Chapter Nineteen
CHAPTER
Caleb’s heart was a compass needle, ever swinging northward to Cairns, to Nyah, with an unerring pull that disrupted the rhythm of his daily life.
As time stretched on agonisingly, the urge to sell up, and move to Cairns so he could start a new life with her, was overwhelmingly insistent.
But would she want that? Even though her beautiful, heartfelt letter described how deeply she felt for him, and how she wished things could be different, easier, he wasn’t at all sure.
Besides, being reckless went against everything he believed in.
Discipline and restraint were in his blood, and couldn’t be bled out of him.
As he laced his boots in the soft dawn light spilling through his bedroom window, he tried to heave his focus from her handwriting taped to his mirror and back onto the task at hand—tying each lace methodically, a routine that usually grounded him before a shift down the station.
But today the leather felt foreign against his fingers, as if it were hinting that they belonged elsewhere, wrapped in the warmth of Nyah’s hands, in her hair, feathering across her skin.
‘Focus, Hart,’ he muttered to himself, though his thoughts betrayed him as they drifted to Cairns, where the sun rose with a promise of heat and the endless chatter of rainbow lorikeets.
Shaking his head at his lack of self-restraint, he tried to leave the dreamy thoughts behind as he headed downstairs, but despite his determination to focus on the here and now, he could almost hear the laughter in Nyah’s voice, bright as the shimmering wings of the Ulysses butterflies she so loved to photograph and text to him, and just as elusive, flitting through the depths of his mind and leaving a trail of longing in their wake.
He was a man head over boots in love, if he’d ever seen one. And powerless to do anything about it.
After saying goodbye to Jet and making sure his mate was happily settled on the verandah with his ball, he made it to work ten minutes early.
The morning passed in a blur of Wildstone’s streets and the clatter of the police station, but his mind was tangled in the emerald vines of the Cairns rainforests he’d been googling, their lush green tendrils winding around his resolve.
The reports piled on his desk became mere paperweights, pinning him to a place that suddenly felt too small, too arid for the burgeoning hope inside him.
And each passing hour felt like an eternity as he yearned for the vibrant beauty and lush landscapes of the magical place the woman he was in love with called home.
But how was he meant to make this his reality, when it may not be on the cards for her?
Late afternoon found him in his garden, where the neat rows of edible greens were a reminder of his efforts to maintain order in a life slowly being overtaken by the chaos in his heart and mind.
Sitting on his haunches, he pulled weeds, but even the ripe tomatoes’ redness seemed dull when he thought of the vibrancy that could be waiting for him up in the north, in the Rusty’s Markets stalls where she did her weekly shops, her arms laden with exotic fruits and herbs that burst with colour and life.
‘Damn it,’ he said softly, brushing dirt from his hands onto his jeans.
The soil left streaks on the frayed denim, and he was reminded of the roots of stability he’d cultivated here in Wildstone.
Yet, in his heart, the seeds of change had germinated, watered by images of a life shared with Nyah Love.
And as daylight waned, he stood at his kitchen window, slicing through vegetables with a precision that belied his inner turmoil.
Each chop was a metronome tick, keeping time with his racing thoughts.
Cairns beckoned him with its siren song of lush landscapes, where the Daintree Rainforest whispered ancient secrets, and the Coral Sea caressed white-sand beaches with gentle azure waves.
Oh, to be able to share a life there with the woman who’d blessed him with the sensation of deep, eternal love. Well, wouldn’t that be perfection.
Music, that was what he needed—the twang of country songs he could lose himself in.
As he turned the stereo on and up and got on with dinner duties, he hummed to Chris Stapleton’s husky voice.
Much to his exasperation, he still pictured himself up north, in the tropics, among ferns that unfurled like welcome banners, and creeks that babbled songs about new beginnings.
A place where Nyah’s sweet voice wasn’t a ghost in his ear but a melody that harmonised with the rustle of palm fronds in the gentle breeze while they walked hand in hand, along the beaches she called her happy place, with their two dogs running freely.
He was torturing himself, imagining such crazy things.
Bloody hell, Hart, your life isn’t a fairy tale.
With dinner simmering away on the stove in preparation for Hope’s arrival, he leant back against the counter, surrendering to this far-flung vision of Cairns.
