Chapter 28
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Mase
Ishouldn’t be here.
Every part of me knows that.
Yet I still find myself entering behind a group of sleazy-looking men, because I seem to have lost my damn control over myself.
Control is something I learned to possess as a necessity a long time ago. But that control has been tested more than ever over these past few weeks: stretched, bent, and beaten by things that would be considered normal by others.
Not me.
Jayne has been staying with me for a month now, and we’ve fallen into a routine of sorts.
Most mornings, we eat breakfast together with Lulu as our entertainment, then in the afternoons, Jayne comes to the gym to continue building her strength and confidence before going to work.
If I’m not with a client, I join her for the workout.
Then, after I’m done for the evening, I go home to find dinner waiting for me in the microwave.
On Fridays, when she’s off, she comes for the self-defense class, then we leave together, stopping to pick up dinner on the way home.
On the surface, it looks smooth, like unconventional domesticated bliss.
But underneath, there are raging torrents of contaminated water, dark and poisonous. We both have pasts and issues that are always present, simmering just below the calm—only she doesn’t know about mine.
I had offered to keep Lulu for an extra week while my neighbors settled back in from their trip, just so we had her as an extra barrier in the apartment. Plus, she’s been keeping me company in the evenings until Jayne’s done with work.
Unfortunately, I had to return her today, and since I didn’t work, I was alone with my thoughts for far too long.
Now I’m here because my apartment was too fucking empty with both girls gone.
And while we have been getting closer, I can tell Jayne’s been keeping an emotional distance ever since we picked up more of her stuff from her apartment a couple of weeks ago, and I don’t like it.
Selecting a seat similar to the last time I was here, I settle in with my drink and scan the crowd, muscles tight.
It’s busy tonight, filled with people of all categories: teenagers who were let in by the lax security, men whose wives are at home with their kids, old men trying to cling to their youth, and women who are curious about either the workers or the work.
I haven’t seen Jayne yet, but it’s just a matter of time.
“Well, hello there.” An unfamiliar red-headed woman sits her ass on the armrest of my chair, her fingers dancing up my bicep and shoulder. “Were you waiting for me to come along and dance for you, baby?”
Just like last time, I don’t even entertain the idea. “I’m fine, thank you.” I smile at her, taking a sip of my drink.
“That you are.” She runs her gaze over my black dress shirt and slacks. “But I could make you feel a whole lot better.” Tugging on my collar, she licks her lips, making me wonder if it’s just a dance she’s offering. “What do you say?”
I shift my head back, gently lifting her hand off me. “No, I’m just enjoying the show.” I dip my head to the stage. “But I’m sure there are plenty of people here who would love your attention.”
Her smile falters the slightest bit, but she doesn’t let my rejection bother her. These women are skilled at seduction and usually have multiple layers on top to protect their feelings.
The redhead rises from her perch, pushing out her lower lip in faux sadness. “That’s too bad. If you change your mind, be sure to come find me.”
With a swing of her hips, she sashays off into the crowd, leaving me alone once more.
My gaze flits over the crowd again, bouncing from person to person, looking for the one I want.
Finally, Jayne drifts into view, surprise, delight, and nervousness flickering across her gorgeous face as she approaches. “Mase?” she questions, as if her eyes might be tricking her.
I make the mistake of letting my gaze drop, just for a second, but it’s a second too long. A lacy, black babydoll clings to her body, with long gloves that match. And the same crown as last time sits perfectly on her head.
While they’re all attractive here, none of the other women can compete with her lush curves and flawless skin. Whether she has her natural blonde hair or not, makeup or not, smiling or not, she stands out.
She looks like a fucking queen.
Tempting is what she is.
I clear my throat. “Hey.”
“What are you doing here?”
With a casual shrug, I stretch out my legs, the picture of calm. “I was just in the area. Thought I’d check it out.”
Through the beat of the song and the chatter of the crowd, I hear her laugh.
“Liar.” After looking over her shoulder, she moves a little closer and softly brushes her fingers over my arm.
