game.”
I turned my head away from her, lifting my chin.
“I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“Please.” Birdie rolled her eyes. “Your dick energy for her? It’s off the charts. You stare at her all the time. When you guys are near each other, the room about explodes.”
“You are seeing things. We don’t even like each other.”
Her lips pinned together in a smirk. “Sure.”
I wagged my head. “You’re wrong.”
“I’m never wrong about two people wanting to fuck.”
“Does that count for last night too?” I replied evenly back.
She sucked in sharply, shuffling her weight. “I was taking one for the team. He needed to calm the fuck down. He was being a dick, and I needed to be dicked.”
“Mmm-hmmm.”
“Nothing is going on between us. It was just sex. It was a one-time deal.” She folded her arms. Her cheeks blushed, her teeth nipping at her bottom lip as if she was recalling every moment with Caden.
“Sure.” I used the same mocking tone back on her. Birdie shot me a glare.
“Well, take my advice. If you want her, go for it. You never know. We might all die tomorrow.” She nudged me again.
“Wesley is already stepping up, so you better decide now, lord.” Birdie strolled away.
I watched her walk behind where Caden sat, knocking the back of his head.
He jerked around, his anger already firing up to the surface.
She flicked her head toward the forest we were camping in, then sauntered into it.
Caden sat long enough I thought he wasn’t going to respond to Birdie’s clear invitation, which broke her one-time deal claim, but he rose, muttering something about taking a piss, and wandered in the same direction as her.
They weren’t fooling anyone but themselves.
Well after she was gone, Birdie’s words still rang in my head, stirring up feelings I never wanted to feel again. Love wasn’t ideal for leaders, and it certainly wasn’t meant for me. I had mistresses, not lovers, and Rosie was too close in the circle to just fuck and walk away from.
The thought of treating her like a prostitute, the very thing she was forced to be because of her ex-husband, made me sick. Screwing her and walking away? No.
I just would stay away.
Scouring my face with raw frustration, another grumble whistled through my chest, hating how sick I felt at letting Wesley have her.
I felt off.
My magic still hadn’t fully come back since my time in prison.
I couldn’t sleep, and tension crawled over me like bugs.
Seeing my city fall to Sonya was harder than I’d ever let on.
I feared I would never get my reign back, that I had been beaten for good.
Budapest was now a dictatorship. It made me face how little I had done before, how content I was with the status quo.
You don’t realize what you have until it’s gone.
All I wanted was another chance to make Hungary the free and beautiful country it once was.
To open parks, restaurants, and theaters again, to have no divide between fae and humans.
Sonya made me see I was a leader before, but not a good one.
My ego and insecurity about my past made me blind.
Too satisfied with the title and not the actual job.
Now I wanted nothing more than to fight for my city, for the people. To deserve another chance to lead this country.
My gaze drifted back up. Wesley’s lips grazed her ear, whispering something. His mouth was only an inch away from hers, his gaze going to her lips, his head leaning in to kiss her.
Logic played no part, my body reacting on pure impulse as I stomped to her, my hand wrapping around her bicep. “I need to speak to you for a moment,” I grunted.
“What the fuck?” Wesley jolted at my sudden intrusion. I could already feel chagrin heating under my skin, my actions shocking even me, but I didn’t give myself time to think about it, yanking Rosie to her feet.
“Now.” I dragged her with me.
“Killian!” she sputtered, her feet moving to keep up with me. “What the hell are you doing?”
I didn’t have a fucking clue. Reason and sanity were trying to tap in, but the storm of my wrath kept them at bay. I marched us around the bikes and into the crest of trees away from the group, only the moonlight slipping through the branches.
“Killian. Stop.” She tugged at my grip.
Twisting her around, I pushed her up against the tree, forcing her to inhale roughly.
“Stay the fuck away from him.”
“What?” Her blue eyes sharpened, lowering on me. “No.”
I moved in closer, pressing her back harder into the bark.
“Yes.”
“Why?” She lifted her head, challenging me. There was not an ounce of fear in her face, and the demented part of me wanted to change that. To make her understand who she was dealing with. To obey.
Almost all fae feared me.
“Because,” I snarled.
“Jealous, my lord?” Her accent slipped around my cock like a noose. My jaw slammed shut to stop a groan from spilling out of my throat.
“Not at all.” The lie was like an arrow. It was the same sensation I had for another girl, her heart set on another man. One I spent years trying to beat. To become everything he was and more.
I swore I would never feel that again. Never feel the consuming jealousy, anger, and hurt. I promised myself I would never love again. My only goal was wealth and power. I would never be that miserable fool again.
Centuries passed, and no one conjured any genuine emotion from me, no matter how hard they tried. I was dead inside. I enjoyed Brexley and was attracted to her, but felt no urge to fight for her, snap the neck of a guy just for being near her. Touching her.
Now life sparked in my chest. The feel of her body pressing into mine spiraled terror through me.
I grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at me.
“I said stay the hell away from him.” Every word was a threat, my glamour dripping off me, weighing on her like a command.
Her mouth parted, her eyes glossed over, and her breasts rubbed against my chest with every breath.
“Screw you,” She spat, ripping through my power, fighting it.
I burned with humiliation at my weakness. My magic was so feeble a simple human could resist it.
