Chapter 22 #3
“He did, actually. He never stopped reaching out to me. When I got my own phone, he would call and text. He came to see me every year on my birthday, no matter how much I pretended I didn’t want to see him. But it was never enough for me.”
“He wanted to make it right.”
“He wanted to fix his mistake… I was the mistake.”
“No, my husband.” She pressed her hand on his cheek. “You are the blessing, the most amazing blessing.”
“I’m glad you think so.” He turned his attention to the stove again, settling back like he was finished. But she wanted to know more.
“When we dated, you said he wasn’t in your life. Was that not true?”
When Ethan didn’t respond, she feared she’d pushed too hard. “I’m sorry. I would like to know more, if you ever want to talk about it.” She settled against his side again, choosing to be content with his company if not his stories.
A few minutes passed in silence, and then her husband sighed. “It’s kind of embarrassing, honestly.”
“What is?”
“When I was seventeen, I decided to go see where he lived. I wasn’t going to go to his house and knock on the door or anything.
I just wanted to see. I went through my mother’s computer and got his address.
I saved the money and bought a ticket. I told my mom I was staying at a friend’s house for the weekend, and then that friend drove me to the airport. I got on a flight to Maine.”
She had never been to Maine, but she’d heard it was very pretty.
“Mom called the friend’s mother for some reason—I don’t even remember why. When she figured out I’d lied, she and his mom got my friend to tell them what I was doing. And then Mom called Dad. He was at the airport when I got there.”
Mei Lin couldn’t help it. She shifted to see his face. “You were very angry.”
“I guess.” Something in his expression told him it was more than that.
“You were betrayed again, this time by your friend. And your mother.”
Ethan met her eyes. “It’s probably not fair, but that was how I felt.”
“It is fair to feel that way. Was your father angry?”
“No. He was kind, acted like he was happy I was there. He took me to see a lighthouse and the coast, asked me if I wanted to go swimming. It was summer, but it wasn’t warm enough to swim—especially in that frigid water.
He took me to a place where I could pick out my own lobster from a tank, which I thought was a little gruesome—here, decide which one of these little guys should die. ”
“That is terrible.”
“Right. But the lobster was exceptional.”
She laughed. “That’s all that matters.”
“Yeah.” His smile faded. “It was a good day. He told me a little bit about his family—not his wife and daughters, but his parents and the apple farm where he’d grown up.
He told me his father and his brother were both physicians.
And then he sort of tilted his head to one side and said, ‘You remind me of them. Have you ever thought about going to medical school?’ And the weird thing was, I had.
Gavin told me he’d pay for it, if I decided to go. ”
“It sounds like a lovely day.”
“It was. And then he told me he couldn’t take me to his house because his daughters didn’t know about me. He apologized, took all the blame for everything, but said he couldn’t hurt them that way.”
“Ouch. Those words hurt me. What did you say?”
“I acted like I didn’t care. I was all… ‘Whatever. I didn’t want to meet them anyway.’” Ethan’s voice mocked his teenage self. “‘Just thought I’d come to Maine, you know…’ As if a lot of teenage boys ran away to Portland, Maine, for no good reason.”
“I’m sorry, Ethan.”
“I think I turned out all right.”
“You turned out beautifully, and I’m glad your father knows how amazing you are. And how much he missed by not being in your life.”
Ethan angled to study her. “I wonder if he feels that way.”
“He does. He did a bad thing, but God made something beautiful with it. Your father knows this, of course.”
Ethan tipped his head to the side. “That’s a very generous way to look at it.”
“You see it differently?”
“I did. I took his money for college and med school but barely spoke to him. In fact, I hadn’t spoken to him for five years before…”
She didn’t ask, just waited for him to finish his sentence.
“He was in the CIA. When we got word that you…” He swallowed. “I called him and asked him to find you. I told him I needed confirmation. I needed to know where you were, to find where you’d been buried.”
“Oh. That must have been… I’m sorry.”
“For getting thrown in prison?” He kissed her nose.
“Anyway, Gavin… I know he tried. I think he wanted to give me something I could use, to help me. I think he thought if he could just give me the information I needed, maybe I’d…
I don’t know. Let him back into my life.
But he couldn’t learn anything at all. When he came to see me, it was to tell me that with no contradictory information, I had to accept that you were gone. ”
He snuggled her close, breathing deeply as if he wanted to inhale her scent. “I’ve never been so happy to be wrong.”
Mei Lin let herself be held, trying to imagine how it would feel to believe her husband had died. Would she ever be able to move on?
Had Ethan?