Chapter 28
They say that Erelith, Goddess of Lost Causes, was a woman once, that her husband beat her bloody every day.
Then, in the middle of one of her beatings, she gave up the meek and submissive woman she was and fought back.
Her pain had made her strong, and he could not overpower her as she thrust his face into the fire and laughed at his screams.
~Cedric Penrose, A Treatise on the Gods and Their Powers
Fiona
“What in Kaelith’s name did you do to her?” Darian says with a snarl as he looks at me. “Where are her clothes? Did you try to take her to bed? Is this what happens when you bring them into your chambers? I’ve heard the rumors.”
A man and woman sit at a table with a five-year-old girl.
“I think he’s found out about our deal. About his touch,” the man says in a hushed tone.
He’s handsome. My father. He has kind brown eyes under the flop of red hair.
Hidden behind the tension on his face are laugh lines.
He was a happy man. The kind of father that would make a little girl’s heart swell when she saw him come home each day.
Azric paces across the room. “I didn’t do a god’s damned thing, Uncle. I merely told her I thought her father had killed her parents.”
The woman says, “Then we must leave. Immediately. There’s no way he’ll leave her with us. He’ll find us, and he’ll kill us. He needs anyone with his touch.” Her eyes are even kinder. Her hands are worn, but there’s softness to them. Was she a healer? A cook? They’re both so young.
Darian looks at me and shakes his head slowly.
“He was her everything, Azric. You don’t know what that can do to a human.
Your mother… When she thought she lost her father, she broke.
Truly broke. If your father hadn’t been able to use their betrothal bond to save her, she’d have died from heartache. You’ve just done the same.”
“Tomorrow then. I thought we’d be happy here. I thought we could live in peace. I guess we’re never going to do that, are we?” The sadness in the man’s—my father’s—eyes is terrible. It’s almost as though he knows that fleeing won’t save them, like this meal might be their last together.
Azric growls and looks me in the eye, but I don’t see him. All I can see are the ghosts the Shadow Road showed me. “Wake up, Fiona.” He shakes me. Hard.
Darian pulls him away from me with another snarl. “That won’t work this time. You can’t force her to come back. You may be the Prince of Bones, but this time, you’re just as powerless as anyone else.”
The man stands up and walks around to the little girl. “Come here, Asha. Did you hear us?” Asha. That’s my name. Not Fiona. What are their names? My mother and father. Asha. Not Fiona.
“Then what are we supposed to do, Uncle? We can’t leave her like this. She can’t go back to your room like this. The others won’t accept a human in a coma as their teammate. She was already a liability in their eyes.”
The little girl hugs her father and runs her hand through his curly red hair before saying, “We have to leave again?” He had red hair like mine. How many times did we run? How many times did my parents try to hide from my father… from Rhaskar?
Darian looks me over. “Take her with you. Protect her. Get me tomorrow or if she wakes up. I don’t know what else to do. I’ll talk to Lee and Rhion in the meantime. Maybe we can talk to Maeve…”
“Yes,” he says with a smile, but there are tears on his cheek. “We have to leave in the morning.” He doesn’t want to run, but he’d do anything to protect her… protect me. He’s just weak. Powerless. A human.
“No. Not my mother. She cannot know anything.” Azric’s eyes blaze with power as he turns toward Darian. “Fiona and my mother are not the same. We will give her time before we involve my parents.”
The little girl just smiles. “That’s okay, Dada.
I like it when we leave. Can I take my doll?
” I was cute then. Soft. Weak. But adorable and so full of smiles.
I was happy. Not like I am now. No, I knew true love from parents who loved without reservation, without expectations.
I hadn’t been trying to gain their approval.
I didn’t have to prove myself to them. My very existence was a danger to them, and they uprooted their lives repeatedly to protect me. For what? For love.
Darian lets out an exasperated sigh. “Fine. For tonight. But if this lasts very long, we may need to ask her for help. She was human, so she might understand the way their emotions work better.”
