Chapter 18 #2
He snorts. “Some of it but don’t tell my ego that. My power is significant and growing, but I am one of many vampyr rulers. We can’t all be the chosen ones.”
“And are there two chosen ones at a time in each kingdom?”
“What do you mean?”
“The marks near your throne.”
He turns around fully and crosses his ankles, the cape bunched against the window.
“I had the second throne to mine removed last month, when it seemed that you wouldn’t make a recovery anytime soon.
” He taps his hand on his leg before pushing away.
“It was too hard to sit next to it each month, knowing you should be here. Now, I suppose, it is unclear if I should have it reinstalled.”
A response fails to form and I avert my attention back to the young vampyr tossing rocks at a well.
“I thought children were rare?”
“They are.”
“How are there so many down there?”
“To ensure the survival of their heirs, many noble families send their children to Demis to be raised together. It also allows for lines to mix.”
“That sounds terribly lonely,” I whisper, evaluating the logistics of that arrangement. How often do they see their parents? Turning, I find Cedric evaluating me from behind. The natural twilight gives his tanned skin a softened glow, like the moon.
“For some, it is, yes. You and I were raised together.”
This is information I do know. “Yes, that’s right.”
He nods, no doubt grinning at the memories of our childhood. “Garreth, Avonde, Sawyer and Rolan, as well,” he adds, searching my face for a breakthrough. I can’t blame him.
“Why was Rolan at Lux?”
He motions to the chairs beside the window. “It’s very complicated.”
“You’ve said that before. But you also said you would answer any questions.”
“And I’m good on my word.” He pauses, in deep thought.
“Rolan’s mother, Katrine, was a cousin of my mother.
She had Rolan out of wedlock with an… anonymous male.
My aunt lost her sense of self and desiccated willingly when he was only a child.
It was gruesome. My mother did what she thought best to give him a chance and took him in and allowed him to live, learn and exist peacefully at Lux. ”
Liv nodded her head in understanding, then twisted her face. “Wouldn’t that make you and Rolan cousins, then?”
“Indeed. Second. You can’t choose family.”
“I see. That still doesn’t explain how he went from a bastard orphan to being king,” I ponder.
“The anonymous male was Duresden’s king, whose will and testament named Rolan as his one true and only heir to the throne.
Just a couple years ago, in fact, after he perished in battle.
The old king was evil but largely unknown to his public.
My father never made visits. The kingdom used to be isolationist but as the old king perished, things became easier and trade opened up again.
What you see now is what Rolan has done to increase his wealth and standing. ”
My mind slips away to images of a young boy being whisked away from his dying mother to court training, eventually rising to be the king of an entire country.
“H–How long have we known each other?” The question almost dies in my mouth, but these are the questions I should be asking. I don’t miss the shake in his hand as he pours me a glass of amber liquid.
“Well,” he begins, nearly choking on his drink as it goes down. “We’ve known each other our whole lives, nearly two hundred years.”
“Two hundred!” I cry out, the look of misbelief showing on my face. He quickly strides over to a large book on a pedestal.
“We live to be around a thousand years old, give or take. As long as no one murders us in the process,” he laughs.
“This –” he opens the tome and motions me over – “is the royal scriptum. It tells the stories of generations. It is magicked, so it is endless.” His finger runs along the pristine leather. “Open to page 3,692.”
I slide the book onto my lap, heaving open the large book with its thousands of pages. A few moments after figuring out how the book approximates pages, I finally land on the section.
“‘December 21’,” I read aloud, scanning the paragraph below the date.
“‘Today, on the darkest day of the year, the most blessed set of births has been delivered in the history of Erees. A most powerful union of the vampyrs and the cess will be secured for the next royal line.’” My voice fades towards the end.
What I read again and again and again does not…
It’s beyond comprehension.
