Epilogue
A flower wilts…
There was no ‘after’ her. Alandris’s love, his soul, had been ripped from his chest, leaving nothing more than a hollow void. He’d promised to wait, and he’d meant it with every fiber of his being, but he couldn’t guarantee how much of him would remain by the time she returned. He could already feel pieces of himself being sliced away in layers. Everything he’d shared with only her. Vulnerability. Hope. In their place, a wall was erected, the same one he’d always used to shield himself... before her.
He could hardly remember an existence before her. In their short time together, she had upended his life, shattered the idea of everything he thought he knew. Everything he believed he desired. His motivations for wanting to become an Arch Magus had been selfish, childish, even. He sought freedom from his family ties, reveled in his rebellion. It was she who had shown him the good he could do with such a title. One glance into her ruby eyes had painted him a vision of their future so masterfully detailed he’d known exactly what he needed to do.
As much as he wanted to collapse, to continue sobbing over her lifeless body and succumb to his grief, he understood he needed to get back to Amorphael. He would never be able to reunite with his lover if he failed to complete the Fae’s ‘favor’ and was turned into a mindless thrall for her amusement. That damned flower needed to find its way back, and they’d discovered the perfect shortcut. Before...
Alandris looked over to the ash-covered ground where the burned body lay. If he had not hesitated, things might have been different. But he hadn’t wanted to show such a cruel and ruthless side of himself to Nairu. He had been holding on to the hope that Kallistra would surrender once she realized she was outmatched. His intention was to spare Nairu the sight of what his magic could do. He had never expected Kallistra to... And in his rage, he’d done it, anyway—let his fire consume Kallistra from the inside out. A horrific, brutal thing, he’d forced his love to witness.
He heard them before he saw them. Two sets of footsteps and ragged, winded breathing. With Nairu still nestled against his chest, he shifted his body enough to turn and look. Kaz had an arm around Zorinna’s shoulder, helping her walk. Their bodies bore blood and bruises, but they seemed to be free of any major injuries. Alandris let out a sigh of relief so deep he nearly began to sob once more. He could not have mentally borne another death. His dearest friends, one old and one new. It would have broken him fully.
Their faces blanched when they saw Nairu, noting her wounds, the stillness of her chest. Realization hit and a strangled cry left Zorinna’s throat. “No. No. No. How—why?” She staggered away from Kaz, dropping to her knees in front of Alandris.
Kaz knelt beside her, silent.
Alandris struggled to find the proper words. Kallistra had dealt the killing blow, but he experienced the same sense of guilt regarding what had transpired. “Kallistra attacked us. She intended to kill me, accused me of corrupting Nairu. When Nairu did not follow her lead... she...” The words felt like lead in his mouth, and again, he was being torn apart, transported back to that horrible moment.
“It’s alright. You need not say more.” Kaz placed a hand on his shoulder, knowing.
Kaz had always been aware of and in tune with those around him. It’d been a hindrance when Alandris had been attempting to conceal his feelings for Nairu, but he appreciated Kaz’s intuition now. Kaz would not press him for further details. He could see how thin of thread Alandris was hanging on by. How one innocent question might snap that thread and send him tumbling down into an abyss he would never crawl his way out of. Kaz was intimately familiar with the sorrow of losing a lover. A grief that never truly subsided, no matter the years passed .
Zorinna reached out to brush a lock of hair away from Nairu’s face, and Alandris flinched. He understood that his friend had no malicious intentions, but his body reacted on impulse. He feared Nairu would crumble to dust if he wasn’t delicate enough with her body. It was irrational of him to linger. She was gone, after all, but the thought of losing this piece of her terrified him all the same. He wasn’t ready to let go of her.
Alandris managed to steady himself enough to explain to Kaz and Zorinna what had happened, and more than that, the truth of Nairu. Her immortality. The God who resided within her and granted her magic. Her curse. It wasn’t his story to tell, but he couldn’t exactly hide it from his companions. He needed them.
Then, a foolish idea crossed his mind—one that should have warranted him a scolding just for entertaining it. “I will ask Amorphael to save her,” he said, rising to his feet with Nairu cradled in his arms. “I will make another bargain.”
Zorinna pursed her lips as she stood, brows furrowing in what looked like pity. “Setting aside how dangerous a Fae bargain is, not even Fae magic can revive the dead. Besides, by the time we make it back to Nil’Faerith, her body will be—”
“You do not know that!” Alandris snapped. “There is not enough knowledge of Fae magic to make such a determination. I will not give up without making the attempt. My soul be damned. I do not care what I have to trade for her life—I will pay the price.” He forced himself to calm, not realizing how tight his grip had gotten, how much his body was shaking. “We found a portal I believe leads to the Fae realm. I can figure out the magic. It will be much quicker than returning on foot.”
