Chapter 10 #3
“You can’t just have coffee for breakfast. Mac said you do that, but it’s not healthy.”
“Did he?” Colin looked at Mac, who took a bite of pancake with a deeply innocent look on his face.
“Yes,” Juni said. “And Auntie Mer makes good pancakes. Better than truck stops.”
“High praise,” Colin said.
“It is,” Maren managed.
Her voice sounded almost normal. Excellent. Maybe she could add professional actress to the list of careers she might need if she had to start a new life under an assumed name.
Colin moved to the seat where he could see doors, windows, people. The moment he sat down, she felt trapped. Not by Colin himself, but by whatever he’d learned at the meeting and wasn’t sharing.
He lifted the towel covering the plate and looked at the pancakes. “Thank you.”
“Juni insisted.”
Juni made a sound of protest through a mouthful of pancake.
Maren pointed her fork toward her. “Swallow first.”
Juni swallowed dramatically. “I did not insist. I reminded.”
Maren grinned. “My mistake.”
Colin picked up his fork. “Then thank you for the reminder.”
Juni nodded. “You’re welcome.”
He took a bite and Maren hated how much attention she paid to that. The way his lids lowered to half-mast for half a second.
“These are good,” he said.
Maren’s heart did a stupid cartwheel.
“They’re just from a mix.” She shrugged.
“Still good. Really good.”
Mac lowered his voice to a stage whisper and looked at Juni. “Told you he’d make an exception.”
Colin’s gaze moved to Mac.
There it was again. Not quite suspicion. Not quite irritation. Something tighter. Something Maren didn’t understand.
Mac understood it, though. She saw that much in the small lift of his eyebrows and the silent conversation that passed between the two men in a single look.
Then Mac smiled, easy and open, and turned back to Juni.
“What do you say, kiddo? After breakfast, we’ll clean up the kitchen then finish that unicorn masterpiece? ”
Juni considered. “Can I make the horn green?”
“I believe the Colorado unicorn statutes allow for green horns before noon.”
“Okay.”
Maren set her fork down. Her hands were starting to shake. Not obviously, she hoped.
Colin noticed anyway. Of course he did. His gaze dropped to her hands, then lifted back to her face. The grimness was still there, tucked behind the gentleness he had put on for Juni.
When they’d finished, Maren started to stand.
“Maren,” Colin said quietly, stopping her with just her name. “Can we talk for a minute?”
There it was. Her stomach fell so fast she felt lightheaded.
“Sure.”
Mac stood immediately. “Juni and I can clear the table and start on the kitchen.”
Juni hesitated, looking at Colin. “Are you leaving again?”
“No,” Colin said without a hint of hesitation.
Juni looked at Maren.
Maren smiled, though it felt wobbly at the edges. “We’re just going to talk on the couch, sweetie. You’ll see us the whole time.”
Juni accepted that after another second of consideration. She slid off her chair, carrying her plate with both hands. Mac grabbed the other plates and silverware and hovered over her on their way to the kitchen—not taking the plate from her, just there in case syrup, gravity, or fate intervened.
Maren settled herself on the couch in the front room where she could watch Juni at the sink and hear her explaining that unicorns had to live near mountains because rainbows needed somewhere to land. Colin sat beside her, close but not too close.
That almost made her tension worse.
Maren folded her arms across her chest. “So, let’s just cut to it,” she said quietly.
“Are we still welcome here? Or did they find out something about my sister that makes you all not trust me?”
A flash of pain, then anger, then control showed in Colin’s eyes.
“What?”
She kept her voice low. “I said, did they find something about Mira that makes you all not trust me?” She swallowed. “Something that means Juni can stay because she’s family, but I can’t?”
“No.”
The word came so sharply she blinked.
“No, what?”
“No one is separating you from Juni. No one is asking you to leave. No one is kicking either of you out.”
Her eyes stung so fast she had to look away. “You don’t know if that will change.”
“I do.”
The certainty in his voice nearly undid her.
Maren stared at the coffee table. A faint ring remained from the cup mac had set down there earlier. She focused on that instead of on him, because looking directly at Colin right then felt dangerous.
