Chapter 13 #2
“What purpose does this truly serve you?” I ask again, folding my arms and refusing to break the eye contact.
He’s the first one to break, surveying the trees canopying above the cottage. Rocking back on his heels, he looks like he’s chewing on his words. So I sit and stare, waiting.
Finally, he looks back to me. “Being king is not easy. It forces you to make hard decisions.”
“Obviously,” I murmur.
His mouth tilts into a slight smirk before he continues. “I won’t lie to you because I never have. I need you to be in the royal household, for the kingdom’s sake. You and I are technically supposed to be wed already and securing the lineage with an heir.”
There is a large emphasis on need. But marriage? A child? He’s not the only one out of their mind.
“With the obvious setbacks recently, that will not be happening,” he continues, looking away again.
The crickets fill the silence. “But,” he sucks in sharply.
“We need to show a united front. More than ever. I know you saw the way we are regarded by the people, my court and other kingdoms. Our strength is unmatched and I need you to help me uphold it.”
I consider his words, anxiety filling my chest. This feels like it is for his benefit. Yet I know nothing of this life.
Cedric wants me to try to be his. To try to remember. To try to be a queen. But I’m not even me.
If I accept, it is more than accepting this life. It is like abandoning what was normal for me. But that kernel of yearning sits heavy within me. To know more. To be free of these restraints. That is what my ailment is, to be sure.
A restraint.
But accepting is one step closer to finding answers, even if it means being close to Cedric.
If we can understand this supposed curse, I could understand what truly happened to me – and how I can find the life I was meant to live.
What part of me is real, and where am I meant to go.
Between Lux and the village, my only answers might lie in complying with the very creatures that hold me captive.
The releasing clause makes this attractive, too.
Hesitantly, and surprisingly, I step further over the threshold and offer my hand. Cedric regards my gesture with a confused expression. I chuckle and reach for his opposite with my other, guiding it to grasp my palm.
“The cottage stays available for me,” I say. If this is to be an agreement, I will need something in return.
“As you wish,” he says, bowing halfway. I scoff and shake our hands. We release and I nod tersely, going to turn back into the cottage but Cedric stops the door with his foot.
“You like swimming.”
I like swimming? This male needs some lessons on language.
“Okay?” I turn back around.
I’ve certainly never been swimming. Well, Liv has never been swimming, I mentally correct.
“There is a lake a few miles outside of castle grounds that we used to frequent. I wanted to invite you,” Cedric says, shoving his hands into his pockets.
I consider his odd invitation. Apparently this is the night for it. It was not so long ago that he was beating the life, whatever life it may be, out of his brother. Now, the hardened king wants to take a dip.
“It’s nearly dark out.” I look at the setting sun behind him. The orange hues complete a halo around his body.
“Never stopped us before. We live in the night, Liv. Please.” He extends a hand.
Am I truly about to join the king of Lux for a trip to the lake? Alone?
There are so many things he could do to me.
I shake the thought from my mind.
Hesitantly, I take his offer and Cedric pulls me in, pausing before we touch. He looks down at me, suddenly realizing how close we are and I swear he’s holding his breath.
“I have to hold onto you to get there,” he murmurs, caught in some daze.
“Wha—”
He grabs hold of me and we dash into time and space. The grass and gravel of the castle grounds blurs below us as I squeeze my hands tight around his neck.
I’m going to be sick.
All of our surroundings melt together as we dash between trees and cottages, hopping over a fence I nearly thought we would trip over. Shadows consume and bend around us, creating a torpedo of matter and magic. My palms sweat and spark as we shift.
I attempt to look down again, holding the contents of my stomach down as best as I can.
He’s running, but also not. We fly between time and space.
Fast. Incredibly, unfathomably fast. I subtly tilt my head up to look at him.
His jawline cuts across his face in a harsh manner but the rest of his look is softened, as if this is all done with little effort.
He doesn’t notice me staring, and if he does, he doesn’t say anything.
Suddenly, we come to a stop as gently as if we were walking.
I’m panting. Cedric isn’t. He smiles over my shoulder – a joyful one, too. He’s almost completely unaware that I’m still in his embrace.
My stomach held on long enough.
I groan and push myself from his chest, turning away just in time to vomit.
His hand comes to my back, rubbing gently as I continue to dry heave because there isn’t much in me to let out. Eventually, I come to, spitting foam on the ground. I go to wipe my mouth with my sleeve but a handkerchief appears in front of me.
