Chapter 40 The Hunger of Fear
~ brEN ~
Thankfully, the queen kept some of her maids available to help me undress and take down my hair this time, so when I returned to the Keep, it was with a large, brown-paper package tied with string that held the dress, carefully rolled with pleats flat.
I doubted the seamstresses would have time to make more than two dresses, so I’d keep this one precisely as it was.
My chest warmed at the thought of what Donavyn’s expression might be when he saw me in it.
I had missed patrol, but that only meant that I had time to add the package to my fly-bag at the stable, take my dirty leathers to the laundry, and finally take a late lunch.
I was starving. I’d managed to consume two small cakes at the audience with the queen, but nothing substantial. My navel felt like it pulled tight against my spine.
That afternoon I met Voski and Gil for further training with Akhane in camouflage, and some discussion of the logistics of subterfuge so Gil could plan the following day with Ronen.
Apparently, I was to learn how to establish a base in any town or city, and how to prepare exit strategies, and a safe house in an enemy city.
I got Akhane back to the stable just in time for dinner, then rushed back for another meal with my brothers. I was still wary that I’d now been sought twice in the stable, and if the wrong person came looking too many days in a row and didn’t find me there, questions would be asked.
Donavyn had told Akhane to have me come to the apartment after dinner, so I decided to eat with my brothers, then return to the stable for an hour before going to him. Though I was itchy to see him again, I wanted to be there if someone came looking.
Other than that, I just prayed the queen didn’t get any bright ideas about a night time training. I needed to see Donavyn.
As night fell, and the cool twilight turned dark, I finally made it to the apartment, clutching the parcel as my excuse in case I was seen.
I marched up to his floor as I would if I’d been sent with a delivery, then made sure the hallway was clear, before opening the door and stepping inside.
I’d half expected Donavyn to be waiting for me in the bedchamber, but instead, lights blazed in the living room.
He stood in the warm light of two lanterns, hunched over the dining table where two or three large maps had been spread out, the edges held down with brass weights to keep them from rolling back up.
His hair was down, which meant he’d already bathed. His great shoulders rolled forward as he leaned on the table, one leg braced, the other bent, frowning at the map in front of him.
I closed the door quickly and he heard the click, turning to look over his shoulder, his eyes lighting up when I dropped my bundle to the side and walked straight to his side.
“What’s going on?” I asked, a little disappointed that he hadn’t swept me straight into a kiss. But the expression on his face made it clear he focused on something important.
“I’m choosing our flight path into Fyrehold,” he rumbled, turning back to the map as I leaned against his shoulder and hugged his arm. “I want to make sure we’re not observed on our way.”
Nerves. Thrill. Terror. I frowned and tried to press all the emotions down, to focus like he was. “Can’t we just fly straight in? They know we’re coming.”
“We could. But it’s always smart to draw as little attention as possible.
If Fyrehold is working with another nation against us and informs them of our coming—or if our mole becomes aware of our mission and its timing—other agents might lay in wait for us.
I’m a target for political leverage. I think it’s only smart to be cautious.
Besides, I want a chance to establish a base outside the palace—which we can’t do if they see us coming. ”
“I’m getting instruction in that tomorrow,” I said softly, leaning into him. “So I should be able to help with that part.” I’m here. I’m going with you. I never want to leave you—
With a final glance at the map, and as if he’d heard my thoughts, though I hadn’t sent them through the bond, Donavyn straightened from his lean on the table and turned to pull me close, wrapping his arms around me.
For a moment we just held each other. The stress of the day eased out of me with every breath I was clasped against him. I felt the tension draining out of my muscles and let myself exhale fully, releasing some of the fear, planting my face at the center of his chest.
He rubbed hands up and down my back, his head resting on the top of mine.
Moments like that were precious—we had so few of them—but being in his arms and pressed against his raw strength never failed to make my stomach trill.
I lifted one hand to toy with his button just under my chin, rolling it under my finger, then popping it free before looking up to meet his eyes and smile.
“You need to rest,” he said gruffly, though I could see the light igniting behind his eyes.
“That’s exactly what I’m hoping we can do together,” I said, and popped another of his buttons.