“It’s busy tonight, so my boss, Chester, would be pissed if he caught me standing and chatting.
I can act for a minute like I’m trying to convince you that you want a dance. ”
“Okay.”
While she pretends to lure me in, I have to pretend that her touch doesn’t send goosebumps trailing up my arm, that it doesn’t have my body reacting in all the wrong ways, urging me to do all the wrong things.
Distraction. I need to keep talking.
“Does Chester get angry with you often?”
Jayne leans closer, one hand gripping the armrest, her head tipped to the side in a playful way.
Anyone looking would think she’s flirting with me.
“He’s a dick most days, but him actually getting angry isn’t often.
He just doesn’t like us wasting time that we could be earning him money or gaining another regular client. ”
Running my fingers through my hair, I keep my eyes locked on her face, a slight smirk tipping the corner of my lips, like I’m contemplating her non-existent offer. “Chester seems like a real treat. He left me sitting close to an hour the last time I came in to talk with him.”
Jayne pauses her movements. “You wanted to talk to him?”
“Yeah. Usually, at places like this, I like to speak with the owner or manager about sending their girls for a self-defense class, instead of me offering it to them directly. It’s usually better received and appears more legit.”
She seems to mull that over, then shakes her head, lowering to the same spot the redhead was moments ago. “He sent girls to dance for you instead.”
“What?”
“He said any girl who could get you to crack and accept a lap dance would be granted a request.”
“Are you serious?”
What a fucking piece of work.
Here I was, trying to better these women’s lives in some small way; meanwhile, he had them doing his bidding for his own entertainment.
Molars pressed together, I shake my head while looking around the club, wondering what else that fucker makes these women do.
“What would your request have been?” I ask, eyes returning to her smokey gray ones.
Her smile is rueful. “I would have opted out of the private room that night.”
The private room?
“Shit.” I tip my head back, eyes closing. The night she took something just to be able to get through it. I could have stopped it from happening. “It’s my fault you ended up in there after all.”
“It’s not your fault. Don’t even think that.” She grips my shoulder, her expression serious. “It had nothing to do with you. If anything, I was trying to use you to get out of something.”
“I would have let you, had I known.”
Her eyes soften. “I know you would have.” A beat passes before she glances over her shoulder again. “I think I need to move on. Chester is on the floor and has looked this way a couple of times already, and I’m not doing anything.”
I should let her leave. I know I should.
But the moment she starts getting up, I realize how much I don’t want her to.
“Dance for me,” I blurt. “And we can keep chatting.” Her head whips around, but she doesn’t give me her eyes so I can gauge her reaction. They’re focused on where my hand is holding her bare thigh, stopping her from getting up. I wrench it off her. “Sorry.”
Slowly, she drags her eyes up to meet mine, hers filled with conflicting emotions and uncertainty.
And still, I can’t bring myself to tell her to go.
“Are you sure?” she finally asks, her voice soft.
“Yes.”
I watch as her throat moves. “What about Heidi?”
I almost choke on nothing. What the fuck? “Heidi?”
It suddenly dawns on me . . . my mom’s comment on the phone about her. I bet that’s why she’s been acting a little different lately.
“Heidi is no one. There has never been anything between us.” In fact, I haven’t even seen her since that day. “And besides, this is just so we can talk more.”
Jayne stares at me for another beat before dipping her chin. “Okay. If you’re sure.”
I say nothing.
Lifting from the armrest, she moves in slow motion to stand between my legs, giving me plenty of time to change my mind.
I don’t.
Releasing a tight breath, I keep my mouth shut.
Okay.
Slipping into the role for everyone else to see, she leans down and starts stroking my thighs, back and forth in swirling motions, spreading heat as she goes. It’s tentative at first, but with each stroke, she seems to get more into it. And fuck, I already know this was a mistake.
After sliding dangerously close to my dick, she moves to my stomach and chest, repeating the sensual stroking before stopping when she gets to my shoulders.
With her fingers pressed into my tense muscles, she lowers one knee, then the other, so they’re bracketing my thighs on either side.