There was no room to argue, or at least Kaz and Zorinna did not have the heart to dissuade him further. They followed him silently to the portal, silently as he leaned Nairu’s body against the rock wall, silently as he traced his hands along the runes, mumbling an incantation neither of them could understand. His earnest endeavor to awaken whatever ancient magic had once powered this portal was not one they could assist him with. They’d resigned themselves to keeping watch.
“I lost the woman I loved,” Kaz whispered to Zorinna, carefully out of earshot of Alandris. “I cannot fault him for trying anything he can when I once did the same. I know you worry about him, but we should not fight him on this, hopeless or not. He must come to terms with her death on his own.”
“Nairu will come back,” Zorinna said plainly. “He doesn’t need to struggle like this. We should be stopping him! Letting him entertain this absurd idea will only hurt him more.”
“In my view, he intends to spare her the pain of having to endure another life. She suffered alone for so long—she would be forced to repeat that same horrid fate over again until we could find her.”
“We? Do you intend to help Alandris after delivering the flower and completing the mission?”
“I do. Do you not?”
Zorinna paused. “I made a promise to my family. This was to be my last grand adventure before I fulfilled their wishes for me to engage the prince.” Her face shifted as she struggled to find the words and how to say them. “I am not like Alandris, nor like Nairu. I care for them deeply. Trust me, I do, but I cannot put my life on hold any longer. They have each other. I-I don’t have a reason to fight my fate.”
“I didn’t take you for a coward.” Kaz snorted. “Don’t discount their reason for rejecting their fates for something as simple as ‘having each other’. They’ve both been fighting against their fates for far longer than they could count on one another as a reason to do so. Don’t pretend and use that as an excuse, Zorinna. I see right through you.”
She crossed her arms in front of her. “I am not having this discussion. You may think you have a grasp on what is best for me, but you’re wrong. I am aware that you have love for both of them, and I will offer my assistance to the best of my abilities from within Val’Naeris, but I have made a commitment, Kaz. I intend on keeping it.”
“You misunderstand me. I am saying these things because I am worried about you. It is not for their benefit. You are not a princess meant to be caged behind castle walls. You are alive when you are out here—traveling, adventuring, fighting. Don’t you feel it in the way that I see it?”
Zorinna shook her head. “It doesn’t matter what I feel. I’ve made a vow.”
“You are stubborn.” A smile eased the tension growing between them. Kaz was aware he may have pushed her too far, too soon, but he had no intentions of giving up on her. They had grown close in their months together, and he considered her one of his closest friends. He would not see her fiery spirit dimmed to a life of ballgowns and heirs. She had the heart of a mercenary—the vulgar mouth of one, too.
She laughed. “I am aware. For what it’s worth, thank you. In another life, we may have slayed all manner of monster and beast side by side.”
“A shame you won’t have the opportunity to best me. What was our count? Between the Visumena and the men who attack us, I believe I’m at ten and you’re at... oh! Right—seven.”
“The night is young. We may be required to fell more foes yet.” Zorinna blew out a breath. “And thank you… for distracting me.”
“I know she was important to you as well.”
“Yes. She was—she is.”
The sound of cursing, shouting, and explosive magic drew their attention back to Alandris. Flames burst forth from his hands in violent waves, singing everything in their path. His chest heaved with effort, but he would not stop. He kept draining himself of his magic in the hope that something would spark the portal to life.
And it had.
Where once had been a mess of crumbled rock, was now a shimmering mirror of opalescent light. With whatever madness and desperation had possessed him, Alandris had done it. He had found them a portal to... somewhere. If luck was on their side, it would lead them right to the Fae realm. In a perfect world, right to Amorphael herself.
“Come,” he said, lifting Nairu into his arms once more.
Kaz and Zorinna shared a hesitant glance before following Alandris through the veil.
Emerging from the portal, a forest of rich verdant greeted them, with trees that spiraled high into the sky, far taller than anything they’d ever witnessed. Otherworldly plants and fungi surrounded them in a range of bright and neutral colors. The air was peculiar, humming with magical energy that left a tingling sensation on the skin. This was it. The Fae Realm.
Alandris experienced the identical inescapable pull he had encountered months earlier on Nil’Faerith. The one that had dragged him from his room in a daze, stumbling over his feet, possessed by the wielder of the magic. It sung to him, rattling his bones, and driving his muscles to move his legs toward the source without a mind of his own. If he’d had the sense to resist it, he would have found it impossible. You cannot deny the call of a Fae who holds your bargain. A Fae who holds a piece of your soul—a deposit of sorts, to guarantee your commitment to the cause.