“You can’t know something like that,” she said.
“Yes, I can.”
“How?”
“Because I know Kyle and Arden. I know this team. They wouldn’t abandon you or try to separate the two of you.”
The tightness in her chest eased ever so slightly. “So they trust me now?”
“Yes,” he answered, but with the slightest hesitation.
She gave a shaky, humorless little laugh. “Are you sure about that?”
His voice lowered. “I’m part of the detail assigned to protect you and Juni. That means I have a say. And I trust you, Maren.”
She finally looked at him. Whatever he’d been carrying from the meeting was still there in his eyes. Anger, yes. Worry. Frustration. But she suddenly realized none of it was aimed at her. Something had been said at the meeting that he disagreed with, that made him angry.
That made it harder to hold herself together. She uncrossed her arms and wrapped them around her torso. She watched Colin raise his hand as if he were going to offer it to her, then he placed it in his lap instead.
“Maren—”
“What did they find?” she asked.
“Elissa and Flint did a first pass overnight. You check out exactly the way you said you would. Your work. Your house. Your parents. Your brothers being unreachable because they’re deployed. All of it. Which doesn’t surprise me at all, Maren.”
Maren let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.
“And Juni?”
“Juni is exactly who you said she is, and you are her legal guardian.”
“Yes, I am.” She couldn’t help but glance toward the kitchen at Juni. “So. That leaves Mira.”
“Yes. Mira…” He paused. “Her will.”
“What about it?”
“She set it up when she found out she was pregnant. Everything to you. Guardianship of Juni to you if anything happened to her.”
“I know.” For a second, the room went strange and quiet around her.
Mac and Juni’s voices blurred into something distant.
The smell of pancakes and coffee faded. All she could see was Mira, pregnant and scared, doing paperwork alone.
Making plans. Writing Maren’s name into the future without telling her.
“She knew,” Maren whispered. “At the time I thought it made sense to plan for the future when you had a baby…” Maren pressed a hand to her mouth.
Anger and grief collided so hard inside her chest she couldn’t tell one from the other.
“She knew she was in danger and…” Her voice cracked. “She knew, and she didn’t tell me.”
“I’m sorry.”
The words should have sounded useless. Maren had heard them enough. From police. From hospital staff. From people at the funeral who hadn’t known what else to say.
From Colin, they didn’t feel useless. They felt like a hand offered in the dark. He said them like he understood, like he’d been there. Maren braved a look into his eyes. All she saw reflecting back was pain.
She took a breath and forced herself to keep going. “What else?”
“Her work at LRH checks out. She moved into a higher-profile program before Juni was conceived. After that, her online footprint changed. Then around Juni’s birth, she went quiet.”
“She was a new mom.” Maren shook her head. “That’s the answer I would’ve given forty-eight hours ago. Now, I just don’t know.”
Anger flashed in Colin’s eyes, and she realized with a start that he was angry—no, furious—at her sister, a woman he’d never met.
“What about the man who called me?”
“They’re still tracking the call. It was a burner, but it still pinged a tower.”
“So you don’t know his name.”
“Not yet.”
Maren sighed. “One more secret Mira left behind.”
Maren closed her eyes. Mira’s secret life had swallowed everything.
Colin’s hand darted out and grabbed hers. His touch felt electric before settling into warm comfort. He ran his thumb across the back of her hand. “You aren’t alone in this, Maren. Neither of you are.”
Maren opened her eyes to find Colin staring intently at her.
Colin shifted closer. “Hey.”
She shook her head. “I’m okay.”
“You’re not.”
“No, but I’m functional, which is the next best thing.”
Colin looked…not amused, exactly, but close. His expression was soft enough to make her heart ache.
“You don’t have to be functional every second.”
“Yes, I do.”
“No,” he said. “You don’t.”
She looked at him then, really looked. There was a tenderness in his eyes that went straight to her core.
No man had looked at her that way in such a long time—if ever.
Maren was always the one who held it together, who shook off the little things with a smile and ‘it’s fine’ and got on with the next task.