He growled and his hands slid to my hips. At first I thought he’d push me away, but instead he just held me against him and stared into my eyes.
‘I wouldn’t call that resting,’ he sent, but even in the bond I could hear the smile in his voice.
“It might help you sleep?” I murmured, somehow unable to put into words the coil of emotion knotting in my chest. I popped another button so that the sides of his shirt fell open at the top, baring a triangle of his chest.
He grunted, but didn’t move.
With a sigh I stepped back and kept hold of only one of his hands to pull him towards the bedroom, but his grip tightened on my hand and he tugged me to a stop.
When I turned to look a question at him, he gave one of those low rumbles of approval and pulled me back against him, cupping my face and descending on me with hunger.
My body flared with need and I arched into him, tilting my head to deepen the kiss, sighing happily when he began to undress me.
Then he dropped his chin to kiss my neck as he pushed my leathers down, and I leaned back in his arms and whispered. “Let’s go to bed.”
“I have a better idea,” he growled, his breath tickling my ear as his stubble abraded my jaw.
Then, before I could answer, he gripped my ass in both hands and lifted me.
Then, still standing next to the table, my legs wrapped around his waist, he pulled out of the kiss and muttered a curse as he turned.
One of his hands shot out and he plucked one, then another of those weights off the side of the maps.
The heavy papers hissed as they rolled up, towards the still-weighted end, neatly clearing the table.
I laughed when he frowned, as if he considered the best spot to place me, and took his face, pulling him into another kiss as he plonked me on the tabletop.
I was surprised when he gripped my legs, urging me to unwind them from his hips, but of course, he was still dressed.
I grumbled, but not for long. Soon I was biting my lip at the sight of him as he stood back half a step, straightened, and stretched his arms up and behind his neck, grasping his shirt at the back and pulling it forward off his body and over his head.
The sight of his skin revealed, stomach first, then his chest, then shoulders, his hair now mussed and falling over his face, was fire to my soul.
Eyes locked on me through those stray strands as he leaned down to brace on the edge of the table so his face was right in mine, and shifted his weight, toeing off his boots, then shoved his leathers down.
As he continued to wrestle with his clothes, I took his handsome face in my hands and pulled him back into a kiss—slower this time, but just as deep. Then, finally, he was beautifully bare—and he didn’t wait.
Leaned over me as he was, he opened his mouth over my nipple, rumbling happily as he sucked and I grabbed for him, arching back to give him more room.
Then his kisses moved slowly up my chest, to my shoulder, my neck, one hand cradling my hip, the other sliding up my spine, his fingers burying in the hair at my nape, then he closed his fist and pulled my head back by my hair and took my mouth with his, tongue delving and breath ragged, as he lowered me back on the tabletop.
When he entered me, he sucked in a deep breath and his hand shot out to grip the back edge of the table for leverage as he thrust. Then he threw his head back and lifted his hips, taking me to the hilt, his beautiful body bowed under the warm light of the lanterns, and his dark eyes heated as he stared at me.
That gaze crackled through my body, to reach the deepest parts of my core and meet the pleasure he sparked within me.
I shivered and reached for him, already gasping, as every inch of my skin prickled, tingling with joy.
~ DONAVYN ~
I gritted my teeth as I took her in a slow, firm thrust.
Bren’s head dropped back, thunking on the tabletop as she gasped my name, and the sight of her laid out before me like that was intoxicating.
Cupping one hand behind her neck to cradle her, I watched myself take her in long, slow thrusts, watched her skin pink and her eyes glaze. I heard my name whispered through the room on the rasp of her panting breath, and the sheer pleasure of it all threatened to overwhelm me.
The lantern light, turned up high, kissed her skin in gold and emphasized where her muscles ridged and rolled. But to my dismay, only one nipple glistened from my kisses.
I drew out of her body and she whimpered her complaint as I bent at the waist to taste the other nipple, then thrust into her again.
For some time, I held her tightly, bridged over her by one hand clamped on the far side of the table, the other dragging fingertips down her body and across her stomach, teasing her breasts, curling under her throat, pulling up her chin, reminding her to stare into my eyes and see me there, to know who had her.