41. Silas
Amalia is talking with her sister while I stand looking out at this property patrolled by soldiers carrying various types of weapons.
I don’t know exactly what these people are involved in, but judging by everything that happened at that cabin this morning, something tells me law enforcement was not notified of the situation.
I feel him step up to my left, but I don’t turn toward him.
After everything that happened this morning, my energy is nearly gone. My mind is empty for the first time in ten years, now that I know the man who killed my brother is six feet underground.
“I’m sorry I almost put a bullet in your head,” I tell Maksim, looking at the pine forest in front of me.
“It’s not me you need to apologize to. Juls, though…if you see her anywhere near the rifle, stay out of her way for a while. She’s fairly protective when it comes to the people she loves.”
I don’t miss the emphasis he puts on that word — loves. I haven’t finished my conversation with Amalia, but I know I won’t let it go until she understands that everything was a misunderstanding, and that she is the only woman for whom I would ever contemplate this notion of love.
She’s been talking with her sister for seventeen minutes already, and my restlessness grows with every second.
“If you hurt her—” he starts, but I cut him off.
“Never. You don’t know me, and I understand that. I even appreciate the care you have for her. But I would never hurt her. Not deliberately, at least.”
For a man who has always anticipated every step, who has planned ahead and calculated everything in his life, I feel like this time my own system let me down.
If I had told her the truth before I left, we wouldn’t be standing here today.
“I watched you put yourself in front of that bullet for her, and that’s enough for me. It’ll be enough for Julia too. Whether it was enough for Amalia…that remains to be seen.”
When I saw that gun raised toward her, all my mind produced was the thought that I would never again see her eyes light up when she tastes a hot chocolate she likes, never hear her say my name, never feel her touch on my skin.
And in a fraction of a second, even though reason tried to push forward the fact that I have a nephew who still needs me, that I have Karina and Andreas, who are my only friends, my body moved of its own accord and stepped in front of her.
“She’s special.” Maksim clears his throat. “She has an extraordinary mind, but?—”
“She always doubts it,” I answer, because I know. “And she’s more than special. She’s singular. And I can’t believe that this entire time she was only a few hours away by plane.”
“You couldn’t have found her, Silas. That was by design, mine and Julia’s.
After everything that happened with Aleksandr, we wanted both her and Lupe to have a chance at a normal life, whatever normal looks like for them.
But you ground her, and that’s huge for someone with a mind like hers that feels like it’s running multiple subprocesses at the same time.
I just hope you, if you’re given the chance, take care of that. Of her.”
“You got it wrong. She grounds me. I am a man of reason, but being without her these past months made me doubt every thought, every decision, every step I took,” I tell him, trying to move my shoulder, only to hiss through my teeth when a sharp sting cuts through.
“Well, now the only thing you need to do is wait.”
It’s officially been twenty-one minutes that I’ve been waiting for her to come back out, and I know that if she asked it of me, I would wait a lifetime.