The allure of the tropics was more than just the dizzying array of flora and fauna, it was also the possibility of thawing his guarded heart in the warmth of Nyah’s presence, of healing old wounds in the balmy embrace of a town encompassed by Mother Nature’s abundance.
From all the pictures he’d seen online, and those Nyah had messaged to him, it looked to be a magical place to live.
Right here, right now, all around him, the homestead echoed with silence.
It was a stark contrast to the raucous symphony of life he imagined would fill a life that he and Nyah shared, day in, day out.
And in this ear-ringing quiet, he innately knew what he had to do.
He had to stop living in his head, and instead follow his heart.
And just like that, the decision lay before him like the open road, leading him to where his compass pointed—north, to love, to Nyah, to Cairns.
The images of lush greenery and the vibrant sounds of wildlife called out to him, promising a life filled with adventure and love in the tropical paradise.
If only he could make this their reality, they’d be happy, he was sure of it.
And less than half an hour later, his fingers trembled over the keyboard as his heart drummed a staccato rhythm against his rib cage.
Typing each word without time for caution, he exhaled slowly, steadying his resolve as he emailed his superior.
Requesting indefinite leave from the force was a daring leap of faith, one that vaulted him across the chasm of uncertainty and towards a future he hoped to share with Nyah.
He prayed he was doing the right thing.
‘Go on, bite the bullet and just go up and visit her, mate,’ Vance had urged earlier that day, clapping him on the back with enough force to punctuate his conviction.
‘You need this for yourself, to see if it’ll work in the long run.
You both do.’ The weight of his best mate’s advice lingered within him, a buoyant echo that propelled his actions forward and past the barricades of doubt.
With a decisive click, he sent the email before he could land in his head again and possibly change his mind.
The deed was done. There was no turning back now—only onwards, to Cairns, to her.
He hoped and prayed she was as eager as he was to give them a go.
Packing was a methodical process, each item chosen with meticulous care.
His police uniform remained neatly folded in the closet while casual shirts, board shorts, lightweight trousers and linen shirts found their way into his suitcase.
‘Going somewhere, bro?’ Hope’s gentle voice carried as she leant against the doorway of his bedroom.
Caleb looked up, offering a wry smile. ‘Oh, hey, sis, I didn’t hear you come in.’
‘Looks like you were engrossed in something ultra-important.’ She crossed the room and perched on the edge of the bed. ‘Please tell me you’ve decided to go and see Nyah?’ Her usually vibrant presence now held a tender quality, like the soft glow of dawn promising warmth and hope for what lay ahead.
‘You know me too well,’ he replied with a grin.
‘Better than you know yourself.’ She paused, her eyes searching his. ‘She’s your kind of beautiful chaos, isn’t she?’
He chuckled. ‘Yeah. She is.’
‘Then chase that feeling, Caleb.’ She reached out, squeezing his hand. ‘You two have something special, something worth crossing the oceans for, or in your case a state border.’
‘Ha, make it sound romantic, why don’t you.’ He sat beside her. ‘I’m absolutely terrified, but I wouldn’t want this any other way.’
‘Love is terrifying, and beautiful, and most certainly hard work, but in the end, if you’ve found your person, and you’ve been able to share a wonderful life, then it’s worth every single bit of struggle and fear.’
‘Thank you, sis.’ He pecked her cheek. ‘I can’t get a seat on the charter this close to leaving, so can you drop me at the main airport first thing tomorrow morning, and also take care of Jet while I’m away?’
‘Yes,’ she nodded as her expression filled with delight, ‘of course I can.’
The next morning came around fast, and the airport was alive with bustling energy, a contrast to the quiet of Wildstone. Hope’s car hummed to a halt outside the departure terminal, and Caleb stepped out, shouldering his bag.
‘Call me when you land,’ Hope said, her smile tinged with excitement.
‘I will,’ Caleb promised, leaning in to hug her tightly. ‘Thank you, sis.’
With a final wave, he turned and strode through the sliding doors, embarking on the journey that beckoned him towards a new horizon.
He was going to message Nyah and tell her he was on the way at the very last minute, and not a second before.
He didn’t want anything to stop him. Because if she was going to tell him to turn right around and go back to Wildstone, he wanted her to have to look into his eyes to say it.