CHAPTER 17
Jaxon
I swung the ax down with a grunt, my arms flexing as the blade split through each log with a force that seemed to vent some of the tension building in my body. Splinters of wood flew through the crisp summer air, scattering across the ground like shrapnel.
After a whole frustrating day of chauffeuring Jared around, I had nothing to show for it.
He didn't have enough money in the bank to cover a security deposit, and the parole officer had no job leads for him.
I'd wasted an entire day chasing dead ends, my efforts as futile as trying to catch smoke with my bare hands.
I was stuck with Jared at my place longer than I wanted.
Part of me thought about just giving him money to make him go away, to rid myself of the unwanted responsibility.
But if he was serious about turning his life around, a chunk of cash might just be a shortcut back to bad habits.
Gambling, drugs, all the shit that landed him in prison in the first place.
As much as I distrusted my brother—and I did, that doubt coiling in my gut like a restless snake—I couldn't be the one to set him on that path. I couldn't be the one to enable his self-destruction.
So far, Jared seemed to be coping, if not exactly thriving.
He mostly stayed inside my cabin, sprawled on the couch, watching TV and fiddling with his phone with an air of apathy that set my teeth on edge.
That meant I felt compelled to stay outside, like right now, chopping wood for the winter even though I already had a good stockpile.
The logs were stacked high, like a fortress wall. More than enough to get me through.
But his presence in the cabin was stifling. Suffocating. It made me feel like a prisoner in my own home, my sanctuary invaded.
I'd gotten back late last night, too late to talk with Connor about the situation, exhaustion dragging at my limbs.
I'd promised I'd stay at Connor's while he was away, but now I wondered if I'd have to leave Jared alone to keep that promise.
The uncertainty gnawed at me, twisting my stomach into knots, adding another layer of stress to an already complicated situation.
I swung the ax down with such force it nearly split the stump I was using as a base. The wood groaned in protest.
Wiping sweat from my brow with the back of my hand, I let out a low growl of frustration and slammed the ax into the stump to let it rest. The stack of freshly split logs loomed before me.
A monument to my efforts, but my thoughts spun too fast to focus on the simple task of piling them neatly. I needed to pull myself together.
I stomped back inside, my heavy boots thudding against the wooden floors, brushing past Jared without a word as I headed upstairs to my room. I needed to get out of my sweaty clothes and clear my head. To escape the cloying atmosphere of the cabin.
If I was going to leave Jared alone while Connor was gone, now was as good a time as any to see how he'd manage on his own. To test whether I could trust him not to burn the place down or steal everything that wasn't nailed down.
After a quick shower, the hot water rinsing away grime and sweat, I pulled on a basic T-shirt and jeans. Descending the stairs, I found Jared sprawled on the couch, flipping through TV channels with his usual air of indifference.
"I'm going to Connor's for a while," I said, keeping my tone flat.
"Mm-hmm," he muttered, not even glancing up.
I rolled my eyes, annoyance flaring hot in my chest, and grabbed my keys from the hook by the door.
The way he dismissed me made me worry about what might happen while I was gone, but I couldn't babysit him forever.
I reasoned that he was an adult and could handle a few hours alone.
I left the house, locking the door behind me with a decisive click, and headed to my Jeep.
I pulled up to Connor's just in time to see him carrying what looked like a section of fence with legs out of the old barn, his muscles straining under the weight. Anna was struggling to drag a similar piece, though she was determined to get it where it needed to go, her face set in concentration.
I parked the Jeep and ran over to help, taking the weight of the heavy wooden section from her.
Anna looked up at me with a bright smile. A genuine, carefree grin that caught me off guard. Her eyes sparkled with gratitude and something else I couldn't quite place. When had she started looking at me like that?
Today, she wore jean shorts that hugged her curves and a loose white blouse tied at the waist. Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail beneath a hat embroidered with the Whitaker Quarter Horses logo, a few stray strands escaping to frame her face.
The simple, casual look suited her, highlighting her natural beauty in a way that made my chest tighten.
I grunted as I hefted the heavy structure, struggling a bit with the weight. "What the hell is this thing?"
Anna walked alongside me, her laughter bright and infectious—a sound I would give anything to hear again, after only hearing it a few times.
"It's a jump standard," she explained, smiling at my bewilderment. "You set up two pieces with plastic cups. Then you place the jump pole on top of the cups."
We carried it out to the riding ring, where Connor joined us with his section of the standard, his forehead glistening with sweat.
Once we had the two pieces aligned, Anna pulled out plastic cups and positioned them in holes at the same height on each standard.
Then she grabbed a jump pole from the ground and set it on the cups, the wood settling into place with a satisfying click.
She stepped back, hands on her hips, clearly pleased with her work. "Just like that," she said, brushing dirt from her hands.
There was a smudge of dust on her cheek that I found oddly endearing and I had to force my hands to stay still at my sides and not reach up to wipe it off.
I raised an eyebrow, watching her with an admiration I hadn't expected to feel. I hadn't seen her so confident and in control before and it was more captivating than I'd anticipated.
"So, you just jump the one?" I asked, genuine curiosity sparking a bubble of laughter from Anna. She covered her mouth as she giggled. I realized I must have said something stupid.
