Chapter 35
The shadowed cavern thrummed with power. Light emanated only from the dark walls. The room heated as energy pulsed around him. Connor had no doubt that Daya was correct in her assertion that the mountain could kill him.
Kneeling, he unwrapped the ancient armor and laid it on the ground. A peace offering, he hoped.
A threatening lash of power wrapped around him. Not yours.
Though he knew it was likely only in his mind, the voice seemed to shake straight out of the earth itself. Then again… maybe it wasn’t just in his mind.
Not mine. Connor agreed quickly. My ancestors safeguarded it, but I cannot return it to its rightful place—to Moriah. So I’m entrusting it to you instead.
The energy lessened to a low rumble and a feeling of gratitude emanated for a moment. What do you want?
I… Connor’s confidence wavered as the power in the cavern pushed at him. More questioning than threatening, it still shoved at him harshly. You asked me once what I was willing to give. I’m ready to answer.
Do not need you.
Images of Daya and Veda, even the hawks pressed into his mind as well as the mountain itself. It was true. The family of guardians didn’t need him, though he desperately wanted that. Wanted to protect them.
Resolve bolstered him and he clenched his jaw.
Yes, you do, he thought forcefully at the presence. But I don’t want to be your guardian.
The pile of armor at his knees sparked blindingly for an instant before winking out. The cavern filling with oppressive darkness once more.
A protector, Hannelore assessed.
Yes, Connor responded.
A man he’d had never met materialized in his mind. Pale hair and bright eyes of the deep north shone brightly. Furs cloaked a body covered in the mineral laden armor. A sword with a hilt of the same stone was strapped to his back. Gedeon of Moriah.
Moriah’s shield, Hannelore agreed. Willing to give as he did?
A myriad of images played through his mind of Gedeon’s life and eventual death. Connor fought to match the images to the question Hannelore posed.
I am willing to live and die as a protector, yes.
Power lapped around him in restless consideration.
The world is dangerous. Unsteady, Connor pressed. Many seek to destroy magic. And the people of the earth who wield it. My mother was a blade. I am a shield. Your shield, if you’ll have me. Their shield.
Connor pressed the same images of Daya, Veda, and the hawks back to Hannelore but added more.
Opal, Neka. Marin, Sarai, and all the children who’d come through the refugee program.
The stone healing space in the valley outside the chamber.
The lookout ridge on the mountain he loved.
Even the crumbled fortress further beyond.
A sense of agreement and triumph surrounded him. Then come. Test your true essence.
The energy that had been holding him still, keeping him on his knees while the mountain judged him, released suddenly and sent him crashing to the ground. He caught himself with his hands and quickly rose.
Turbulent energy began to swirl around the room, concentrating into a dark wall in front of him. The lights around him sparked brighter in his peripheral vision. With a steadying breath, he stepped through the veil of shadows.
For an instant, his magic flickered with a single sensation. Home. Then the shadows swirled in a vortex of wind and swept his magic away.
It left him in a rush, stripped away from his soul as his life essence began to untwine.
Fire blazed over every bit of his body, burning away who he once was.
Every shred of his being, from his clothing to the blood in his veins disappearing.
Sensation overwhelmed him as he was consumed by the power and shadows.
He screamed in pain, beginning to lose himself as fear seared what was left of his soul.
Shadows are safety. A vestige of remembered magic remained in his consciousness. He stopped fighting the pain and fear and instead focused on the shadows, seeking the earth the way he’d done countless times.
Power slammed into him and rebuilt him, and he felt himself falling. He wrapped the shadows of the earth around himself as he fell.
The air stopped its horrendous assault, and the fire faded. His body felt raw and battered. Worse than any battle he’d ever fought. How was it possible to feel broken and whole at the same time?
His eyes stung as he opened them. Dim, amber light infused the room. Barely enough to see by. A glint of metal drew his attention, and he shifted enough to see a sword. His sword?
Wincing, he sat up and reached for the sword.
Dragged it through the soft earth. It was his sword, but the hilt had been changed to the black mineral.
His mother’s amethyst stone sat where it always had.
Relief coursed through him. The mountain hadn’t destroyed his past or his connections.
Just transformed him. His memory, too, was intact. Clearer than it had ever been.