Prince Cedric Nexul, son of Erees, bringer of darkness, was delivered by our holy queen, Desmona. Across the hall, Lady Elmira De Cassas delivered her daughter, Elivienne. The pregnancies were both blessed by our God and now our worlds shall unite and give darkness a new presence in Lux.
I stop reading, my breathing picking up as I rub the delicate pages with my fingers.
“This means…”
“Yes,” he replies.
Gently, he grabs the book from my lap and places it back on its spot.
“I–I don’t understand. If children are so rare, then how did this happen?”
“That’s the thing, it shouldn’t have. It was destiny. Erees blessed us.”
Tears well in my eyes for so many crazy, unbelievable reasons. Night has fallen, so the room is dimmed and only the moon shines on his profile.
His hand raises to my cheek before I can stop it. My breath betrays me and hitches. My body does not want to move away now. I lean into his touch, the calluses on his palm scratching my jaw.
“You were never required to be with me. Our parents wanted to secure our lines with the most powerful match in history. But I never made you do anything. Even now, Liv, you have a choice. You do not need to try for me, to be with me. Say the word and you can go live any life you wish. If I have a chance at securing your health and happiness, I need to take it.”
I scent his own tears, but I can’t open my eyes. I can’t see him in this moment, but he forces me to. His hand moves to my chin, tilting my head up.
“Look at me,” he breathes, watching the delicate tears fall from my face.
I obey.
“I chose you,” I say.
“Yes.”
“But, I was bred to be your wife, Cedric. I was bred to be yours. From the moment I was born, I was always born to be this. To carry your heirs. To be queen or be nothing. What choice is that? How could I step away from royal obligation? Because I do not remember, I do not believe.”
“That’s not how it is, Liv, just listen to what I am saying. I tried refusing the match, just as you did! Hell, you refused the match more than I did by a landslide.” He rises, rage boiling behind his eyes.
“I don’t remember any of that. How could I?
” I strike. “I asked, so this is my fault. But do not shame me for processing this information because it sounds like I didn’t and don’t have a choice.
It’s hard to imagine being happy here, at Lux, when for two years I was the happiest in my coma. ” My words find their mark.
“Am I to be forever in comparison with my brother?”
“I–I do not know,” I groan.
“Tell me what you remember about him.” My head whips over to him. Asking this will only result in more hurt. More pain.
“Sawyer is kind and gentle and protective. Someone whose word is stronger than bond, though I now know that is no longer the truth. But I am faced with tackling the memories deep in here.” I point to my head.
“We share too many and those are the ones, the only ones, that I can remember. When I was asleep, that is all I knew.” I set my cup down and move to the book once more.
“Everything was a deceit. Fragments here and there of betrayal or confusion. I am trying, Cedric.”
The last sentence slips out.
Cedric growls. “It appears his disappointment in reality is no match for whatever idea of him you have in your head. He manipulated you, Liv. I tried to get through to you and barely could because he had his claws so deep in your mind. Doesn’t that bother you?”
“Of course it does.”
“Did you decide that before or after you fled into the night with him?”
“What?” I try to steel my form, but I can feel the shakes, the hum of energy in my fingertips. He knew.
“The square. Sawyer tipped off my guards you had plans. He was worried about your behavior. Garreth notified me when we returned from Duresden. He had no intention of joining you. Why you protected him, I do not know.”
My head pounds.
“I don’t want to fight with you,” he concedes. “Please forgive me.”
I turn from the book and face him fully. My dress catches the dying flames from the candelabras. His formal tunic makes him more strapping and lethal, but I force those thoughts away.
“Are you still afraid of me?” I barely hear him ask, but I shake my head. He nods once and turns on his heel to leave, but some force drives me to grab his hand, damp with anxiety.
I hold him. “You are no monster. I am not myself, but I am trying.”
Cedric squeezes my hand back before releasing and opening the door. “We don’t have to end every interaction like this every time. When you truly realize that I am not the enemy, that I just want what is best for you, even if it isn’t me… come find me, Liv.”