My nose flared, my grip on her tightening, my body ramming hers back into the tree. “Is that what you want, Rosie?” I dragged my nose up her neck, feeling her shiver under me. My cock, hard against her stomach, dug into her skin. “Or are you, Nina? Do you know who you are anymore?”
She struggled for a moment, my hold locking her in place. “Like you should talk. Who are you, Killian? Are you the fae leader or a penniless pirate, in love with a girl who didn’t love you back?”
“Shut up.”
“You don’t think I know how that feels? I thought my husband was my world until he ripped it from me, breaking me into pieces and then making me believe it was my fault.
He turned me into a whore, not the one at Kitty’s, but the one he took everything from, leaving a trinket for me instead of love. ”
My fingers dug deeper into her skin. I fought the urge to track him down and kill him in the most painful way possible.
“You think love is weakness. I believe it is strength.” Her hands slid up to my hips, her touch causing my breath to falter.
“I still want someone who loves me with everything in his soul. I still want to have babies, a home, a career, family. I blamed Vincente for so long, but it was me who was blocking my own happiness. Giving him too much power. I won’t let him have that control over me ever again.
” Her fingers trailed up to my arms, pulling the one away from her face.
“I won’t let any man.” Her expression tightened, her voice dropping.
“So, either you give me a reason right now or get the hell out of my way and don’t ever intervene in my life again. ”
Terror tore through my chest, forcing back the words telling her to stay with me, that I wanted her. Nothing would come out.
Nothing.
Her head turned to the side, her lids fluttering, trying to hide the hurt.
“That’s what I thought,” she snapped, shoving me back. She pushed past me, marching toward the campsite. I knew she was serious. If she walked away, there was nothing left for me.
A deep panic coursed through me. The idea of letting her walk away screamed in my soul. Something beyond possessiveness nipped at my subconscious, but I didn’t have time to think about it. Once again, all sanity left my body, the urge plunging over me like a spell.
“No.” The word barely exited my mouth as I grabbed her arm, yanking her body back into mine. My hands clasped her face, my mouth slamming down on hers.
Holy shit.
The moment my lips touched her, it was like an electric shock to the system, my entire body jolting with the energy, feeling it throb through my dick, down to my soul.
“Killian.” A groan broke from her lips like she felt the same things, turning my mind into static.
“Say my name again.” I was frantic and needy.
“Killian . . .” She moaned my name, making me lose every thread of sense.
“Fuck.” Grabbing her hips, I lifted her up, her legs wrapping around me. I slammed her back into the tree, her figure curving and rubbing against mine, her hands raking through my hair as she consumed me. Her tongue licked mine, sucking on it until stars popped behind my lids.
Everything snapped.
I was no longer the fae leader who sat with kings and nobles, wined and dined with the elite, or went to the theater and sipped on brandy.
I was the Killian who, at the age of four, could only fill his belly if he was able to catch his own prey. I was so starved that I’d tear into the raw animal flesh, warm blood dripping down my chin, devouring what I had been deprived of for so long.
Hungry. Raw. Desperate. Merciless.
And Rosie gave it back as if she had no control either, her nails tearing at my clothes, her hips rolling into mine, needy and frantic.
There was no thought except the need to be inside her. My mouth devouring hers, I yanked at her pants, unzipping them enough to slide my hand inside.
She was dripping wet and pulsing with need. I moaned as I slipped into her.
A noise bubbled up her throat. “Oh gods.” Her mouth parted as I pushed inside her, stroking her pussy, making her claw at my back.
“Bloody hell,” she groaned. “How does that feel so good?” I know she didn’t mean it as an insult.
The woman had a lot of sex, probably growing numb to the average act.
This was elementary to her, but her body pumped against my fingers desperately. “Oh gods . . . Killian.”
Hearing my name made me almost come in my pants, my mouth taking hers again with a ferocity I had never felt before. I needed to claim. To mark. To own.
“Rosie?” Wesley’s voice flittered through the trees, freezing us in place. “Hey, Rose . . . where you at?” The urge to kill him, calling her Rose like they were intimate, gurgled up my throat.
He stepped into the forest, only yards from us.
“Shit,” she whispered. Her legs loosened from me, and she dropped to the ground, her eyes wide with panic as she zipped her pants and straightened her clothes.
“I’m coming.”
I blinked, seeing her trying to hide all signs of what we were doing out here.
“What the hell are you doing?” Wesley’s voice tightened, his senses probably picking up on more than he was ready to admit.
“Nothing.” Her voice pitched higher. “Just talking. I’m ready for that drink now. Come on.” She strolled over to Wesley, motioning for him to follow her out, but he didn’t move, his eyes locked with mine. Anger bristled along his jaw line.
He knew. At least he knew it was more than talking.
Part of me wanted to smirk and taunt him, but seeing the fear in her eyes, the worry of him finding out, snapped everything back to reality.
What the fuck had I just done? With her? A human.
The weakness of losing control, letting some woman once again have that power when she clearly didn’t feel the same, unsettled me. But only for a moment.
I was no one’s fool.
I would take her advice; I would never let another have control over me again.
Placing my fingers in my mouth, I sucked off her taste and strolled by them, my arm brushing hers. “She was right. It was nothing.”