Chapter 37
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Mase
Despite what I do for work, I’ve never considered myself a violent man. I’ve never went and sought out a fight, never felt the need to settle things with my fists.
The fight I had with Campbell was a one-off, brought on by devastated emotions.
Thinking about why we were fighting back then makes me sick now.
Regardless of not being violent, for the past month, rage has been simmering just below the surface, seeking an escape.
It’s taken me weeks to get to this point. Four weeks of searching, while trying to assuage the anger.
And though I could just let things be, I don’t fucking want to.
Since Jayne gave me that letter explaining everything from the night of her assault to the day she found out the truth, my blood has been fire under my skin. Everything in me has felt tight and tense, needing a release that hasn’t come at the gym.
I had to convince myself to stay calm while I was reading it. I had to fight to keep myself from blowing up right then and there.
I now understand why she didn’t go forward when she found out.
I now understand the type of torture she’s been living with.
I now understand why she’s felt so fucking alone.
And it’s all because of him.
The pathetic, weak excuse of a man who didn’t like being told no.
I lean back against the brick wall and pocket my hands, keeping myself hidden in the shadows of the night, muscles tight, jaw locked.
I haven’t contacted Jayne at all. She said we couldn’t while she was in-patient, but I know she didn’t want to be in contact while she works on herself. If and when she’s ready to reach out, I’ll be here.
But it doesn’t mean I haven’t hated every minute of not talking to her.
These past few weeks without her has been dismal at best, miserable at worst, even though I’ve been keeping busy, and my mind has been mostly occupied.
It’s not knowing where she is and what she’s doing right now that’s been messing with my mind. Especially when I keep thinking about how I found her that night, bleeding out on the bathroom floor.
I don’t know how long she’ll need to figure things out. I don’t even know what she’s planning on doing to make things right.
But worst of all, I don’t even know if she’ll still want me when this is all over.
I shake away the thoughts.
More questions that I have to sit with.
Maybe I really should be working on myself as well, like she said.
A few more minutes pass, then finally, the reason I’m here appears.
He walks past where I’m standing, his steps a little uncoordinated from drinking too much at the private club.
I push off the wall, my body buzzing with unspent energy.
This isn’t just for Jayne. This is for Jacob and Jason as well, and for all the other women like my mom who have suffered at the hands of a man like this.
“Dylan.”