Chapter Seventeen #3
He needed to do something, anything but stand here overthinking, wishing, hoping, setting himself up for a massive heartbreak.
He strode out of the station and slid in behind the wheel of the patrol car, the hum of the engine providing a steady background noise as he traversed the quiet streets.
His mind, however, remained fixated on Nyah, her pain seared into his heart like a brand.
No matter how hard he tried not to let it overpower him, the weight of her departure pressed down even harder, heavy and suffocating.
The next two hours dragged excruciatingly slowly.
When the clock struck seven, he couldn’t get out of the station quick enough.
As he drove home, his mind raced with thoughts of how to support the woman of his dreams during this difficult time, from so far away.
Phone calls. Video calls. It was all he had to offer her.
He pulled beneath the carport, the Troopy’s engine falling silent as he sat for a moment, collecting his thoughts and emotions.
Nyah needed to see him as her pillar of strength, the light in her darkness, and nothing less.
Stepping out, he felt gravel crunch beneath his boots as he headed across the drive and towards the homestead that stood tall and still against the backdrop of a pastel sky.
He pressed the front door open, and Jet greeted him with a wagging tail and soulful eyes.
Sensing the sombre atmosphere that enveloped the house, he went in search of Nyah.
He found her sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of tea clutched in her hands, staring into the distance.
Her eyes were red-rimmed from tears and her expression was one of absolute exhaustion.
‘Oh hey, you’re home.’ Her slight smile evaded the corners of her lips.
Without a word, he crossed the room and as she stood to greet him, he pulled her into a tender embrace. ‘I’m here, Nyah,’ he whispered softly, hoping his arms offered her some kind of solace.
She leant into him, seeking refuge, and that was all the assurance he required to know that she needed him to hold her closer still.
And as he did, her sobs broke and he was there to catch them.
The weight of her pain pressed heavily on his chest, a reminder that despite his best efforts, he couldn’t shield her from her broken heart.
And although this shared, compassionate moment wasn’t about him, he couldn’t shake the feeling of helplessness that gripped him like a vice, knowing that some wounds ran too deep for him to heal.
He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, letting the silent promise be her steady rock amid the turbulent waves threatening to pull her under.
And she clung to him as if he were the only lifeline in a tumultuous sea, her grip desperate and grounding.
They stayed like that for a little while, wrapped in a cocoon of shared sorrow and unspoken words, as bright morning sunshine began to filter through the kitchen window, casting a golden glow all around them.
With a shuddering breath, Nyah pulled back slightly, her eyes searching his face for reassurance. ‘I don’t know how I’m going get through this without you nearby, Caleb,’ she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.
He brushed tears from her cheeks, his gaze unwavering as he met hers. ‘I’ll be just a phone call away.’
‘But it’s not the same, is it?’ she replied, her voice laced with vulnerability and fear.
Using every single bit of his resolve so he didn’t break in front of her, he took her hands in his, making sure his touch was gentle yet reassuring.
‘No, it’s not the same.’ He knew she was right.
A simple call couldn’t replace his physical presence, the comfort of his arms around her, or the shared moments that wove their lives together.
‘But it’s the best we’ve got.’ He wished he could offer her more, wished he could rewrite the painful chapters of her life.
Wished that he could be her husband…
Her eyes searched his as if looking for any hint of doubt, any crack in his resolve, but he hoped that all she found was unwavering determination and love. ‘It means the world, knowing I can call you any time.’ She nodded slowly, a silent agreement passing between them.
He met her gaze with warmth and determination. ‘You’re not alone in this journey, Ny, I’ll walk every step with you, even if it’s from a distance.’ He cleared the emotion from his throat. ‘And besides all of this, your dad needs you.’
‘I know.’ She nodded against his chest. ‘And I need him.’
They embraced in the quiet kitchen, a sense of calm settling between them like a fragile web spun in the early-morning light, and as the day unfolded around them they found solace in each other’s company.
Caleb made them poached eggs on toasted sourdough, then they walked along the river and sought shade beneath a towering paperbark for an hour, drinking in the quiet solitude of the unspoiled landscape.
They didn’t have time to make it to the old miner’s hut.
Next time she’s here , he told himself. That was, if she ever set a foot back there.
And as they made their way back to the homestead, he could sense the heaviness of the impending farewell hanging between them like a black cloud.
Nyah’s steps seemed slower, more reluctant, as if each one brought her closer to a reality that she wasn’t ready to face.
And in truth, neither was he. He wished he could freeze time, keep her cocooned in this moment of shared tranquillity forever.
But life didn’t work like that.
Inside the homestead, Nyah gathered her belongings, her movements slow and deliberate as if prolonging the inevitable.
Caleb watched her silently as she moved about, his heart heavy with the knowledge that soon she’d be boarding a plane back to Cairns.
Then, when everything was packed, they stood facing each other in the living room, the heaviness of unspoken words hanging profoundly between them.
Nyah broke the silence first, her voice barely above a whisper. ‘Thank you for everything, Caleb. I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through this without you.’
Caleb reached out and squeezed her hand gently, his eyes locking onto hers with unwavering sincerity. ‘You don’t have to thank me; I’ll always be here for you, no matter the distance between us,’ he replied, his voice filled with a tenderness that spoke of his commitment to her.
A lone tear slipped down her cheek, but a small, grateful smile tugged at the corners of her lips.
She leant into him, seeking comfort in his familiar embrace one last time before they had to let go.
Caleb held her as close as he possibly could, committing the feel of her in his arms to memory, just in case he never got to experience her closeness again.
And as they lingered in that moment of a bittersweet farewell, the sound of a car approaching outside interrupted their silent exchange.
Nyah pulled back slightly, her gaze meeting his as if trying to memorise every detail of his face. ‘That must be Hope,’ she said softly, a touch of sadness in her voice.
Caleb nodded, a lump forming in his throat as reality crashed over him like a wave that threatened to drown him.
He wanted to say something to reassure her, but he didn’t trust himself to speak right now, for fear of shattering.
So, wordlessly, they walked out and onto the verandah.
The breeze ruffled Nyah’s loose hair as she stood on the edge of their shared history, ready to move away from him.
The car door opened, and Hope stepped out, her presence a stark reminder of the excruciating separation about to take place.
‘Hey, you two.’ Hope approached Nyah with a warm smile, her eyes filled with unspoken understanding.
‘Hey,’ was their united reply.
Caleb watched as Nyah embraced Hope tightly, the two women sharing a moment of silent solidarity.
Then, with one last lingering look, Nyah hopped into the car and with one last wave, and a gentle, teary smile out the passenger window, Hope drove them away, leaving behind a silence that felt deafening in its emptiness.
He stood motionless, watching as the dust kicked up by the car settled back onto the gravel drive and a sense of profound loss washed over him.
The heavy weight was one he loathed but he had no choice but to carry it.
How he was going to get over losing the love of his life a second time around, he hadn’t a clue.
But day by lonely day, he knew he’d have to.
Because there was no future for them.
Not now.
Not ever.
He needed to get a damn grip on the hard-hitting reality of that.