She wasn’t a risk-taker like her older brothers or Mira, who’d been the one to sneak out of the house to meet her boyfriend or go to a late-night party.
Maren wasn’t used to being seen the way Colin was studying her. It made her feel all melty inside, like maybe she could let go. Because Colin looked like a man who would protect her as long as she wanted him to. That was a dangerous thing to want.
And dangerously easy to want it.
“I’m angry at her,” Maren whispered.
“At Mira?”
She nodded, ashamed as soon as it was out.
“I love her. I miss her every day. But I’m so angry at her right now.
She knew she was in danger. She had time to make a will, but she didn’t have time to tell me what was going on?
To tell me Juni’s father’s name? To tell me that if she died, people might come after us? ”
She watched Colin’s jaw tick.
“She left me with a baby,” Maren said. “And I didn’t resent it for a minute.
I love Juni more than my own life. But I didn’t know what I was doing.
I still don’t know half the time. And Mira knew something was wrong.
She knew and she just…” Maren covered her eyes with one hand. “I hate that I’m mad at her.”
“I’d be worried if you weren’t.”
She lowered her hand.
He gave her a small smile. “Doesn’t mean you love her less. Actually, I admire you right now. It’s hard to love someone who’s lied to you.”
In the kitchen, Juni scolded Mac for missing a spot. A startled laugh broke out of Maren before she could stop it. It wasn’t much. Barely a sound, really. But it felt good.
Colin glanced toward the kitchen, then back at her. “We’re going to keep digging. Carefully. Elissa’s going slow because she doesn’t want to trip any alarms at NCIS or LRH.”
“Alarms?”
“Digital ones.”
“Right. Of course.” Maren let out a breath. “Because this is my life now.”
“Only for now. Not forever.”
Not forever meant she could go home.
If home even exists anymore.
That thought terrified her. She looked away before Colin could read too much, though she suspected he already had.
“Thank you for telling me,” she said. “Does Kyle know you’re telling me this much?”
Colin’s mouth twitched, but his eyes stayed serious. “Kyle knows I’m coming back to brief you.”
“That isn’t exactly what I asked.”
“No,” he said. “It isn’t.”
They stared at each other.
Then, absurdly, she smiled. He’s got my back.
Colin’s gaze dropped to their hands for half a second.
So did hers. She’d almost forgotten he was gripping her hand like she’d gone overboard and he was pulling her out of the ocean.
He squeezed it, then he let her hand go. The way his fingers brushed across hers as he pulled back sent tingles down her spine. She immediately wanted to grab his hand again just so he could do it again.
No. He needs to keep a professional distance.
Which is deeply annoying right now.
Ugh! Focus.
Easier said than done when her head was swimming, and Colin looked like his head might be as well.
No. Just your overactive imagination.
Juni called out, just in time to break the spell. “Colin, Mac is bad at washing dishes.”
Mac sighed.
Colin laughed, as he looked at Maren. The grimness from the meeting had vanished.
“Guess I’d better go assess the damage,” he said.
“To the plates?”
“To Mac’s ego.”
Maren smiled before she could stop herself.
Colin stood, then hesitated. He looked back down at her, uncertainty crossing his face.
“Fair warning,” he said quietly. “I don’t really do kids. So if I screw up the dishwashing inspection or... whatever else, that’s why.”
Maren’s smile turned softer. “Colin, you made her a pinkie promise this morning and she hasn’t stopped talking about it. I think you’re doing just fine.”
He looked surprised. “Yeah, well. She’s...different.”
“She is,” Maren agreed. “But I don’t think it’s just her.”
Colin held her gaze for a moment longer than necessary, then headed to the kitchen where Juni was already explaining in great detail exactly where Mac had gone wrong with the dishcloth. Maren watched Mac accept the critique with noble suffering.
Maren stayed on the couch for a moment. They weren’t being kicked out. No one was separating her from Juni. Colin had her back.
Juni laughed. Colin said something low that made Mac protest. Morning light stretched across the safehouse floor, and for one impossible second, Maren felt hopeful.
She picked up her coffee before it got cold and went to join them.