Chapter 24 #2
The world tilted sideways, gravity shifting in a way that made me grab the counter with both hands. I gripped the granite until my knuckles went white, my breath coming in short, sharp gasps that weren't getting enough oxygen to my lungs, black spots dancing at the edges of my vision.
I'm pregnant.
With Connor's baby. Growing inside me right now while I stand here having a panic attack in Anna's bathroom.
A baby. Our baby. The thought broke through the panic like sunlight through storm clouds, warm and terrifying and wonderful all at once.
Connor and me, creating a whole new person.
A tiny combination of both of us. Maybe they'd have his honey-colored eyes, or my stubbornness, or his steady calm, or my tendency to overthink everything.
For just a moment, joy bloomed in my chest so bright and fierce it stole my breath.
Connor would be an amazing father. Patient, kind, and protective.
The way he was with me, gentle and firm and endlessly caring—he'd be that way with our child.
We could do this. Build a family. Create the kind of home I'd always dreamed of.
Then the realization hit in waves, each one more overwhelming than the last, each one pulling me under before I could surface.
I was pregnant in the middle of being threatened and terrorized by people. While jobless and completely unstable. While people were actively trying to destroy everything I touched. While I could barely take care of myself, let alone another human being.
Oh my God. I was going to be a mother.
A sob broke free before I could stop it, loud and wrenching and full of every emotion I'd been holding back for three months.
Terror, joy, grief, and hope all tangled together until I couldn't separate them, couldn't tell which was which, couldn't process anything except the overwhelming reality of those two pink lines.
What if something happened to me? What if whoever burned down my apartment came back, and Connor couldn't protect us both? What if I couldn't keep this baby safe?
A soft knock on the door. "Harper? Can I come in?"
I couldn't answer, I just stood there shaking, staring at the two pink lines that had just changed everything, that had just taken my complicated life and made it infinitely more complicated—and infinitely more precious.
The door opened slowly, carefully. Anna slipped inside, her eyes immediately finding the test on the counter, finding the two pink lines that were unmistakable even from across the room.
“Oh, Harper.” Her voice was soft, gentle in a way that made the tears come harder. She crossed the small space and pulled me into a hug before I could fall apart completely and collapse onto the tile and just give up. “It's okay. It's going to be okay.”
“How?” The word came out broken, muffled against her shoulder where I was probably getting tears and snot all over her nice shirt.
“Anna, how is this okay? Someone is trying to hurt me.
My boutique is destroyed. I don't have a business. I barely have the ability to take care of myself right now. How am I supposed to take care of a baby?”
“You won't be alone.” Anna pulled back enough to look at my face, her hands on my shoulders, her blue eyes fierce with a certainty I desperately wanted to believe in.
“Harper, you have Connor. You have me and Jaxon.
You have a whole town that cares about you even if you don't see it. You're not going to do this alone.”
“Connor—” My voice broke on his name, on the weight of what I was about to tell him. “What if he doesn't want this? What if he thinks I trapped him or planned it or—or that I'm too much trouble and a baby is just one more problem he doesn't need?”
“Stop.” Anna's voice was firm now, sharp enough to cut through my spiral before it could drag me completely under. “Connor loves you. He's completely, utterly, head-over-heels in love with you. Do you really think he's not going to want a baby with you?”
“We've only been together a few months. We've never talked about kids or the future or any of this. What if—”
“Harper, listen to me.” Anna gripped my shoulders tighter, making me meet her eyes.
“That man looks at you like you hung the moon and personally arranged the stars just for him.
He took you in when you had nowhere to go.
He pays your bills without asking for anything in return.
He holds you when you have nightmares and makes you breakfast every morning and would literally die before letting anyone hurt you.
Do you really think he's going to be anything less than thrilled about having a baby with you?”
The words penetrated the panic slightly, creating a small crack in the terror that let logic seep through.
Connor had done all of those things. He’d shown me in a thousand ways that he was committed, that he loved me, that he wanted a future with me even when I came with more baggage than anyone should have to deal with.
But a baby? This soon and unexpected?
“I'm scared,” I whispered, fresh tears spilling over and tracking down my cheeks.
“Anna, I'm so scared. What if something happens to me and the baby gets hurt?
What if Silas or Armand or whoever is doing this finds out I'm pregnant and uses it against us? What if they—” My voice broke completely.
“What if they hurt the baby to punish me?”
“Then we protect you even more fiercely.” Anna's voice was absolute, unshakeable in a way that made me want to believe her.
“Harper, you're not alone in this. Davies is closing in on Morgan.
They're going to catch whoever's doing this.
And in the meantime, you have an entire support system.
You're safe at the ranch. The baby is safe.
We won't let anything happen to either of you.”
I wanted to believe her and trust that everything would work out, that love and determination were enough to overcome threats and fear and people who wanted to hurt me.
But the two pink lines on that test represented a vulnerability I'd never had before.
Someone else to worry about. Someone else who could get hurt because of me, because I'd been too stubborn to just give Silas and Armand what they wanted.
“I need to tell Connor.” The thought made my stomach clench with anxiety that had nothing to do with morning sickness. “I need to tell him today. Right now. I can't keep this secret, can't lie to him about something this big.”
“Do you want me to come with you?” Anna asked gently.
“No. This is—” I took a shaky breath that didn't quite fill my lungs. “This is something I need to do alone. Just me and him.”
Anna nodded, understanding in her eyes. “Okay. But Harper? He's going to be happy. I promise you, he's going to be over the moon about this.”
I wished I had her certainty, her confidence that this wouldn't shatter the fragile stability we'd built together. That Connor wouldn't look at me and see one more problem he didn't sign up for. All I could do was hope.
“Can I keep the test?” I asked, gesturing to the counter where the evidence of my pregnancy sat like an accusation. “To show him?”
“Of course. It's yours.” Anna hugged me again, quick and fierce and full of support I didn't feel like I deserved. “And Harper? Congratulations. I know the timing is terrible and everything is scary right now and you're probably terrified, but you're going to be a mom. That's amazing.”
Was it? Right now, all I felt was overwhelmed, terrified, and completely unprepared.
Except somewhere underneath the fear, underneath the panic and worry and terror that threatened to swallow me whole—there was a tiny spark of joy.
Pure, untainted joy at the thought of Connor's baby growing inside me.
Of creating a life together. Of a future that held more than just survival, that held something beautiful and worth fighting for.
The most joy I thought I could ever feel was quickly dwarfed by it.
A family. Our family.
“Thank you,” I whispered, my voice breaking on the words. “For being here. For not letting me fall apart alone.”
“Always.” Anna squeezed my hand tight enough to hurt. “Now, let's get you back home so you can tell your man he's going to be a father.”
Home. Connor's ranch that had somehow become home without me noticing, that felt more like home than anywhere I'd ever lived. Where Connor was waiting, completely unaware that his life was about to change as dramatically as mine just had.
Please let this be okay. Please let him want this. Please let us survive whatever comes next.
I picked up the test with trembling hands, wrapped it carefully in toilet paper like it was something precious instead of something terrifying, and followed Anna back downstairs.
Time to tell Connor Whitaker he was going to be a father.
God help us both.