Chapter 15 #4
“Yes, I did well enough to jump rank. Sawyer is the younger of us. Having children is extremely hard for vampyrs. It happens often enough for families to sire heirs, but some are not that lucky. However, we relish in the act of, uh…” His voice catches in his throat, his eyes darting to behind me.
“So why are you the second and not the third?”
Garreth squirms a bit. “I think even you understand the prince’s standing at court is not all welcomed these days.”
“A little vampyr history?” Cedric cuts in, pulling the chair next to me and flipping it to sit on it backwards.
“I was just curious of the positions of court, actually,” I state. I can feel the warmth of him next to me, even being a foot away.
“Any questions you have, do ask them. It can help with your memory,” Cedric replies.
I turn in my chair to face Cedric now.
“Alright. My role in court? Specifically for the near future, considering I could always be Liv, like we agreed.” I enunciate the last word.
He grunts, adjusting in his seat. Garreth whistles and I can hear his chair scrape along the floor back to its original position. Cedric fiddles with his sleeves, avoiding eye contact.
“That, my dear Liv,” he starts, “we can discuss when we’re not here, in Duresden.” His last word is so low even my ears barely catch it.
“I am not your dear,” I say offhandedly.
“You make this difficult,” he whispers, afraid of others listening in.
“I make this difficult? Have any of you considered how uncomfortable this is for me? I’m not Elivienne.” I, too, whisper the last part.
“Yet,” he clips. “Garreth, call the carriages back.” He motions to his friend.
Garreth, having been listening in, stands abruptly and exits with Avonde, hand in hand.
I turn to fully face Cedric now. He looks relaxed, sitting on the chair with his legs wide open against its back.
His stern face is free of wrinkles or aging, lightly tanned.
Atop his head his dark hair is combed back loosely with small curls tucked behind his ears.
Rolan has not reappeared, thankfully.
“You don’t get to decide for me when and where I voice myself or when I am to leave,” I say, gripping the sides of the chair. The wood cracks under my grip, though I don’t think Cedric notices.
“I absolutely do.” He stands and swings the chair back around.
In the blink of an eye, he places one hand on my back and the other on my forearm, softly pulling me up from the chair with ease.
To any onlooker, it may have looked like eager lovers ready to break free of formalities. But this, this is sheer force.
I move to break free and he lets me. “I’m sorry,” he says and takes a wide step away but keeps pace next to me. He silently guides me from the dais and through the hall by his side. The guards don’t pay any mind to us as our slippers pad on the carpet.
Resentment builds and so I grind my heels into the carpet and simply stop. Cedric, silent as ever, glares at me before a smiling Rolan steps in our path with arms wide open.
“Ah, the betrothed! Leaving so soon?” His eyes dart between me and Cedric, only once dipping down to the firm grip on my hand and then back up to me.
“Yes, we planned on making haste to prepare for temple this month with our Arch. Got a bit carried away with the wine tonight,” Cedric says with a wink. I nod in agreement, smiling tersely, unsure what temple is.
“Erees smite me, temple!” Rolan palms his forehead, surely having forgotten the event. “I wish you a safe journey. You’ll hear from me soon. Elivienne, an absolute pleasure to see you in person. Healthy. Complete. Truly a gift.” He bows and moves to the side, allowing us to pass.
My shoulders roll back to shake off the eeriness in everything Rolan said. Does he know my ailment?
As soon as we exit the castle, Cedric angrily walks ahead at a fast pace. Frustration rolls off him like smoke.
“I am not your property, Cedric. I don’t even know who I am,” I say, staying put. A row of guards lines the cobbled hill down to the castle gates. Human, cess, or vampyr, they can hear us loud and clear.
He stops just before the carriage with Avonde and Garreth inside, who pull the door shut quickly. The guards stationed on either side of the door shift but stay unmoved and Giles busies himself with the reins. I wonder if Rolan is just inside eavesdropping on this quarrel.
Cedric turns and immediately appears in front of me, causing me to step back. “Oh really?” He towers over me, our chests close to touching as I gaze up at him. Rage simmers behind his eyes.
“You are my subject at the very, very least. I am choosing you. Choosing to put up with this and be the best I can be, but you are challenging every motion of good I put forth. I have given you many reasons to trust me but just like this –” he snaps – “you go back on your ideas about me. Why? Why, Liv?” He finishes and pants, waiting for an answer. I roll my tongue in my mouth.
“I didn’t ask for any of this but Gods are you doing a fantastic job at warming me to you. Look at you, look at your behavior. A simple question about my future caused this!” I motion around us. “You treat me like your equal one day and your subject the other. Pick one or leave me alone.”
“This was a mistake.” He takes in a deep breath and shakes his head, as if shaking off his anger. “I should have never brought you here so soon. We can’t do this here. Please, the carriage.” He motions to it, but I stand my ground.
“No.”
He grinds his teeth. “Anything you want to know I will explain when we get back to the castle. But please –” He motions again, his head dropping. The image of an exhausted king, but a damned one too.
“Tell me why. Why are you so cold one moment and the next as warm as a summer’s day? How can I heal? How can I cope with this behavior? You are punishing me for not remembering.”
“I am trying to protect you!” Cedric bellows.
Stunned, I open and close my mouth, unsure of what to say.
“I am trying, incredibly hard, to protect you. And I realize now I am failing at that. But my actions are not without consideration. Please –” Cedric motions to the carriage once more and this time, I listen.