Chapter 34
Chapter Thirty-Four
brEXLEY
Dawn was only hours off, yet my eyes had only closed for maybe twenty minutes.
I stared off into the darkness, feeling the pull of the nectar calling me.
The power in it was growing, gaining more control over itself as if it was mimicking me.
If I grew stronger and more dominant over my own magic, it did too.
A reflection. Learning. Studying. A life of its own.
It still was part of me, and I knew it had no ill intent, though that didn’t mean it wasn’t capable of horrendous things. I had seen it too many times.
It carried dark magic, the power of a cruel queen, yet it was used to protect an infant. There was nothing purer and more untainted than an innocent child.
A balance
Yin and yang.
One could not exist without the other.
My own magic was a lot, but still just a drop in the bucket from what that object held. It was a danger to all. Even me. Yet, the need to run down the hall and retrieve it from Killian wrestled through my muscles, shifting my legs and arms with restlessness.
Tad had given it to Killian to protect.
Pure raw possessiveness curdled in my stomach, beating my chest with envy and anger.
“You have the strength to fight it. Protect it with your life.”
I wasn’t worthy or strong enough.
Time was a pitiless teacher. And we were gluttonous students. We gobbled it up, wasted it, wished it away, and then got angry when it ran out, stomping our feet like children, declaring someone else to blame. Demanding we were owed more.
I wished I had trained harder and gotten more control over myself.
Maybe then I would have the strength to work with the nectar.
But time did not work like a fairytale. So many books and movies I had read and seen had everything fall into place at the exact moment.
The happy ending. The hero was ready for the final battle and won.
Life was not like that. It didn’t cater to you, to the outcome you wanted. I was not ready for war, but war was ready for me.
“Did I not wear you out enough, Kovacs?” A deep gravelly voice muttered in my ear, an arm wrapping around my middle, yanking me back into his naked body, tucking me into him, letting me feel he was more than ready to try again.
He understood and comforted me without a word after I checked on Esmeralda and Olek, both sleeping soundly as the healers moved around them, attending to their burns and other wounds.
Tad might be using Esmeralda, but she still had a human body that could be killed easily. She needed rest and time to heal.
My gaze had gone across the room to Hanna, Birdie, Olek, and Esmeralda. Shot, burned, and one of them a victim of the pills changing her DNA. In some way, it all came back to me. The weight of my guilt was pushing down on me, making it hard to remember why this was worth it.
“It’s not on you, Kovacs.” I had felt his shadow even before the real man entered the room. His huge frame stood behind me without touching me, but his shade slipped around me, running over my shoulders like a massage.
“Yes, it is.” I didn’t have the energy to link back.
“This would be happening with or without you. This is on Istvan. And don’t for a moment forget you are also a victim of this. Caden, you, me, Rosie . . . Rebeka. And thousands more.”
My gaze went to the person cleaning Birdie’s healing wound.
Rebeka. The woman I practically grew up with was glamorous, elegant, and poised.
This woman was warm, relaxed, and grimy.
She was hands-on, her clothes covered in blood, her face pure of anything but her own beauty.
Not a doll or an armpiece. Rebeka looked alive.
Warwick’s hand cupped mine, tugging me to follow.
“Where are we going?” I muttered, taking one last look over my shoulder at my friends.
“Shower and bed.”
“I can’t sleep.”
“I know,” his shadow mumbled against my neck while he led me back up the stairs. “You don’t think I know you, Kovacs? What you’re feeling and thinking? You can watch them all night, hiding the fact that all you want is the nectar. To rip it out of Killian’s hands and take it back.”
Inhaling sharply, I realized how much Warwick could see. Understand. Feel.
“I’m gonna get you to sleep, even if I have to make you black out.” Warwick’s shade nipped at my ear, pressing into me from behind. “Gonna take two of us, I think.”
And fuck, he made good on that promise, using every surface between the shower and the bed. Both Warwick and his shadow took me so high I forgot anything but pleasure. His body gave me everything until my brain and body shut down.
