Chapter 50 #2
The dragon nods her head slowly. “They would not know how to smile if they had not seen beauty even in our flight from the Hunters. They would be like Sidon before Vesper, and that should never happen again. A dragon is not just a creature of war. A dragon is creation and love and nurturing, and the young need to see everything that we are. I am sure that the same applies to humans.”
I turn to Azric. “And you, Prince of Bones? Did you experience all aspects of life? Did you shadow your mother and father?”
He nods slowly, and a darkness washes over his beautiful face. “I did when I was young, before I was taken. After I left, I had very little use for my parents.”
“Even then, you had me,” Inni says slowly, and it’s impossible to miss the emotion in her words. “And you have always been my shadow.”
“You’re not my parent. You’re my friend. It’s different.”
A ripple runs over Inni’s back at his response. “My soul is tied to yours, Azric Cyrus. We are much more than friends, and when you were young, I was as much a parent as Maeve and Cole. Probably more. A friend would not have followed you on the path your soul was destined for.”
He lets out a sigh. “Fine. You’re tied to my soul. Whatever the word for that is.” They’re quiet for a while, and I look over the side of the dragon as she glides through the still air.
I realize just how different my life is compared to what it would have been had I lived with my real parents. I’d have lived and died on a farm somewhere. I’d never have had the chance to change the world. I certainly wouldn’t be riding on the back of a dragon as it slowly circles Castle Lachlan.
“Do you think what we’re all doing matters at all?” I ask.
“It means everything,” Inni rumbles. “You said the Priests have an edict about being the wall against the storm, but the storm Rhaskar speaks of is nothing but the breeze before the hurricane. The humans do not stand a chance. The Fae will be nothing but a momentary obstacle. Even the Godforged will break before this storm. I have spent almost five thousand years on Nyth, and I love this place and its people. I do not know if we will win this fight, but I will face the Void if there’s any chance of saving it from destruction. ”
Azric bows his head but says nothing. I take another look at the castle below us and see people walking on the ramparts. Then I see the other dragons on the roost, all of them lying down with their eyes turned upward, watching us.
Just a few months ago, I’d have been happy to hear that all magic was destroyed in Nyth.
I’d have celebrated the news of all the dragons being killed, that the Godforged had been destroyed.
But now I’ve met them. I’ve seen that Azric is a real person, and his goals aren’t to inflict cruelty on the world.
I count Rurik and Erik as friends. Maybe Jorren and Isola are only acquaintances, but even they had patience for my humanity while training.
Elara is wonderful, and Darian… Darian was one of the best people I’ve ever met.
So, I ask the question I’ve never been brave enough to ask Azric or Inni. “You talk about wanting to save this world, so why do you and all the rest of the Godforged kill so many humans? Is it only the magical races you care about saving?”
Silence lingers in the air even as Inni beats her wings.
Azric looks down at me and says, “I have grown to understand that I am the Champion of Death, and while I may kill hoping to save this world and its inhabitants, I am no savior. My troops require lives to keep fighting. When humans are born, they draw power from the Void, and when they die, they release it. When the Undying kill humans or other non-Godforged, they draw that power into themselves and use it to feed their powers. This war was necessary so that our soldiers were ready for what is coming, and those humans who died were necessary to fuel the war. I’m not happy about their sacrifices, but it was necessary, and I’d do it again. ”
I stare at him. I have witnessed villages burned to the ground. I have seen the cold, unblinking stares of the gray dead after the Undying raided a border village. Men, women, and children. Infants still in the cradle.
“Your troops fought for almost fifty years before you were born. Why do they need to keep doing it?”
This time, it’s Inni that speaks. “Lysara commands it, and we cannot deny her.”
I meet Azric’s gaze. “Is that the way it is for all the champions? They only fight because their god commands it?”
He shrugs. “All the Godforged require the lives of humans and Fae in some way. The Corpsebinders need their bodies. The Chained need their blood to forge weapons and armor.
“Some champions are as tired of this war as I am. Others don’t mind the fighting and the slaughter.
None of them care as much as you because we aren’t human.
Does it bother you to eat beef? You raise them for a year and then slaughter them for food.
We give most human villages ten or twenty years between raids, and outside of Sylvantia, we have very specific numbers that we’re allowed to take so we never deplete the stocks too much. ”
I struggle to keep from straining against the shadows holding me against Inni’s back. “We are not cattle!”
Azric raises an eyebrow. “Aren’t you, though? We need to kill you to feed on the power inside you, just like you need to eat rabbits and venison and beef. You take life to survive every day.”
“But…!” I argue, and Azric raises a hand, stopping me.
“I don’t want to keep fighting, Fiona. I never wanted to be the Prince of Bones, but we can’t run from our destinies.
I already told you I’d do whatever it took to save Nyth, even if it’s the most terrible thing I can imagine.
No one will ever call me a savior, but I’m doing whatever it takes to save everyone. ”
Part of me wants to smile at how different we are.
He pauses for a moment to take a breath, and the look in his eyes tells me there’s so much more to say.
“The death of humans was necessary for a long time, but our soldiers aren’t becoming better at this point.
Many of the Godforged are coming back broken and unable to continue fighting.
We need to stop fighting just because it’s what we’ve done for so long.
That’s why I killed Echo. She refused to rally alongside me, and as the second strongest champion, her vocal dissent caused a rift among the champions.
Now that she’s out of the way, and you’re going to win the title of Champion of Nyxthos, we can work together to prepare in other ways—ways that don’t involve wholesale slaughter. ”
I start to ask what he’d have done had I not been so special, but Inni speaks first. “I gave up my life for thousands of years to protect the people of Nyth. I decided to be a part of this war. Fiona, I understand the purpose of all those deaths. Sometimes, we must make the less evil of two choices. Should we allow the armies of the Godforged to feed on humans or be unprepared for the Hunters? The first option gave Nyth and its people a chance to survive. The second was to see us all burned to ash. Even now, those sacrifices may not have been enough.”