"No," Connor replied, grinning at Anna's reaction. "There are four jumps in total, so we've got six more standards to move. If you and I carry them, it should go faster. That way, we can save Squirt over here from dragging them." He nodded toward Anna.
Anna's laughter cut off abruptly, her eyes widening in mock horror. "Squirt?!" she exclaimed, playful disbelief lacing her voice as she placed her hands on her hips.
Connor shrugged with a mocking grin and led the way back to the barn, me following to grab the rest of the jump standards. Meanwhile, Anna busied herself arranging the poles in the riding ring, carefully making sure the jumps lined up evenly.
Once all four standards were in place, complete with poles, the day had shifted into late afternoon.
The sun dipped lower, casting long shadows across the ground.
Connor was free from meetings and training sessions, and it was getting too late for Anna to ride, so she left the ring as it was, planning to start fresh tomorrow.
We made our way back to the house, and I suggested we talk about Connor's upcoming trip over pizza, to make up for the night I'd missed when Jared showed up unexpectedly. It was the least I could do after bailing on the cookout.
Chester greeted us at the door, his tail wagging enthusiastically as he weaved between our legs. Anna and Connor headed upstairs to clean up while I went into the kitchen to wash my hands and preheat the oven.
Anna was the first to return downstairs, her blouse swapped for a snug-fitting T-shirt that clung to her curves.
I caught myself staring, my eyes lingering on the smooth expanse of her skin before quickly shifting to the oven, feeling a mix of interest and caution.
I told myself to focus. My feelings for Anna were growing, which I couldn't deny anymore, but I wasn't sure what to do with them, especially after telling Connor I wasn't interested in anything more than friendship.
She moved past me to the fridge, her arm brushing mine in a quick moment that sent a shiver down my spine. She pulled out a couple of beers, the bottles clinking softly as she handed one to me, her fingers grazing mine. I fought to keep my composure.
She made her way into the den, and I followed, drawn by her presence in a way I couldn't explain.
We settled onto the sectional. Anna tucked her legs underneath her and reached back to grab the knitted blanket draped over the couch.
As she slid it over her legs, she caught my eye and waggled her eyebrows.
A playful nod to our "teenage" moment getting in trouble for falling asleep outside with that same blanket.
I chuckled, lifting my beer to my lips, enjoying the lightheartedness despite the weight pressing down on me.
When Connor finally came down, we ate pizza while a movie played quietly in the background.
The conversation shifted to plans for his absence.
We talked about how to handle the horses, with Connor ensuring Anna would have everything she needed.
Since Connor and two others from his team would be gone, they'd agreed Anna would be responsible for the horses in the old barn, while Denny handled the sale horses.
That would lighten Denny's load and let him focus on other ranch responsibilities.
When the topic turned to living arrangements, Anna adjusted her seating, crossing her legs to face us better. She leaned forward slightly, speaking earnestly.
"Jaxon, you don't need to put yourself out for me. I'm sure I'd be fine," she insisted, her voice tinged with concern. She was trying to minimize her needs.
I shook my head, dismissing her worries. "It's not like that," I said, voice soft but firm. "I want to be here. Connor's right to be concerned. With Jared at my place and you on your own here, I'd rather not take any chances." I gave her what I hoped was a reassuring smile.
"I'll be gone for three weeks, Anna," Connor said gently, emphasizing the seriousness.
"That's a long time to be alone in the house, especially given your history.
I know you were alone before, but you never stayed anywhere for long.
I just want you to know you're safe here, and you'd feel safer with Jax around. "
Anna chewed the inside of her cheek, her gaze fixed on the TV screen.
I could see her wrestling with her thoughts, the tension in her shoulders, the way her fingers gripped the blanket too tightly.
Her anxiety over Connor's extended absence was clear, but she wouldn't want him to cancel his trip just because she was uneasy.
She took a deep breath and turned to face us, both of us waiting for her response.
"Fine," she said quietly. "I would feel better with Jaxon here. You're right." I could tell the words were hard for her to say, an admission of vulnerability. "I appreciate it." She had finally accepted the help.
"But—" Anna began, but I held up my hand to stop her.
"No buts," I interrupted gently. "It'll be fine. You don't need to worry about how I feel or what's going on with me. I want to be here for you."
I meant every word. No matter the complications Jared brought, no matter the confusion swirling inside me over my growing feelings for Anna, none of that mattered as much as making sure she felt safe.
I watched the tension in her shoulders ease, the knots of worry loosening their grip as my reassurance sank in. She nodded, clearly trying to let my words wash over her.
"Okay," she said, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Thanks, Jaxon. But you should know, Harper and I already have a girls' night planned."
She grinned mischievously, her eyes sparkling with humor. I rolled my eyes, leaning back into the couch with a quiet sense of relief. Glad we'd gotten through the hard part, convincing her to accept my presence without guilt.
I shook my head, pretending to be annoyed, but a small grin tugged at my lips. I wondered what I had gotten myself into.
She followed my lead, sinking into the cushions to relax for the rest of the movie, the warmth of her body next to mine a comforting presence. Connor turned up the volume, and we settled in to enjoy the evening.
For the first time in days, with Jared temporarily out of mind and Anna relaxed beside me, I felt something close to peace.