At least for twenty minutes.
“Princess . . .?”
I tucked into him, fighting back the tears. “We’re not ready.” Though what I really meant was I wasn’t ready.
“No one ever is. War stories are told in ways to glamorize them. Made to be heroic and honorable by history. But they never are. I have been through too many to know. No one is ever ready. Even when they think they are. They’re horrific, cruel, violent, and most of the time not worth the death and destruction they cause.
” He brought both arms around me, encompassing me in his safe world.
“I used to think fighting for hope and dying was better than living and suffering.” He rolled me over onto my back, his aqua eyes burning through the dark, drilling into mine.
He settled between my legs, opening up my hips.
There was no warning or teasing. His thick cock pushed inside me, forcing a gasp from my lips.
“We were born in battle, Kovacs.” He pulled back, thrusting back in again, my entire body igniting with fire, my heels digging into his taut ass with a loud groan.
“Made from the blood and bones of war,” he growled, driving in with force.
“We’ve fucked, fought, and killed, rising from death.
Becoming it.” He grunted, keeping up the long, deep strokes, causing every muscle and nerve to tremble under him.
“Nectar or not, do not forget who you are. What we are together. And we fucking survive, Brexley . . .”
With my name on his lips, his deep thrusts burned through me, spinning my mind, every letter being carved into my bones like his speech was being engraved upon my soul. I felt my orgasm coming fast, his pace picking up, his teeth gritting as he clutched my jaw, forcing me to look at him.
“You are The Grey . . . and I am your Wolf.”
My spine arched, my pussy clenching down on him. His roar shook the walls, wind whipping through the room. A spark of lightning flickered as his hot cum filled me, his hips still driving in, making me come again.
“Warwick!” I screamed, my eyes slamming shut as images flashed through my mind—us, covered in gore, walking through a battlefield. Flames, debris, and bodies scattered all over, determination set on our faces, our hands locked together.
The Grey and The Wolf.
Then darkness took hold of me, my consciousness plucked from my body.
“Brexley Kovacs, the girl who challenges nature’s balance. Come with me.” The old raspy inhuman voice spoke, and I felt the book suck me into it. Spinning and rolling, I fell through the pages, and it spit me out in a familiar room.
“What?” I gazed around the clinic I had been in only hours earlier.
This time Birdie was awake. Caden sat in a chair next to her, his hands clasping hers.
Their voices were too low to hear what they were talking about, and their expressions didn’t give anything away.
But I knew Caden better than anyone; the relief in his eyes was obvious. Birdie was going to be all right.
Scorpion was with Hanna. She faced away from him, but her eyes were open, and she stared at the wall, acting like he wasn’t there.
Her hair was wet, like she had just taken a shower.
His damp head was bowed in hopelessness, though the moment I arrived, he glanced over his shoulder to where I was as if he could sense me.
Seeing nothing, his attention returned to Hanna, exhaustion and agony stenciled over his features.
Somehow I knew this was the current time, the book writing the story as we lived it.
“I asked it to bring you here.”
I jumped, spinning to see Tad standing next to Esmeralda’s bed. Solid and real. At least in here, he was more tangible than everyone else. He glowed with power, with light, love, and life.
“Tad.” I couldn’t help darting over to him, sighing at the feel of his arms hugging me back, the tickle of his long white hair on my face.
“Oh, it is good to really feel someone’s touch again.” He patted my back, pulling back with a smile. “I can feel the energy of touch through Esmeralda, but not the actual contact. It is her body experiencing it, not mine.”
That made sense. Peering around, I shook my head. “Why are we here? Why did the book pull me in?”
“Because I asked it to,” Tad replied, taking my hand in his as if he needed to absorb the sensation before it was gone again. “And it was kind enough to oblige me.” He motioned to Esmeralda. “I can’t go far. She needs me. Her body is very weak and getting here took a lot out of her.”
