Didi
Ididn’t go to the bleachers the next day, or all week. I also avoided the library. After Tommy kissed me, and my interaction with Remy after school, where I almost kissed him, it’s best I keep my distance from both of them.
Everyone is still on edge with me. I feel it in their glares, whispers, every stare as I walk by the yellow lockers in the hallway. They act as if I’m the one who murdered that poor boy when all I’m doing is existing.
I refused to look at Tommy or Remy in math class because their stares cut too deep. Both brooding, and both watching me the same dark way.
Tommy seems wounded that I’m ignoring him—pouting about it, really. Remy hides behind his dark leather, despite his perfect white teeth.
Before class ended today, Remy walked by and slipped a piece of paper onto my desk and walked out, his boots crunching the ground beneath him.
I grabbed it and slid it into my pocket, then left the classroom as quickly as possible and went to the girl’s washroom where I’ve spent my lunch hours.
“Where do you think she goes during lunch?” Cindy and her friends walk into the bathroom where I’ve been sitting in the stall, reading and eating saltines for the past half hour.
Yesterday, I went into FreshMart and asked for a job. Mrs. Holly, who owns the place, said she couldn’t afford to pay me. I offered to work for a jar of honey and some crackers, so she agreed and said I could come back today.
I watch them through the slit in the stall and swallow down the pit of jealousy as it bubbles into my throat. She’s beautiful and natural, the way her cheeks have a hint of color and her eyes don’t look like the pits of hell.
The perfectly devout preacher’s daughter.
Like I was supposed to be.
Cindy’s friend says, “Who knows, just as long as she’s not with Tommy or Remy. What do you think they see in her? I think she’s evil.”
She shrugs and fixes her hair in the mirror. “I don’t know, but I had them first. I think she might have lured him under those bleachers with a spell. If I see her again, I’m gonna get her good.”
I don’t feel evil; I don’t feel anything, really. My life has numbed me. I’m trapped in a body I didn’t ask for and a belt that serves as a prison. And I certainly don’t know any spells.
“Cindy… What do you mean, you had them first?”
Her cheeks fire bright red. “Nothing…”
Them? As in both of them?
My heart sinks and stomach twists at the thought of Cindy with both of them. What does that even mean?
“I, for one, refuse to look her in the eye. I bet that’s how she bewitches them.”
I suck in a breath, and they both whip their heads in my direction.
“Who’s in here?” Cindy asks, and for a moment, I’m worried she will peek under the stall.
I cough and try to sound normal, like I’m here doing my business.
Cindy pulls her friend’s arm away. “Who cares. Let’s go.”
I sit perfectly still until the door shuts, and I blow out a breath. When I’m sure they aren’t coming back, I place my textbook in my bag, get up, walk to the sink basin and wash my hands. Eventually, I meet my gaze and stare up at my freakishly white hair and eyes in the mirror.
I grab my braids and pull them out, letting my hair flow the way Tommy likes it.
I tilt my head and blink—hardly recognizing myself anymore. My hair matches the fluorescent lights flickering above me, which is a stark contrast to the dark and dingy yellow paint that covers the walls.
Honestly, I don’t mind what I see. My hand roams to my breast feeling how full they’ve gotten over the past couple weeks. I get why Tommy likes me, and Remy, too, since he’s been leaving me notes and watching me. I can’t get that intense interaction with Remy out of my head.
The thought of them makes me hate what I just did. Eating saltine crackers on a toilet while daydreaming about the sandwich Tommy probably brought for me today.
No more…
Praying no one comes in, I tug up my dress and wince. I grab a paper towel, rinse it, and dab the area around my blisters to keep it clean. I can’t take much more of this. Mama has to let me go, or it might be the death of me.
I finally grab the note Remy left me on my desk.
Meet me in the library at lunch. I’ll be waiting for you.
I read the words and rip up the note before throwing the pieces in the trash and decide which one of them to visit tomorrow.
When I’m alone with Tommy, I will kiss him; it’s inevitable. He makes me feel too pretty, and his lips are so darn kissable. When I’m alone with Remy… I’m not sure what I will do. Remy makes me feel things…confusing thoughts of death and darkness. The pull he has on me scares me.
I doubt Remy is the killer everyone suspects. However, he’s hiding something and seems to want something from me. Both of them do. And I want to learn what those secrets are.