The Audience
Rhazien ruled from a place of logic and strength.
All of his declarations were reasonable compromises.
However, most of the residents had simple, fixable concerns or complaints.
One vampire requested reassignment from farming to pursue a glassblowing apprenticeship.
Another brought a grievance about a neighbor’s treatment of their human servant.
The steady, clear-headed regent listened attentively, asked thoughtful questions, and each citizen departed thanking him for his time. Additionally, all of them acknowledged me with a bow and a prayer to the four for my good health.
The throne I was seated in matched Rhazien’s in every way. We were being presented as a pair, a partnership, equals. I wasn’t involved in the proceedings beyond being present, and after receiving Dommik’s message, I was barely able to hold focus.
The commander flanked the right side of my throne and Gorvin was his opposite, framing Rhazien’s left.
But while Rhazien and Gorvin would engage from time to time to confer on notes between citizens, Dommik did not attempt conversation with me.
That didn’t mean I wasn’t painfully aware of his looming presence.
Dommik had escorted me to the ballroom, shadowed me until Rhazien arrived, and silently took his place next to me.
I’d wanted to ask him why now? Why this moment? Why, after we’d achieved what I thought was our new normal, did he feel called to admit to his feelings for me?
His timing was horrid and his delivery had been unnecessary, especially since I’d been aware his feelings were gnawing at him for days.
There was no pride in this victory. It made nothing more clear. It didn’t pave a path forward to better days. Instead, it would lead us into a dangerous abyss if we let it. And I couldn’t let it…
This is what I was brought here to do. This is who he delivered me here to be. Seeing this plan, which he was fully aware of from the start, should not be this difficult to understand or bear witness to. And if it was, it was entirely his fault for defying orders and tasting me.
Rhazien leaned my way, catching my eye and pulling me from my thoughts. “How are you faring, my jewel?”
I’m exhausted, I thought with a new appreciation of how much energy it takes to attentively listen for hours on end. “I feel a bit like decoration, but I am well.”
It was a small lie wrapped in a truth. I did feel like decoration. Like his jewel. But I didn’t feel well. Not with my head swimming with Dommik’s words and not while signs of my cycle rolled through me, tensing the muscles in my back.
“Can I get you anything, Majesty? My lady?” Gorvin inquired.
My cramps were present, but I still had time before they became unbearable. I didn’t want either of them to fuss or worry over such a natural occurrence, but admitted, “I do have a slight headache.”
“I’ll fetch you a tonic.” Gorvin only stayed long enough to finish the sentence before making a swift exit.
“Master of Tasks.” Rhazien wiggled his brows and extended a hand to me. He called to the footman allowing guests to enter and exit the small reception room from the larger gathering hall. “We require a break. Leave us.”
The footman obliged, bowing before exiting.
“You too.” Rhazien’s gaze floated over my shoulder.
“Majesty.” Dommik’s leathers groaned and footsteps receded. For the first time, his absence gave me a sense of relief.
Once alone, Rhazien exhaled and slouched in his throne dramatically.
Each day he revealed more of himself to me and what I’d come to appreciate about him most recently was his jovial humor.
It was never public, like a piece of himself he saved for me.
Like I was in a safe space where he could let it out from time to time before donning armor and continuing his role as the ever-serious immortal leader.
“I know these sessions are beneficial for our community, but they are so taxing. And every time we have them, I’m always reminded to be grateful they’re not more often.” He rolled his shoulders and stretched his neck as he explained.
“I’ve been very impressed with the fairness of your rulings today.” His green eyes beamed at my compliment.
“That means a lot to me. I’ve never had a prospect to listen in. It’s usually just Gorvin and myself.”
I picked at a loose thread on my gown. “Well, I’m not sure how much my opinion means.”
“It means everything.” He squeezed my hand. A spark of admiration ignited in my chest. My opinion mattered to him. And that mattered to me.
I just wished Dommik hadn’t soured the evening. His words echoed across my mind on a ceaseless loop.
In an attempt to block out his voice, I changed the subject and inquired, “How was Oddo?”
Rhazien exhaled heavily. “He’s well. I had asked him to look into a rumor that had been circulating. He has quite a network amongst the Hives so if there’s ever something to know, he’s the best person for the job.”
“Oh?” He had my full attention. I was, after all, only human. I enjoyed good gossip as much as the next regular person. “So, what did he learn?”
Rhazien leaned on the arm of his throne as he spoke. “Enough to warrant a visit to our Northern neighbors.”
“Exciting,” I gritted through a rolling cramp.
“It is. I have Alba packing your things for you already.”
“My things?”
“Yes, we’re leaving tomorrow.”
“We?” I asked with a volume I wished I could amend. Based on the stories Rhazien had shared, a visit to the Northern Hive sounded about as welcoming as going back to the axe in Illica.
Rhazien chuckled. “Yes, a small convoy of my most trusted associates within court.”
Outwardly, I nodded in support. Internally, I was battling a flavor of fear I hadn’t felt in weeks. Fear of vampires. Of a more violent Hive. A Hive that produced and celebrated monsters like Vaspar. I swallowed hard and absently rubbed my forehead.
Rhazien abandoned his throne to kneel at my side. “Are you well? Be honest.”
This is exactly the worry I’d wanted to avoid.
“I’m fine.” I wasn’t fine, but I was determined to try. For him, the kind and handsome vampire male who had done more for me than anyone I’d ever courted—a short list, but still.
I took his bearded chin into my hands and gave him a gentle kiss. His appreciative hum danced across my lips.
“Because we could leave. I have a light-tight estate near the ocean. And I’d rather see your naked body amongst the waves than continue this bureaucratic choreography.”
I couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “It’s nearly winter, Rhazien!”
“Oh, right. Too cold for humans. We could just lay naked in front of the fireplace and I’ll let the old sea gods watch as I worship you.” His hands slid on either side of my legs and urged me forward in my chair. “We could leave now.”
“Gorvin would send a search party.” I chuckled between kisses.
“Ugh.” The distraught regent laid his head on my lap. “You’re right.”
I absently rubbed his neck and back and wondered what someone would think if they walked in on this moment. To see Rhazien kneeling before a prospect.
Then I realized I wanted people to see. Not people.
Dommik. I wanted him to see the intimate moments that had become natural and normal for Rhazien and me over these few weeks.
Maybe if he saw us, he would understand.
He would let this thing between us die. And if I knew he’d let go, then I could too.
Did I want him to give up?
“Are you happy?” Rhazien asked from his submissive position.
“Hmm?” My hand stilled.
He lifted his head and repeated, “Are you happy? Here? With me?”
“Yes.” The answer surfaced instantly. I meant it. I was happy. He made me happy. Happier than I’d been in a long time. Happier than I ever thought I could be, especially here.
His eyes lit up, his own happiness driving away the hint of concern I hadn’t noticed until it was gone.
“I’m yours,” I said, hoping to reassure him further. The way he’d worked so hard to reassure me that I would be safe and protected.
“And I’m yours.” He kissed my knuckles.
My heart swelled with his declaration. I wanted more of this. My life could be filled with this. If I could just let go of that nagging, consistent pull to Dommik. There was one way I could cut off its oxygen and snuff it out completely.
“And I’ve made a decision,” I began, knowing my next sentence would change everything. He held his breath as he listened.
My heart pounded as I willed myself to have the courage to tell him what I’d chosen, hoping I wouldn’t regret what couldn’t be changed once I committed myself to it. But it was the only way this life would work. This life. My life. With him.
“Rhazien,” I whispered, “I’ve chosen to accept the honor of being shadowbound to you.”