“Thanks,” I grumble. “Sorry you had to see that.”
“Don’t mention it,” he replies.
My eyes water but they finally make their way over to what Cedric is smiling at.
The lake.
It’s nearly night. Blue hour has crept in, casting a twilight hue on the surroundings. The lake itself isn’t that large, probably taking up half the castle’s size. A single dock extends out into the water with a rowboat tethered to it.
“Beautiful, right?” Cedric steps forward, kicking a pebble with his boots. His hands are in his pockets again, his shoulders loosened.
“It really is,” I agree. I wander onto the dock, admiring the pine trees that are backlit by the hidden sun.
“We used to come out here a lot, I take it?”
Cedric sits down on the shore, propping an elbow upon his knee. He is completely relaxed. He nods.
I stride over and join him. The sounds of the forest are both eerily quiet yet not.
We sit like this for some time, gazing at whatever light filters onto the water.
We’re so close that I can hear his shallow breaths and the sound of him running his hands through the rocks.
I pick one up and give it a toss across the water, thinking about any memory I could possibly have that is not the farm.
My hand brushes another as I absently reach for another stone. The touch shakes me from my mind, bringing me back to present.
“Where did you go?” Cedric asks, his face puzzled as he looks at me. Only the left side of his face is dimly lit by the rising moon.
“Go where?”
“Wherever your mind just took you,” he says, still examining my face. “It’s the oddest thing, not being able to understand you like I used to.”
“The way you used to understand Elivienne,” I correct.
Cedric pulls his hand back, making me realize we were resting ours close to one another. I also retract and gaze out at the still water reflecting the darkening sky.
“Same thing,” he mumbles as he gets up and strides to the dock. I sit in the same spot, staring at his haunted figure.
He begins to undress, first pulling his shirt up. I wish I could say I averted my gaze immediately, but that would be a lie. I stare at him for half a moment. His body flexes as the shirt goes over his head. The muscles are sculpted like fine art, something Ma could carve.
Cedric swings his head towards my direction. I turn the opposite way, hoping he didn’t notice my eye goggling. I fear what he is, but I simply cannot fear what he looks like.
“Coming?” he says as he begins to slip off his boots. I stand up, still shaky from the trip over here.
Going to have to get used to that.
The dock goes out about fifteen feet, slightly swaying as I carry myself across its planks. I use this time to decide if swimming with the king of Lux is a good idea.
I already came out here with him. If he was planning on murdering me, this would be a good spot. But he hasn’t murdered me yet.
I stop and stand before him, trying to get a hold of my gaze as it attempts to dip to his bare chest. I need to stop. He is a monster. Deadly and lethal.
“Turn around,” I blurt. “Is it cold?”
Cedric smiles and turns around, working on his belt. As I turn, my eyes briefly catch on a scar below his hairline.
So, vampyrs can be injured.
“This lake is sort of an anomaly. It sits above the earth where it naturally heats. We call it Spring Lake,” Cedric says over my shoulder.
I slip my dress off with some trouble, grateful to have loosened the leather strings that crisscross my chest. I still thoroughly approve of my decision to forgo corsets altogether.
The servant who visited me seemed shocked with surprise.
“You jump first,” I say, back still turned. “Still no looking until I’m in.”
Cedric laughs, followed with a splash. The water hits my calves.
Warm. The lake is warm.
I plug my nose and jump in on the other side of the dock.
It truly is a hot spring, a large one at that.
Though, it is not hot, but lukewarm. It definitely beats the frigid early spring air outside.
I surface from the warm bath and wade around the wooden structure, careful not to come too close to Cedric.
His back is facing me as he stares at the rising moon. Again, my eyes catch on his back.
“How did you get your scar?” I ask, breaking the silence. As if on cue, Cedric reaches back and pets the mark.
“I lost a fight,” he says, turning to face me.
“Vampyrs can be injured, then?”
Cedric shakes his head, facing twisting with sorrow. “Not a true injury. We can bear the scars where we were hurt but no physical maladies follow it. It takes a lot, though, to really leave a mark. But it can happen.”
I consider his words. “Like the body doesn’t want to forget.”
Cedric tilts his head and then nods. “Yeah, I guess that’s a smart assessment.”
“Did it hurt?”
I tread closer.