CHAPTER 23
It was just Ulric and me in the private dining room tonight; Zendryk was still at whatever meeting he was called to earlier. If it were the one that the Queen had come from, who knows what happened?
“Important meeting?” I asked while taking a spoonful of the most delicious apple cheddar soup.
“Must be.” He took a sip of his wine.
“You are just full of answers, aren’t you?”
“I am.” Another sip.
Curiosity was beginning to agitate me, especially with no answers from Ulric, and my leg started to shake under the table.
The doors to the room flew open and bounced off the walls behind them as Zendryk stormed in.
He yanked his chair out and slammed down into it, while a servant ran over and poured him a glass of wine, which he took and devoured in one gulp.
The servant poured him another drink, and he picked it up and drank that one too.
“That good of a meeting, Zen?” Ulric joined him and finished off his drink, and the servant refilled his glass before heading back to the drink table.
“As always.” Another gulp of his drink.
“What are they doing this time?” Ulric asked.
“Later.” That's all Zendryk said before finishing off the third glass of wine.
We were quiet the rest of dinner, and they finished off two more bottles of wine between them. Ulric excused himself after a servant girl walked by the doors and smiled at him. He hurried out chasing her like a lost little puppy, and I laughed at my own play on words.
“Care to share what’s so funny?” He hadn’t said a single word to me all night.
“Nothing.” I blatantly replied.
“It’s obviously nothing if you laughed.” He was tense, and I could feel the tension rising in the room.
A servant came over to top off his glass, but he waved them away, holding my gaze, unblinking.
“It was just a funny thought, nothing serious.” I shrugged my shoulders and took a bite of the lemon tart on my plate, slowly pulling the fork out of my mouth, staring right back at him.
If he was going to be an ass, then I was going to make him suffer. He continued to stare at me, and I continued to be unbothered. If he doesn’t want to share why he was in a bad mood, then I am not going to be bothered by it, which seemed to irritate him more.
“Are we doing power training tonight?” I asked as I took another bite.
“No.” He responded flatly.
“Oh well, I guess I have my evening free. I might go for a walk then.” I licked the tip of my fork, catching the last remnants of the lemon sauce on the tip of my tongue.
“Take a guard.” That was all he said, and he stood and left the room.
I guess I wouldn’t be inviting him then. Well, I wouldn’t want to be around his grumpy ass anyway. I wondered what had gotten him so angry. He was usually joyful and full of life, and tonight it was smothered.
I found myself walking through the gardens under the moonlight.
It skimmed across the flowers lining the walkway, lending the stone path a faint, lifelike shimmer.
Small fire bugs danced around the bushes, flashing on and off, and I walked towards the pathway to the willow tree at the edge of the property.
He told you to take a guard.
Oh, goody me. The voice was back and agreed with the Prince. He did, and I didn’t. I fired back.
Where are your swords?
Was it asking questions now? It won’t answer any of mine, so why should I answer its questions? So, I responded with silence.
Where are they?!
Was everyone agitated tonight? I sighed, giving in, not wanting to piss off…… whatever this was. They are in my room.
You should ALWAYS have them on you.
Was it serious? They are a little big to carry around and a little hard to hide.
Silence.
The frustration from Zendryk's bad mood, and now … this thing's bad mood, started to affect my mood. I needed to calm down and breathe in some of the night air to clear my head. I thought that last part a little louder, hoping it got the subtle hint. The willow tree parted for me as I walked towards it. I didn’t know if I would ever get used to this. The grass under the tree hadn’t been trimmed for a while, and small white wildflowers were entangled throughout it.
I lay down on the ground and reached my arms up to rest under my head.
The night sky peeked through the branches and leaves, swinging with the melody of the chirping bugs.
The stars burned brightly tonight, mirroring the wildflowers beneath me, both freckled with white.
Everything was so peaceful here, so quiet.
This place, this was my sanctuary. I let out a heavy sigh of relief, letting the last couple of weeks escape my body with each breath I took, and the heavy weight that had been sitting on my chest fell away.
The nights were cool, but I didn’t mind; when you didn’t have much money, and the choice was new clothes or food, food always won.
I wished there were some way I could send some of this to my mother, to the village.
I wished there was some way I could save Maya from Jane.
