Epilogue 1 - Sasha
“Yes!”
Lucy agreeing to marry me under the stars one night at the beach house felt like a dream.
After being so nervous that I was literally sick earlier in the day, I managed to actually ask her the question I’ve been dying to ask for months now.
Even during the darkest days of being an asshole and thinking she was conspiring against me, I knew if I ever got married, it would only be to her.
Now, as I sit in the waiting room of a bland office in the city, I don’t have regrets, exactly.
But I do think I might be unprepared for what’s about to happen.
We had been cuddled naked in our favorite hammock, listening to the waves and tipsy on champagne and each other, when Lucy clarified her willingness to marry me.
“Couples counseling,” she slurred sleepily into my shoulder, so softly that I barely heard her.
“Hmm?” I still had hope at this point that she said “let’s fuck again,” and I didn’t hear the word counseling.
But couples counseling is exactly what she meant, and I got an impassioned speech about working through our communication styles before we got married.
My upbringing and inability to trust her needed to be unpacked, and her abandonment issues, thanks to her dad, also threatened to fester.
Sober Lucy the following morning felt just as strongly as tipsy Lucy the night before.
When she shyly admitted she had needed to be a little drunk to admit to wanting counseling, unsure of how I would react, I felt like the world’s biggest piece of shit.
So here we are, ready to learn some tools and exercises to help me become a better man for my future wife.
It’s nerve-racking, not knowing what will happen in this first session.
The internet says it’ll be more getting to know us than anything and seeing how we communicate.
I don’t know if it’s our current communication that’s the problem, or if we should focus more on how to heal from what I did.
Either way, I’m committed to doing whatever I need to do.
A petite woman with bright blue highlights emerges from an office and makes a beeline for Lucy and me. Showtime.
“You must be Sasha and Lucy! I’m Allie. It’s so nice to meet the two of you. Sloane had mentioned you, Sasha, when Kat married Henry. Once I realized you two would be coming to see me, I asked her to stop telling me things. I didn’t want any bias or pre-conceived notions!”
She’s bubbly but not in an annoying way, and Lucy seems relaxed enough.
I hope client confidentiality is strong enough to keep Sloane from finding out all the details of our sessions.
Even if she does, it’s just as likely that Blanche will give out merch for our film for Christmas.
So maybe I can just relax and not think so much about who will find out what.
“Sloane told me about your college days when she recommended you! I hope I can hear your side of her and Ledger’s courtship sometime. She made it seem pretty intense.”
Allie cackles as she leads us into her cozy office, complete with a plush couch and flickering faux candles. “She leaves all the craziest parts of their story out when she tells it. I remember all the juicy bits she likes to pretend never happened!”
As we settle in, accepting Allie’s offer of tea, she notices the fresh tattoo on my wrist. .
“Oh, what a lovely design. It looks like…an abstract sun? I have a few myself, but certainly not as many as you seem to have!”
My shirt does show off both of my full sleeves to full effect. “Thanks! I do have quite a few, since I get one for every kill—”
I realize what I’ve said as Lucy coughs up a mouthful of tea, interrupting me.
Allie manages to hide her reaction, no doubt a reflex after years as a therapist. The awkward silence is not how I wanted to start to start this session.
“This sun is special though, since it represents a theft instead. I stole Lucy’s heart. ”
A beat passes before both women laugh, and Allie seems ready to get us back on track.
“I’d like to start by asking what brought the two of you here today?”
The silence is deafening as Lucy and I look at each other, neither knowing how to explain or where to start. I decide to just go for it.
“Well…Lucy moved here to find out more information about her dad who was never around, and we both ended up working for Blanche Sinclair. We worked together closely—”
“We were her sex avatars in an X-rated film about her and her late husband,” Lucy interrupts. “Then we began a relationship in real life, but Sasha’s family background makes it difficult for him to trust anyone, and he saw me having lunch with an enemy and went ballistic.”
“I’m not sure I would call it ballistic, exactly—”
“You shot a man dead while his hard dick was still in my ass! His dead dick had to slide out of me on his way to the floor!”
Allie, to her credit, keeps her neutral therapist face on and is silent only for a moment before continuing.
“Lucy, how did you feel about him killing a man who was still inside you intimately?”
“Well, initially I thought it was Sasha, but it was actually just a random guy he had brought in to tattoo and pierce me. But, to be completely honest…it was pretty hot.” Lucy gives me a saucy look and pulls her lower lip between her teeth. This minx.
“And, uh, Sasha, how do you feel knowing that Lucy appreciates your murderous tendencies?”
I’m floored is how I feel about it.
“It’s pretty affirming to hear her say that,” I say, tears pooling in my eyes. “I had always assumed that nobody would want to deal with the darker aspects of my family history and what I do for work. To know that she isn’t disgusted or turned off by it all is really validating.”
Allie must decide nothing being said in this session is safe to document and places her notebook and pen to the side. She drains the rest of her tea and takes a deep breath.
“By the darker parts, you mean, the murder, and…?”
“Well, the murder, sure, but also you know, sometimes a little torture to get them to talk. I had been concerned about how discreet I would have to be to make sure Lucy wasn’t exposed to all that—”
“If you stay gone to torture people all the time instead of spending time with me, I’ll never see you! You know I’d rather just come with you. Something about seeing you all worked up is really sexy.”
Lucy is giving me fuck-me eyes again, and Allie isn’t able to stop her jaw from dropping slightly before she recovers with a cough.
“It sounds like the two of you have found common ground with your, uh, interests. I think, if I’m not mistaken, that it was the distrust that presented the initial issues, though? Lucy said there was an incident with her trying to explain herself, and you not believing her?”
I wince, knowing it’s best to address my faults head-on.
“Yeah. It’s what started all this, uh, murdering and fucking, I guess you could say.
I misinterpreted something I saw, and then when Lucy tried to patiently explain herself multiple times, I never let her get a word in.
Then I took revenge on her and tried to make her life hell. ”
Lucy squeezes my hand as I hang my head in shame. “It ended up being really hot, babe. But I do want us to learn how to make sure we don’t miscommunicate like that in the future. I don’t want our future kids to see their parents having unhealthy fights…”
I can’t keep my lips off her when she mentions having my children, and I’m lost in the taste of her when another cough reminds me where we are.
“So let’s discuss tools we can use to ensure you both feel heard…”
Walking out into the dreary day following our session, I’m feeling lighter than I have in a long time. It was hard to relive some of my worst moments, and I have a lot more work to do to be worthy of Lucy, but today was a step in the right direction.
“Do you want to stop for some ice cream before we—”
“Let’s get married.”
Her interruption stops me in my tracks. “Well, we are getting married, baby. I proposed and everything.”
“I mean today. Let’s get married today, and then we can figure the rest out later. There isn’t a marriage license or anything. We can fill everything out within thirty days.”
Thunder cracks, and rain begins to pour on us in the parking lot. I can’t help but laugh at the vision of the two of us, soaking wet and looking like drowned rats, while saying “I do” at the county courthouse. Lucy shrieks and spins, face tilted to the sky.
“Are you sure you don’t want to wait for a nicer day? Maybe when we’re not soaked?”
She stops and fixes me with a stare before gesturing to her now soggy clothes and striking what I think is meant to be a sexy pose. “Are you saying you need anything more than this to marry me?”
Thunder cracks again, and the twinkle in her eyes is unmistakable. She’ll be laughing at me again before I know it, and it could rain every day for the rest of my life, and I wouldn’t care. Pulling her into me, I squeeze her and spin her once more before carrying her to the car.
“Nope, Sunshine. You’re all I need. Let’s go get married.”