Chapter 14
Standing Guard
Reed
Boston winter meant darkness in the early morning hours and well before dawn, I heard the soft pad of small feet on hardwood.
I'd been awake for the past hour—hell, I'd barely slept at all—but I'd at least closed my eyes and tried to rest between listening for every creak and checking the cameras intermittently.
Maliyah's breathing had finally evened out around three. I’d been listening and, in reality I never stopped.
A small figure appeared in the doorway, backlit by the nightlight in the hall. Zoe stopped when she saw me, her head tilting to one side like a confused puppy.
"Why are you on our couch?" she whispered, her voice still thick with sleep.
I sat up, keeping my voice low. "Your mom had trouble sleeping last night, so I came over to help. I didn't want to wake anyone, so I slept out here."
"Oh." She padded closer, her bare feet making soft sounds on the floor. She was wearing pajamas covered in unicorns, and her hair stuck up at odd angles. "Is Mama sick?"
"No, sweetheart. She's just tired. Sometimes grown-ups have trouble sleeping when there’s lots of stuff going on."
"Like when I can't sleep because I’m excited for Santa or the tooth fairy?"
"Sort of like that, yeah."
She launched herself onto the couch with a flying leap. "Oof!" The air rushed from my lungs as her tiny palms smacked against my midsection, her weight surprisingly solid for someone who couldn't weigh more than forty pounds. I instinctively curled forward, catching her before she could bounce off.
She bounced on the cushions, voice rising with excitement.
I pressed a finger to my lips and whispered, "Shh, let's not wake your mom and brother, okay?
"She nodded solemnly, eyes wide, then leaned in close.
Her whisper came out loud enough to wake the neighbors.
"You know what would be really good right now? Pancakes."
I glanced toward Maliyah's bedroom door, which was still firmly closed. She'd been so wound up last night, so scared despite trying to hide it. If I could give her even a couple more hours of uninterrupted sleep, I would.
"I think we can make that work. But you'll have to help me. I don't know where everything is."
Zoe's face lit up and I felt the couch move as she bounced. "I'm a really good helper!"
We made our way to the kitchen, Zoe pointing out where the pans were kept, where the eggs lived in the fridge, and the exact spot where Maliyah kept the "special" spatula that was apparently the only acceptable utensil for flipping the perfect pancake.
"We're not allowed to use the stove," Zoe informed me seriously as I pulled out the carton of eggs. "Only grown-ups can do that part."
"That's a very good rule."
"And for the eggs—because you can’t have pancakes without eggs—you have to crack them into the bowl first, not in the pan. That way there are no shells since mama says shells are 'a nightmare to swish out.'" She said the last part in what was clearly an imitation of Maliyah's voice.
I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing. Fish out, swish out—close enough. I nodded solemnly and met her expert gaze. "That's excellent advice. Thank you for the tip."
Lucas shuffled into the kitchen about ten minutes later, his hair sticking up on one side and his eyes still half-closed. He stopped short when he saw me at the stove, then glanced around like he was trying to figure out if he was still dreaming.
"Morning," I said, keeping my voice quiet.
"Why are you here?" Not hostile, just genuinely confused.
"Your mom couldn't sleep last night, so I came over to help out. Figured I'd let her rest this morning and make you guys some breakfast."
Lucas processed this, then nodded and climbed up onto one of the bar stools. "She does that sometimes. The not sleeping thing."
"Yeah?"
"Usually when she's worried about something." He picked at a small tear in his pajama sleeve. "Is she okay?"
The kid was too perceptive for six—almost seven. "She's fine. Just had a lot on her mind. But that's what I'm here for. To help."
Zoe bounced over to her brother. "Reed's making pancakes!"
"I can see that, dummy."
"Lucas," I said gently. "I don’t think your mom would like it if she heard you call people names, what do you think?"
He had the grace to look sheepish. "She wouldn’t. Sorry, Zoe."
She stuck her tongue out at him, and I decided to let that one slide.
By the time I had eggs, pancakes, and some cut-up fruit arranged on plates, it was almost seven-thirty.