Pain crunched my brows as I stared down at the sleeping woman.
“Bet she regrets the day I walked into her life,” I puffed. “Lost her job, her family, her entire world. All because she was kind to me.”
“Kind?” Tad chuckled, peering down at her fondly.
“I guess she has her moments. You aren’t the only one who disrupted her life.
” He shook his head. “Don’t blame yourself.
It was me who drew them to you and you to them.
Esmeralda is very rare. Not many people are capable or have the strength for a Druid to take over their body.
To find someone else like her was unlikely.
I’m to blame for her situation.” He squeezed my hand, letting it drop.
“Though I think she would want it this way. She might complain, but I know firsthand what is inside her. She’s exactly where she wants to be.
No one, even me, can force that woman to do something she doesn’t want. ”
I snorted. “That’s true.”
“Though her part in this is done.”
“What?” A bolt of fear jumped up my throat. “She’s going to be okay, right? She’s not dying?”
“No, no. Esmeralda has many years left in her. She’s too stubborn to die, don’t you worry.
” Tad patted my hand. “Though her physical body is too weak to proceed in this war. What she did to get here, carrying Olek, carrying the nectar. Even if she wasn’t conscious for most of it, it has taken a toll on her body. She needs to rest and heal now.”
I nodded, agreeing. Esmeralda had done more than enough. As the thought rolled around in my head, my chin popped up, my eyes widening. “That means you too, right?”
Tad dipped his head in acknowledgment.
“But we need you. I need you,” I exclaimed, feeling panic bubble up.
“My dear, I might not be in the form you’ve gotten used to, but I will always be around. And the stronger you grow in your own powers, the more you will find. I have never left your side.”
Tears built up behind my lids. “But not now.” I choked. “I’m not ready. I don’t have enough control. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have given the nectar to Killian.”
“You might never have, my girl. It will always be part of you, a weakness you won’t ever be able to fight.”
“Killian does?”
“Yes, Killian has gained enough power to become the leader he was always meant to be. He no longer wants the nectar. He is the only one who can fight the draw to it.” Tad folded his arms in front of him.
“Though your uncle is a good man and has a good heart, he does not have that same conviction as Killian. Even Mykel knows deep down he would be weak against the call to it.”
“It has grown stronger, hasn’t it? I feel it. Like it’s growing too.”
“You and the nectar are too connected. Something I did not foresee was how it has copied you. The stronger you become, so does it.”
I let out a breath, relieved Tad saw the same thing I did, though it scared me.
“What does that mean?”
“I do not know. It only confirms the substance is far too dangerous to be out in the world. Especially around you.”
“But it’s part of me,” I lashed back.
“You cannot look at it with an impartial view. You do not see clearly when it comes to the nectar.” He shook his head.
“Look at how powerful you are on your own. You are a miracle. A phenomenon of nature. A marvel. Do not think that the nectar makes you whole. It does not. It will only turn you into something you are not.”
“So what? We destroy it?” The thought made my stomach turn.
“Can magic like that be destroyed?” He said it in such a way I knew it couldn’t. “The only way is to make it disappear. Hide it from even yourself.”
“What does that mean—”
My sentence was cut off as Esmeralda’s body flung up, her eyes glazed, her voice pitching like an alarm.
“THEY ARE HERE!”
I stiffened, my attention snapping to Tad. He jerked his head up like he was seeing and hearing something I couldn’t.
“They have come . . .” Panic widened his eyes.
“Who?”
“Go, Brexley!” He yelled as the book sucked me back, a cry flinging from my throat as it tossed me back into my body, my eyes bolting open to the room Warwick and I shared.
He sensed something the moment my lids flew up, feeling the alarm slam through my chest, terror stiffening my limbs. I vaulted out of bed, grabbing my clothes as gunfire ricocheted off the mountains and trees outside. The vibration of vehicles shot through my toes to my heart.
I knew who had come. What they were coming for.
Markos was bringing the war to us.