Only once Amorphael’s deep, melodic voice sounded through the clearing did Alandris snap out of his daze. Kaz and Zorinna had followed him in their assumption that he’d known where he was going. Upon seeing the female Fae, their faces had drained of color. Despite her dryad-like beauty, she was as overwhelming as Alandris had remembered. Brimming with power that could not only be seen, but felt.
“I suppose you’ve found a flower of your own to cherish?” Amorphael hummed, looking to Nairu’s place in his arms.
“A flower.” He scoffed, deciding to play along with her usual riddles and metaphors, if only for the sake of convincing her to help. “She has withered. Can you do something for her?”
At his words, a smirk appeared on her face. “She has not withered, child, merely retreated into the ground from which she came. She will bloom again, with enough time and care. I cannot force the process.”
“Please—there must be something. I will make another bargain. I will pay any price, I swear it.” Alandris had not intended to show his hand, but the desperation had seeped through his words.
“Alandris...” Zorinna mumbled. “Think about this.”
Amorphael ignored Zorinna’s interjection and kept her eyes locked on Alandris. “She is gone. We can only await her return. Allow that body to commune with nature. Her soul no longer lingers within. You are upsetting the balance of life and death by clinging to her husk.”
Alandris’ grip tightened. Nairu was gone. He knew that, but letting go of her would set that truth in finality. He knew he shouldn’t, but he allowed himself one last look at her. Every memory of her flooded his mind. Her smile. Her laugh. The way she’d scolded him. The way she’d kissed him. Their promises. Their dreams. He would wait to experience those things again. He would wait an eternity if that was what it took.
He allowed Amorphael to take Nairu into her arms, watching as she gently rested her amongst a bed of powder blue flowers. It was almost human, the way Amorphael stood over her, watching her. There was the faintest hint of pity on her face. An unintelligible whisper left her lips, and Nairu began to sink into the ground, her body being swallowed up by the soil.
A sturdy hand landed on Alandris’ shoulder. “I am with you, Elf. As far as I’m concerned, this job isn’t yet complete.”
“Thank you, Kaz.”
Amorphael strode back to Alandris, raising her chin. “Are you certain you can handle it? Watching your sweet flower bloom and wither, bloom and wither, over and over, until the conditions are just right for it to thrive. Well, it would drive any male to madness—a male so drunk with love—even more so, I imagine.”
“You mean to say that you believe I’ll fail?” His heart sank, and the air left his lungs. “Again?”
“I only mean to say that the fates are cruel. They will test your resolve.”
Alandris cursed under his breath. “I wish you’d let me die that day. You hadn’t spared me then, you’d cursed me. What is the pain of death compared to the pain of watching the one you love greet it in your arms?”
“You’d rather have died than known a love like hers?” Amorphael’s blank expression did not falter .
“Why do you ask a question when you already know the answer?”
“So that you may realize the cowardice of the wish you uttered, child.” She spat the words. “Of course, I can taste the lie. It lingers heavy between us. Didn’t you taste it as it left your lips?”
“Does it matter?” Alandris sighed.
A smile, one that felt as close to genuine as Alandris would ever get from her, rose to her face. “I suppose not.”
“Fine—it was a lie. I need this life. I will save her from her own fate. For that purpose alone, I will not allow myself to die.”
“You will suffer.”
He knew it well. “So I will.”
Amorphael smiled again, this one unreadable. “Nonetheless, thank you for bringing the lusoth tesiria to me. I believe this will help us in the future.” She beckoned for Alandris to hand the small chest containing the flower to her. She’d sensed it on him, the magic buried under his cloak.
He brought her the box and paused before stepping away. “I thought I was finding you the faylin lusoth ?”
“You did find her. Nairu. My sweet faylin lusoth . The flower of two souls. Did you think I sent you to Fernfallow without purpose? Of course, I knew where she would be.”
Alandris’ mouth dropped in realization. Amorphael had never intended for him to find a literal flower. That was never her primary purpose in sending him on this quest. She’d intended for him to find her .
“And thank you for committing yourself to saving her from that wretched cycle of rebirth—owed favor or no. It is more important than you realize.” She closed her eyes. “You have paid your debt to me. The rest is up to you. Be sure you do not break her mind in your impatience, child.”
“I won’t fail,” Alandris said out loud, for his own sake.
With a wave of Amorphael’s fingers, their band of three was transported away, back to the shores of Nil’Faerith, the flags of the Mages Consortium waving in the distance.