The kids had walked me through every step of their morning routine—how Lucas liked his eggs "not runny," how Zoe needed her pancakes to be shaped inside cookie cutters, how they were supposed to brush their teeth right after eating, and approximately forty other details that seemed crucial to a solid morning routine.
I found myself checking Maliyah's door every few minutes, listening for any sound that she was awake. Part of me wanted her to sleep as long as possible. Another part of me wanted to see her face, to make sure she was really okay.
"Should we wake her up?" Zoe asked around a mouthful of eggs.
"Let her sleep a little longer," I said. "She could use a little extra rest."
Lucas studied me over his orange juice. "Are you going to stay here from now on?"
The question caught me off guard. "What do you mean?"
"Like, since you’re Mom's boyfriend? That’s really why slept over, right? I’m six and three quarters, I see things."
I set down my coffee mug carefully. This felt like important territory, and I didn't want to screw it up or laugh at how serious and fucking adorable this kid was. "Your mom and I are... we care about each other a lot. And I want to be around more, if that's okay with you guys."
"Do you love her?" Zoe asked, her eyes wide and curious.
"Zoe!" Lucas looked mortified. "You can't just ask that!"
My throat felt tight, but I looked her in the eyes and said, "You know, I think I should talk to her about that first. What do you think?"
"Yeah. That’s a good idea."
"So, I know you guys must have some really big questions, and I don't have all the answers yet. But I can tell you that I care about your mom very much, and I care about both of you too."
Lucas looked at me for a long moment, then nodded slowly. "Okay. That's good, for now—I guess."
Zoe leaned forward, her eyes wide with excitement. "Do you want to be a daddy someday?" The question hit me like a bucket of ice water. My mind went blank as I stared at her hopeful little face, and I felt a trickle of sweat run down my back.
"Zoe!" Lucas groaned. "Stop asking so many questions!"
"I'm just wondering!"
I laughed despite myself. "It's okay. I don't mind." I looked at both of them. "How about I just say this—I think you two are really cool and I like spending time with you. Is that good? At least for now?"
Zoe beamed at me, and even Lucas looked pleased, though he tried to hide it behind another sip of orange juice.
Around eight-thirty, I heard movement from Maliyah's room. The kids heard it too and immediately started whispering excitedly.
"Should we surprise her?"
"We should stay quiet so she doesn't know Reed made breakfast and we already ate it!"
"That's not a surprise, she's gonna see when she comes out, dummy."
"Lucas!" I warned again.
He sighed. "Sorry. But she will see you."
"Fair point, but no name calling, yeah?"
A few minutes later, Maliyah's bedroom door opened.
She emerged looking rumpled and disoriented, her hair loose around her shoulders and her eyes still heavy with sleep.
She was wearing the same oversized Red Sox t-shirt from last night and sleep shorts that showed off her legs in a way that made me forget how to form coherent thoughts for a moment.
She stopped short when she saw the three of us at the kitchen table, her eyes moving from the kids to me to the empty plates.
"What time is it?" Her voice was rough with sleep.
"After eight," I said. "You needed the rest."
"You..." She looked around, taking in the clean kitchen, the kids already dressed—wait, when had they gotten dressed? I'd helped Lucas find clean clothes about twenty minutes ago while Zoe had insisted she could dress herself—hadn’t even noticed that they’d done it all themselves. "You made breakfast?"
"Reed cooks really good!" Zoe announced.
"He let me have two pieces of bacon," Lucas added.
Maliyah's eyes found mine, and I saw something shift in her expression. Something soft and vulnerable that made my chest ache.
"I figured you could use the extra sleep," I said. "The kids walked me through everything. I'm pretty sure I got most of it right."
She moved into the kitchen, and I stood to pour her a cup of coffee.
When I went to hand it to her, she stepped into me and wrapped her arms around my midsection.
I put the coffee down on the counter behind her, my hand brushing against the warm ceramic.
Her forehead pressed against my chest, and I felt her exhale against my shirt.