“They were,” Azric says. “They had to be. Saelira foretold it. I have done everything I was supposed to do. I have become strong enough. Even Sidon believes I could stand against them.”
I don’t know what to say after that. That things may have been different had I not found my way to this specific time and place and joined the competition for the title of Champion of Nyxthos doesn’t matter.
The gods pushed me here, Saelira included.
There was never a question of whether I would find myself in this very time and place with my particular skill set.
But why? “I’m being manipulated by the gods, correct?
” I ask. Azric nods his head, but I’m looking at Inni as I say it.
She turns her head some to better see me, and I stare into the flaming red eye that’s nearly as large as I am.
“Why me? If all that matters is that I was born outside the Pact and that I could win Nyxthos’s trials, why would they guide me instead of someone else?
Rhaskar or my tutors could have done what I did.
They’re far more powerful and skilled than I am.
Rhaskar’s been fighting in this war since the beginning.
Cedric and Bram both have thirty years of combat and leadership experience.
I’m good, but they’re better. So why me? ”
Inni’s voice is soft thunder when she speaks.
“Because I would not have allowed any of them on my back. They would have seen Azric as the enemy just as you did when you first arrived, but you’ve accepted that you don’t know everything.
And you are… good. The other Priests are not.
Your father and his leadership have done terrible things in the name of survival.
You were not there when Rhaskar toppled an entire cliff face onto a village we’d just taken.
He killed dozens of Undying and all the villagers.
It shocked us and was one of the first moments where we hesitated.
He was willing to do whatever it took to win the war against us, including killing his own people.
You have never even lifted a blade against an unarmed enemy.
This is important even if you cannot see it. ”
The thought of Rhaskar killing an entire village like that isn’t surprising.
I can imagine him explaining his logic. They would have been killed just like the other villages were.
Lysara herself told me she would crush Sylvantia.
But we killed dozens of Godforged who would have raped and murdered how many other villages in their immortal lives?
I know Rhaskar would have done that, but would I have? I don’t know.
“So, I was forced down this path because I’m softer than them?”
“No,” Inni says. Azric’s staring at me silently as the dragon speaks. “You were chosen because you are not like Prince Azric has been forced to become. You have heard of Sidon’s mate, Vesper, correct?”
I nod to her. “Good. You are like she was. You refuse to accept that something is unchangeable. You will fight to fix the problems in the world, and while Azric has never fled from a fight, he has faced battles he could not win. He has learned that sometimes giving up is the best option. You haven’t, and I suspect that in the coming days, we will need someone to remind us that fighting a battle you’re certain to lose is better than giving up. ”
“I don’t know if you’re right about that,” I say softly.
Azric kneels down and takes my hand in his. “She is.”
I don’t know what to say to them. I’ve felt nearly broken twice now. When I found out how my parents died and when Saelira told me I’d die, I couldn’t have been a useful person. How many times will I witness or be forced to do something terrible and find myself sitting silently in a corner?
As if he can read my mind, Azric says, “You’ve been thrown into a world that’s so much larger than you expected.
When that happened to me…” He glances at Inni, and there’s nothing but love toward her.
“When that happened to me, I would have broken if Inni hadn’t been there.
Just like with fighting, learning to be confident and stand tall in this world takes training and experience.
You’ve done surprisingly well here for someone whose entire life has taken place in relative safety. ”
I have, haven’t I? Two breakdowns in two months of nearly constant threat of death, and one of those was after being told by a goddess that I would die. “Thank you,” I say, letting out some of the tension that’s been building. I look out at the horizon one more time before taking a breath.
Azric sits down beside me and says, “Whoever led you to me was right to do it. I feel more at peace than I ever have since I took up the mantle of Prince of Bones. There’s something about you that lets me breathe a little easier.”
I remember what he told me last night. I crave you. I wanted to see you, to touch you, to consume you.
I smile at him, but I don’t respond. The image of him under me last night flashes through my mind. He was right to push me away then. I can already feel the emotional ties building between us, and now that I know what possibly awaits me in a week, I can’t let them grow any stronger.
Azric carries too many emotional scars already, and until just recently, if I died, it would ruin his plans, but he wouldn’t wear another scar on his soul. Now, it would be a small one, I think, but if I let us grow any closer, it will be far worse for him.
Saelira told me I would die, and while I might save myself, it’s unlikely.
I’m not fool enough to gamble my champion in a game of Khorra on whether I’m smart enough to do what a goddess couldn’t.
That’s what I’d be doing if we spent the next week growing closer, so instead, I will keep my distance.
If I die, I need Azric to be strong enough to fight and save Nyth.
My life matters so little compared to that. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, Azric,” I whisper. “You’re the only reason I’ve made it this far.”
He smiles at me, but it’s not real, and I know he heard the sadness in my voice.
We let the night air blow rather than talk. I remember the way his body and wings had felt last night when I’d been in the depths of despair. He’d been my everything in that moment, and now I have to push him away.
It’s not right to hurt another to find some comfort, especially when I most likely won’t survive to comfort him back.
But tonight, we can enjoy the wind and stars together on the back of a dragon.
Tonight, we can smile silently as the world takes its deep breath.
It’s in silence that real decisions are made, after all.
Not the loud arguments. Not the battles.
It’s those moments when the world holds its breath. That’s when the world changes.
Tonight, I’m changing the future. Azric Cyrus will not hurt more than he has to if I die. Azric Cyrus will walk away from my death and do what he must do to save Nyth.