I wished I could stop staring at Zendryk, instead of always savoring him like a feast set out before me.
I sighed again. The feelings were there; he was the most gorgeous man I had ever seen, but he also had a wicked sense of humor, and in a world that was so serious, I needed to laugh.
“I thought I told you to take a guard.” Speaking of Mr. Serious.
I looked to where the willow tree had parted again, to find Zendryk standing there, arms crossed, and brows furrowed.
“You did, and I didn’t.” I looked back at the stars, ignoring his mood.
“There are things and people out there who want us dead! And you just decided not to take a guard?!” He walked closer to me; his voice was tense.
“I’m fine. I needed some space and to clear my head.” I didn’t look in his direction.
“And you couldn’t do that with a guard?!” He was getting closer.
I sat up and shot him a look of anger, feeling it rise in my chest, “Unlike you, I wasn’t raised with someone shadowing me everywhere!
Did you ever stop to think how difficult this was for me?
Going from serving to being served? I was lucky enough if we had enough food to eat once a day when I was in the village, and here?
! The food is ample and everywhere. Hungry?
Just raise a hand and a buffet is brought to you!
All that food for one meal could feed an entire village for a month, and here it was, just in case we felt like eating that.
I have so much guilt every time I eat, I wonder if my mother was able to eat that day.
” The words exploded from my mouth, and tears started to betray me; the emotions of the last couple of weeks, hell, the last couple of years, were finally hitting their breaking point.
The anger vanished from his face, and sorrow settled in its place instead. His eyes drifted down to where the tears were now running down my cheeks, and he took a step forward, reaching a hand out to wipe them away.
“Don’t,” I said, and he stopped, his hand lowering back to his side.
His touch already sends electricity through my body, and with such raw emotions, I didn’t trust myself to let him touch me. I didn’t know if I could hold myself back anymore. I wanted more. I wanted him. But he was the Prince, my mind was telling me no, while my heart and body pleaded otherwise.
Was that hurt lacing his eyes? Was he wounded because I didn’t let him touch me? I wiped the tears away with the backs of my hands.
“Sorry, it’s just been…. A lot lately.” I sniffled and took a deep breath.
“It’s okay, I understand it can be overwhelming.” He was so calm now. The calm demeanor that I was used to.
I lay back down and closed my eyes.
“May I lie with you?” He asked.
My heart jumped and skipped a beat. Stop that, Avyn, I scolded myself, but I was so tired of fighting it. Fuck it.
“Yeah, that’s fine.” I kept my eyes closed, but I could hear the grass and wildflowers crumple beneath his body as he lay down beside me.
The smell of cedar and oak filled the air around me, and it was intoxicating, making it hard not to roll over and touch him.
I banished the thought and opened my eyes to focus on the branches and leaves waving back and forth in the night's air. We didn’t say anything for a while and just lay there in each other's company.
I finally gathered up enough courage and rolled over onto my arm, propping my head up with my hand. “Did you want to talk about your meeting? You seemed a little… tense at dinner.”
He rolled onto his side, matching my posture. “Not really, my parents, the King and queen…”
I rolled my eyes. “I know who your parents are.”
He laughed with a sincere smile that melted my heart, “I know, I’m just gathering my thoughts. They are trying to… decide my future for me. They are trying to tell me what I need to do.”
“Well, they are the King and queen, kind of hard to argue with them.” Another laugh, this one louder, echoing through the night, and I joined him.
His laugh was infectious, rich, and full of life.
“I just always thought being a Prince, I would be able to make my own decisions, but the older I get, the more I can see that will never happen. I am just a pawn in their game.” His smile faded away.
“Aren’t we all pawns in some sort of game?” My smile followed his.
He looked at me, he really looked at me, and the small dimple between his eyebrows appeared as he concentrated on his thoughts, then it vanished.
“Do you ever just want to run away?” He started playing with a blade of grass between his fingers, weaving it in and out. Entranced with his fingers, I wondered what they could do.
“Avyn?”
Shit. “Yeah, I’ve always wanted to, but they taught us at The Academy not to even try. They said that anyone who tried to run away would be sentenced to death.”
“Damn, really?” Was he shocked?
“Yeah. They were big on punishment there. There was one time my…. You could say sassy demeanor… got the better of me, and I was supposed to have my hand smashed as a consequence.”