My arms found their place around her—one wrapping lightly around her head with my hand buried in her hair, the other around shoulders holding her tightly against me. The kids' chatter faded to background noise as we stood there, neither of us speaking, her fingers gripping the back of my shirt.
She stepped back and leaned her forehead on my chest for a moment before she looked up at me and whispered, "Thank you.
" Reaching for her mug, she stayed close enough to me that I could still feel her warmth radiating between us.
She cradled the mug between both palms, inhaled the steam rising from the surface, and closed her eyes as she took that first essential sip.
"No thanks are needed. I wanted to." I glanced at the kids, who were watching us with unabashed interest.
"Reed didn't know about the special spatula," Zoe informed her mother. "But I showed him."
"Of course you did, baby." Maliyah's voice was thick with emotion, and I saw her blink rapidly a few times.
"Why don't you two go brush your teeth?" I suggested to the kids. "I think I heard something about the library later?"
"The library!" Zoe jumped up, nearly knocking over her orange juice in her excitement. "Can Reed come with us?"
Lucas looked hopeful too, though he tried to play it cool. "Yeah, that would be okay, I guess."
"We'll see," Maliyah said. "Go brush your teeth first. Both of you."
Once the kids had thundered off to the bathroom, Maliyah sagged against the counter. I moved closer, close enough to see the faint purple shadows under her eyes.
"Hey," I said softly. "You okay?"
"I slept," she said, like she couldn't quite believe it. "I actually slept."
"I know. I checked on you a few times."
"Did you stay up all night?"
"Most of it. Couldn't really sleep anyway." I reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Figured if one of us was going to be awake, it might as well be me."
"Thank you," she whispered. "For being here. For letting me rest. For taking care of my kids."
"Wouldn’t be anywhere else," I said.
"Maaaaaama! Lucas is hogging the sink!"
Maliyah laughed, the sound slightly watery but genuine. "Welcome to my life."
"I like your life," I said honestly.
"Even the chaos?"
"Especially the chaos."
She kissed me again, quick and light, then went to referee the bathroom situation. I finished putting a plate together for Maliyah, feeling oddly domestic and not hating it even a little bit.
When she came back with both kids in tow—teeth brushed, faces washed, and only mildly bickering—she looked more like herself. Still tired, but steadier.
"So," she said. "Library?"
"If you're up for it."
I watched her consider, saw the moment she squared her shoulders and made a decision. "Yeah. I'm not letting yesterday keep us locked inside. We go to the library on the weekends. That's what we do."
I slid the plate across the counter toward her—pancakes that were supposed to look like dinosaurs, fluffy scrambled eggs, and two strips of bacon. "Eat first, then let's go," I said, watching her eyes widen at the sight. "Can't face the library on an empty stomach."
Lucas pumped his fist. "Yes! Reed can help carry the books!"
"That's literally the only reason we're bringing him," Maliyah said with a straight face, and I laughed.
"Hey! I can offer other services too. Like... I don't know, reaching high shelves?"
"Ooh, that's useful," she teased. "Okay, you can come."
As the kids ran off to gather their library books, Maliyah caught my hand. "Seriously though. Thank you. For everything."
"Maliyah, You don't have to keep thanking me."
"I know. But I'm going to anyway." She squeezed my fingers. "Last night was... I was really scared, Reed. And you didn't try to take over. You just... stayed."
"I'm not going anywhere," I said. "Even when you're scared. Especially then."
She nodded, blinking hard. "Okay. Good. Because I think we're going to need that."
Zoe came racing back into the room, arms full of books. "Ready!"
Lucas followed at a more sedate pace, his own stack of books tucked under one arm. "I’m ready too."
"Then let's go," Maliyah said, and the smile she gave me was full of hope and promise and just a little bit of fear that she was trying to be brave about.
I grabbed my jacket and followed them toward the door, watching Maliyah double-check the locks and pocket her phone. She was still on guard, still watching for threats. But she was trying to live her life anyway.
And I was going to be right there beside her while she did.