Chapter 38 #2
I had an idea. Taking coffee and adding it to a chocolate protein shake with ice, I hoped it would make it more palatable.
Tasting it, I was impressed enough to make one for myself, in solidarity with my girl.
I loaded everything onto a small tray—two iced protein coffee shakes and her measured medication doses.
My mind kept replaying her words. I'm not ready to forgive you yet. But I'm not pushing you away either. I knew winning the trust back from Lucas and Zoe was going to be a major undertaking too.
I'd failed them. While Maliyah was an adult—she could understand fear, could rationalize my choices even if they hurt. But the kids? Kids didn't understand nuance. They understood presence and absence. Promises kept and promises broken.
I'd let them down. I knew this was obviously going to take more than an apology. It was going to take time. Consistency. Proving that I meant it when I said I wasn't going anywhere.But first, my goal is helping Maliyah get through today. Then tomorrow. Then the day after that.
One day at a time. I carried the tray back to her room and paused in the doorway.
She was sitting up against the wedge pillow, phone in hand. Even with her hair in a messy bun and wearing just an oversized shirt and leggings, she was stunning. One leg lay exposed on the covers while she'd bunched the stolen comforter across her lap, using it as a stand for her phone.
I caught myself staring at her. Even with purple-yellow bruises and stitches mapping her face, she was beautiful in her vulnerability—a living testament to survival.
I've never known anyone as strong as Maliyah. After everything Bryce took from her—her voice, her safety—she's still standing. Not broken. I want to be the one who helps her rebuild, not because she needs me, but because she deserves someone who won't walk away again.
The words sat heavy in my chest—three simple words that felt impossibly complex after everything we'd been through.
I had no right to expect her to believe me, not yet, but I would spend every day proving it until she did.
Until Maliyah knew, without a shadow of doubt, that she was the center of my world.
She glanced up, caught me watching, and her hand rose halfway to her face before stopping. Her eyes darted away as her shoulders tensed. Something twisted in my chest—I wanted to be the man who made her forget those injuries, who showed her that nothing could dim how beautiful she was to me.
"I have a surprise for you. The best of both worlds—mocha latte!"
At her surprised look and small quirk of her lips, I acquiesced, "Okay, chocolate protein shake with coffee. But, you know—same difference."
Skeptical as my girl was, she wasn't giving an inch, and rolled her eyes while nodding toward the nightstand. Instead of putting it on the nightstand though, I handed her the glass saying, "just try it. You may be surprised!"
She rolled her eyes but held out her hands. I watched as she took a cautious first sip, nose scrunched in anticipation. Her eyes popped open. She took another sip, then met my gaze with a surprised smile.
"Better than expected?" I asked.
She nodded, then reached for her phone. This is a winner! Thank you.
I couldn't help the swell of satisfaction that rose in my chest. My smile stretched wide as I settled onto the edge of the bed beside her, both of us sipping our drinks in tandem.
Neither of us spoke for several minutes, but there was nothing awkward about it—just the quiet rhythm of two people who didn't need words to fill the space between them.
Finally, she typed: What time is it?
"Almost seven."
You should sleep. Real sleep, not on my bed.
"I'm okay."
Reed.
There was something in the way she typed my name—even just seeing it on the screen—that made my chest tight.
"I'll sleep later," I said. "Right now, I want to make sure you're settled." I picked up the dosage cups with her meds in them and handed her the first one. "Time for the morning cocktail of joy."
She wrinkled her nose but held out her hand for the small cup of liquid medication. I watched her swallow each dose one by one, her face twisting at the taste.
"All done," I said, taking the empty cups. "Need anything else? More pillows? Different blanket? An online order form for your next made-to-order protein shake?"
The corner of her mouth twitched. Almost a smile. Just tired. Going to try to sleep more.
"Okay. I'll be in the living room if you need anything. Just text or bang on the wall."
I will.
I turned to leave, but a soft sound from her throat stopped me. I turned back.
Thank you. For everything. For being here.
"I'll be here," I said quietly. "As long as you need me." Turning toward the door, I whispered under my breath—"forever, hopefully."
I left the door cracked and headed back to the living room. Sitting on the couch, I pulled out my phone. Seven AM. Felicity would be getting the kids ready for school soon. I should text her, let her know Maliyah was okay after the nightmare.
Me: She had a rough night but she's doing better now. Nightmare.
It wasn’t long before the three dots started jumping and Felicity’s message came through.
Felicity: Poor thing. How are YOU doing?
Me: I'm okay. Just want to make sure she's comfortable.
Felicity: You're good for her, Reed. I believe you when you say you’re not going to run again. Just keep showing up. She'll get there.
I stared at that message for a long moment before responding.
Me: Thank you. I don’t deserve your faith, but I’ll keep proving myself. I'm trying to show her. That's all I can do right now.
Felicity: That's all she needs. Keep showing up.
Reed: I will. I’ll keep you posted on how she’s doing.
I leaned back on the couch and looked around the apartment. The morning light was streaming through the windows now, making everything look softer, more hopeful.
This was going to be a long road. Weeks of recovery for Maliyah. Months of rebuilding trust with her. And even longer with Lucas and Zoe—if they'd even give me the chance.
But I was all in. Finally, completely, terrifyingly all in.
Back then, I'd stood in front of Maliyah and promised I was all in.
The words had felt true when they left my mouth, but they'd been hollow—a promise made by a man who didn't understand what he was promising.
Now, with her bruised and healing under my watch, I finally grasped what those two small words demanded of me.
All in meant staying when it was hard. When she had nightmares. When she couldn't forgive me yet. When the kids looked at me with confusion or hurt. When the fear crept back in and whispered that I should run.
All in meant showing up. Every day. No matter what. All in meant trusting that I'm enough for them and they know they're more than enough for me.
This was going to work. It had to work. Because losing her once had nearly destroyed me.
I wasn't going to survive losing her twice.
And I sure as hell wasn't going to put Lucas and Zoe through that again.
So, I'll keep showing up. One day at a time. I’d show them every day that I will always be all in.