Jaw clenching, I try to stay calm and keep my breathing even, my focus on her face, even as my skin buzzes with electricity.
But then she begins to move as a new song starts, rolling her entire body in sensual waves over my lap, all while holding my gaze.
She’s so fucking beautiful. Sexy.
“What did you want to chat about?”
Heart thumping, I swallow, trying to dislodge the lust starting to clog my throat and flood my system. Everything feels alive.
I grip the armrests, keeping my eyes locked on her face. Her lips.
Did she ask a question?
“What?”
She laughs a little breathlessly. “I asked what you wanted to talk about?”
“Oh. Um.” Yes. Think. Talk. Anything. “The apartment was empty without you and Lulu in it.”
“Really?”
Jayne smiles, but I can’t tell if it’s a sad or happy one. I’m sucked in by the different grays of her eyes competing for space.
Leaning in, she inhales deeply while continuing to dance. Did she just sniff me?
“You smell nice,” she comments, confirming my suspicion, then tilts her head slightly, exposing her slender neck that’s begging to be sucked, bitten.
“So do you,” I rasp. That’s all I manage to get out. My mind is fried.
Lowering her ass and leaning closer, Jayne starts working her hips a little harder. And fuck me, I know she can feel what she’s doing to me.
Wrong. This is all wrong. And yet, I’ve never been more tempted to give in and be the man I was told I’d become.
I’m dangling by one hand from the top of that wall I’ve kept in place until now, darkness stretching below me.
You’re just like him.
The feel of Jayne’s gloved fingers sliding around the side of my neck snaps me back. So small, so breakable. And she trusts me.
She wouldn’t if she knew how fucked-up I really am.
“Mase . . .”
Nothing comes after my name, no conversation, just her increased breathing mixing with mine in the few inches between us.
Her face gets closer, but I can’t tell if I moved or if she did.
My skin is on fire.
Even though I’m not looking at her body, I can see it undulating in front of me, can feel it brushing over my lap.
She doesn’t just smell nice, she smells divine, her scent seeping into me like a drug.
Every swirl of her hips is a temptation to reach out and grab her. Take her. Fuck her.
My fingers itch to touch her.
But a little voice from the other side of the wall I’m hanging onto reminds me that she was assaulted. She doesn’t even like doing this.
Eyes still connected, her fingers glide up to my jaw, and her lips are so fucking close, slightly parted. There to take.
Heat and lust and all things depraved pump through my veins.
Closer. Closer. A hairsbreadth away now.
Then suddenly, Jayne pulls back and scrambles to her feet, disoriented.
She glances around us, running a shaky hand over her hair.
And that’s when the club comes back into focus: the music, the smells, the people. We’re not alone.
“I, um . . . I need to get back to work.”
Work. This is where she works.
That mental slap is exactly what I needed to bring me back to reality. I got caught up in the moment and was thoroughly seduced, because that’s what she’s supposed to do. She didn’t want it.
Would that have mattered?
“Right.” I shift back, adjusting myself in the process. “Yeah.”
Jayne laughs awkwardly, then abruptly turns, disappearing out of view.
Shit.
I release a long breath, then reach for my drink and swallow half of it before setting the glass back onto the table. But it does little to douse the fire burning inside me.
Leaning forward, I rest my elbows on my knees, rubbing both hands over my face and through my hair. My thoughts are all sorts of jumbled.
Why did I tell her to dance for me?
I need to get back my control. Too many parts of me are trying to surface, and I can’t keep them all contained.
After a few long seconds, I sit back, looking around the club to see if I can find her again.
But that was a mistake.
Because I watch as Jayne crouches over the lap of an older man, facing away from him. Facing me.
My cock deflates in an instant.
Even with her expression looking apologetic, her movements looking more robotic, and the fact she’s not touching him like she did me, my nostrils flare and hands clench into fists.
Now, my blood boils for a whole different reason.
She’s dancing for someone else who isn’t me.
This is her job.
That may be so, but I can’t just sit here and watch it. Pushing to my feet, I stalk to the exit without looking back.