He lets out a little chuckle and nods his head. “Of course. Emily would be so sad if you weren’t there to take care of her.” They were happy to indulge me. They were willing to play along with me. Is this what love is? Have I ever known true love since then?
Azric lifts me in his arms, and he shadow walks, not to the dragon roost, but to a set of chambers I’ve never seen before. He lays me in a bed and pulls up a chair to sit beside me. His eyes never leave me.
My father sets the tiny version of me back into her chair, and the tiny version of me goes right back to eating her stew.
He glances from her to his wife, and his wife’s face is one of fear.
Then a crossbow bolt erupts from her chest. Shock coats his face for half a second, and then another bolt erupts from his chest as well.
He falls to the ground immediately, dying instantly.
Azric, the Prince of Bones, doesn’t move any more than a statue would. My protector. The cruelest man in the world. The man who inspires nightmares even amongst the Godforged.
This is how my parents died. This brutality right in front of a five-year-old.
My fath… Rhaskar considered this the correct way to steal me away?
As the image freezes, I can’t help but reconsider everything that’s happened in my life.
The way I was trained. By Bram and Cedric. More importantly, by my father.
After long minutes have passed, Azric reaches his hand out to wrap around mine. There is none of his seduction in that touch. It’s been replaced by fear that this revelation has broken me.
“Dada? What’s wrong, Dada?” the little girl whispers. Her voice is terrified because she doesn’t know what’s happened. A girl this age can’t imagine her parents being hurt like this, much less dying. Did I even understand death?
He squeezes my hand, reassuring my body that I’m not alone.
The vision doesn’t end as memories erupt from somewhere hidden by the hands of time. I had recognized this scene. I’d believed that I knew the story from somewhere when I’d seen it on the Shadow Road, but I didn’t know where. Now I do, and this time, the scene continues.
Even through the vision, through the memories that have flooded my mind, I understand that I’m safe. I know that the one who sits beside me is someone I can trust.
Rhaskar Thorne walks up to the little girl who’s begun crying.
He’s wearing a low collared shirt with the last three buttons undone rather than his Priest’s cloak.
I can see many of his Marks: the Serpent, Spear, Veil and Hourglass.
The flowing veil etched in a light blue glows on his solar plexus, just below the Mark of the Hourglass.
He whispers in the girl’s ear, and the girl’s tears disappear.
A corrupted use of Rivena’s power. He is changing the reality of what happened.
She doesn’t see crossbow bolts protruding from her parents’ chests.
She’s seeing what he tells her to see, the lie he’s told me all these years.
She’s seeing her parents’ bodies shredded by shadow demons.
There’s a strange silence—Caeldra’s silence—as the girl looks from her parents to the man holding her.
She breaks the silence with two words. “Thank you.” The silence is shattered, and a new path for her life has been created.
One of violence. Of power. Of death. One where loyalty to the Order will always come before anything else.
One where I was willing to choose my death before betraying the Order.
The vision ends, leaving me staring at the opposite wall of the room I’ve never been in before. I say nothing for long moments. I can feel the tears running down my cheeks, but there are no sobs.
I feel empty, like someone has taken the very thing that makes me Fiona Thorne away.
Maybe that’s what’s happened. I’ve lived my life for Rhaskar Thorne, thinking him my father and savior.
I’ve lived my life for the Order, the only thing that was unequivocally good.
Now… I know all of that was forced on me, not by chance or destiny, but by my father.
No, not my father. I will never give him that title of respect again.
I had a father who loved me. He would have given everything up to protect me. I had a mother who had loved a girl who was nothing but a danger to her.
Rhaskar had taken them away. He’d made me forget them. He’d taken every bit of love from my life and replaced it with pain and training. He’d given me the ability to survive and to do great things, but the cost was not his to pay.
I turn to Azric then. He whispers, “I’m sorry about your father, Fiona.”
“My father died when I was five.”