Across the room, he saw a new set of the enhanced armor, made for him. Staggering up, he went and picked it up.
You are mine now. Shield of Hannelore.
I am.
Welcome home.
A sense of rightness, of belonging, swirled within him. Home.
Passing through another veil of shadow, Connor left the transformation chamber he’d woken in. The dark mist caressed his bare skin as he walked through, shimmering over his senses pleasantly.
A short hall led to another chamber, though this one wasn’t barred by a veil of shadow. Steam rose from a small pool of water, looking blissfully warm to his trembling muscles.
Better yet, a familiar dark-haired beauty sat at the edge of the pool, her back to him.
He reached for her instinctively, as he’d wanted to do since the moment they’d met. The wall blocking her from him was gone, and he could feel her soul radiating brightly.
Dayanara.
Connor! Leaping up, she spun around and came to him with arms open.
Dropping the armor and the sword, he caught her and held her to him. Pressing his lips to hers, he kissed her deeply. Feeling like he’d finally earned the right to keep her.
Raiden. I’m Raiden now. He felt the rightness, the truth of it in his soul.
I don’t care what name you use, as long as I get to keep you. Daya’s voice filled his mind as she kissed him. I love you. I’m sorry I didn’t say it before. I couldn’t. I love you.
I love you too, anaiah.
Kissing her once more, he squeezed her hand and turned toward the pool. He groaned as the heat immediately began to work against his aching body as he lowered himself into the water. The scent of damp earth and minerals surrounded him as he rested his head back against the wall.
Daya sat on the edge behind him and ran her fingers through his hair. Soothing peace came with her touch, and he relaxed fully as he rested against her. The stress and anxiety of the process leeching from his muscles into the water.
You need another haircut, she murmured fondly.
Hmm?
Your hair.
He paid attention to the feel of her fingers trailing through it and realized it was longer. Significantly longer. He’d shorn it before they left Calderre, but it felt as if it had grown out for months.
I don’t understand.
Time moves a little differently when you’re with Hannelore. Sometimes it feels like it doesn’t move at all. Sometimes life forever has passed. Her warm presence shimmered in his mind. Are you really okay? The process can be intense.
Intense? His throat was raw from screaming, so he responded mentally. That was the most incredible, horrible… He really couldn’t describe it. It felt like burning alive. The fear, the pain. I wasn’t sure I was going to make it.
Daya’s sharp intake of breath and her hands tightening against his head told him didn’t have quite the same memory he did. It had been hundreds of years for her, but he doubted if he would ever forget the sensation of rebirth.
Her arms slid around his neck, hands resting protectively over his heart. He remembered her fears. What had happened to Draven. He reached up to cover her wrist.
I’m here, Daya. I’m okay.
Her arms tightened around him, and she dropped her head to his without comment. He could feel the intensity of emotion consuming her through the bond. Her fears about what could have happened overwhelming her.
I made it, Daya. All my warrior training helped prepare me to withstand the intensity of it all. I honestly don’t know how you and Veda survived it.
Not the same, Hannelore responded.
He felt Daya’s surprise across their connection. He was a shield, not a guardian. Was there really that big of a difference between what they’d gone through?
You fought. Hannelore sounded amused by his silent question. Protectors always fight. It is your nature. Guardians come… joyfully. As one.
Daya and Veda both had earth magic, so maybe that made a difference. Not to mention, their relationship with Hannelore seemed almost harmonious compared to his. Guardians are one… are bound with you… differently than protectors.
Hannelore rumbled in agreement.
Good. It had upset him thinking Veda had gone through the same intense destruction and rebuilding during her transformation.
Instinctively, he reached for his own magic. The familiar well of power was there, but it was greater. Different. Some still came from his soul as it had before, but the rest came from a new source, outside of him.
Some kept. Some transformed, Hannelore answered his unasked question. As were you.
He smiled, looking forward to learning his new magic. Maybe Neka would help him with that. How come I can’t connect to Ember and the others?
I’ve been blocking them for you, Daya responded. I’ll open it when you’re ready.
Not yet. There was so much he needed to learn, but there was time. So much time. I love being completely connected to you. He’d never get tired of the closeness.
Maybe not to me. But wait until Ember and Ereven start bickering. It gets exhausting, I promise you.