Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Britney
Home . With Michael, who seemed so calm, steady and serene. My heart raced, and my skin was all jumpy. I needed to breathe, and in my place, with him here, I was afraid I would get lost.
I grabbed flats because my feet were pounding from the heels earlier and said, “I was thinking you should stay here, but I’m going to go out for an hour.”
His eyebrows went up. “You want me here when you get home?”
“Yes.” I stepped toward, closed my eyes, and pressed my lips to his.
He was wonderful. I was the walking disaster. In that moment, when we were alone, I felt whole, and I hated the second we needed air.
When I let him go, he nodded and said, “I’ll prepare dinner.”
"Wonderful" was too nice a word for him. Accepting that kind of money would make me exactly who my friends said I was. I shivered but then waved and dashed back out the door.
If I hadn't been pregnant, I would've been texting my friends to meet me for a round of cosmopolitans. However, having my little one meant no more drinks for me for a while. So in the elevator, I texted everyone to meet me at a coffee shop where I’d get something herbal.
Kelly wrote back first for the address, which I sent to the group chat.
She was getting off work soon, so I picked one closer to her, and when I walked in, she was just getting the seat.
I hugged her as a lifeline and said, “Kelly, we need to talk.”
After reading the menu twice, I found a lemongrass, which was the closest to my preferred drink, which was sweet with a touch of lime, and decided to add sugar. Kelly stuck to a regular coffee.
As we were alone, she asked, “Is it true you need a realtor?”
I froze. She was so eager.
I took her hands in mine and said, “When I do, you’re it, of course.”
“I’m so excited.”
Selling homes was probably more lucrative than teaching though I would also want her to teach my infant.
I sat back and said, “Don’t be yet. I don’t know if I should marry Michael.”
Kelly’s eyes widened. “What’s stopping you?”
Me. Michael wasn’t someone who faked things like I did. He was very real and polite, and I was still getting to know him.
Isabel walked up to the table, and the waiter took her order.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
Unlike me, Isabella seemed afraid to let her guard down much though, with her polish, she was probably perfect for someone like Michael.
I froze and said, “Nothing important, Isabel.”
The waiter brought us all our drinks.
Once he left, Kelly said, “She’s thinking of telling Michael no.”
Isabel pressed her hand to her heart. “That’s crazy. Look at Hope and Charlie.”
Kelly nodded like they were working together. “Or Avril and Kir. They both lied a little, but it was clear they were in love.”
The drink wasn’t as satisfying as the real thing, for my nerves, but I shook my head and said, “That’s not me and Michael. He was my sexy secret.”
Isabel mirrored my sitting. “Who had his own secrets going on.”
True. I cringed, for I’d told him I was pregnant because I’d wanted to be good. Now, I was feeling as though I'd trapped him or something.
“And you were only saying no because you thought he was poor and you hate poverty though he checks every other button on your list,” Kelly said.
My heart stilled. My friends knew me well.
Isabel smiled and nodded. “And a trillion dollars definitely levels him up from 'booty call.'”
I closed my eyes. I was only predatory when it came to getting clients, but my friends were attributing the wrong reasons to me, for accepting Michael. I closed my eyes. “I’m not that bad, am I?”
Kelly patted my arm and said, “You are, and you know it. Is his cock not satisfying?”
I met her gaze and laughed. Then I asked, “How do you teach children all day?”
A smile formed on her face as she picked up her cup like a wine glass and said, “I’m an angel when I’m there.”
“Do you want Hope’s permission or something?” Isabel asked.
All my friends thought I should be with Michael.
Part of me wanted to continue playing the part I'd created, but a baby changed everything. If I risked continuing to pretend, everyone would soon see what a failure at life I was. For the time being, I told them what they wanted to hear. “No. She doesn’t need to know he came to my house whenever she was upset about having a butler.”
Isabel winked and said, “She’d have let you keep him.”
Kelly finished her drink. “Look, go and get your man.”
Right. I wondered if the two of them were about to hit a bar without me. I shrugged. “Okay, I will, but I am not about taking a man’s money.”
Isabel sat back. “Since when?”
Heat rose in my face. “Since always. I think I was good at my job because I had to prove I was better than everyone else, especially all those annoying men on power trips.”
“None of that matters now,” Kelly said. “You’re going to be a mom, and it’s clear you want that.”
“I need to take a walk.”
“We’re here if you need us.”
But my life wasn’t ever going to be the same—no more drinking till all hours and getting the luxury limo to bring me home to my empty place, which I normally ran away from as soon as I woke.
I hugged my waist and walked through Central Park. Most people were on their phones or talking to their groups or families. My gaze landed on a group of women pushing baby strollers together.
None of my friends would be in a circle like that, and the only reason I had friends at all was because Hope and Isabel had recruited me years before.
I took out my phone so that I would stop gawking and decided to call the one person who would know the real me. On the second ring, she answered.
“Mom?” I said.
“Britney?” She sounded dumbfounded, but she hadn’t ever tried to reach out to me, either, over the past long five years.
I tensed. “Yeah. How are you?”
“The question is what happened to you, that you’re now calling?”
I winced as if she’d slapped me as I translated her words to mean “What do you need me to fix now?” I stared at my building, where Michael was waiting for me, and asked, “What do you mean?”
“Are you sick, going to the hospital or something?”
I tugged on an ear and realized I wanted a hug. “No, nothing like that.”
“Heartbroken, as your man is way out of our league and leaving you?”
I stopped in my tracks. Last I’d checked, my parents refused to get Wi-Fi.
I swallowed and asked, “My man?”
Her words were like daggers. “Your sister found you on the internet and showed us the stories.”
Tears formed in my eyes. Fuck me. She would believe every lie about me chasing him down for his cash and title because when I lived with her, I would’ve done worse.
I shook my head. “A lot of that is overblown.”
“So you’re not blackmailing him or anything like that?”
Breathing became harder. Clutching my stomach, I said, “No, never. I might not be Ava, but I’m not all bad.”
“Then why are you calling?”
My plan was feeling like a huge mistake, but my heart still longed to know that I could fit in with my family. “I… I was thinking of quitting my job and buying a place closer to home.”
“I thought you were fancy and above us now.”
“Well, I’d buy all new.”
Soon, our farm would all be suburban sprawl as the small town nearby was one of the fastest growing cities in the country. I’d been keeping tabs for the day I went home.
“Of course you would.”
I took a deep breath and decided I needed to formulate a plan that didn’t include her. Somehow, I needed to be a good mom without any help. “Look, I was just thinking it over.”
“For when that trillionaire of yours leaves you for one of his own.”
I reached the door of my building and said, “Mom, I got to go.”
I breezed past the front desk and found the elevator waiting for me. I wasn’t on the top floor, but my condo was valued well. Maybe if I took out a closet and streamlined my clothes, I could find room for a crib and a small bedroom.
I rocked on my feet, and the second I opened the door, my stomach craved the savory aroma in the air. I took off my shoes and found Michael in the dining area.
I lifted my chin. “Michael, I’ve been thinking.”
He took my hand and directed me to sit. “Tell me over the lamb shepherd’s pie.”
“You made shepherd’s pie?”
He walked out to the kitchen. “I remember you liked it when I had before.”
I rocked in my seat and sipped on the bubbly mineral water he’d left me. When he came back, he placed my dinner in front of me, and I grabbed his hand. He sat beside me, and I faced him, thinking I would lose all my nerve in a minute.
“You’re sweet,” I said. “Look, I don’t thinking faking a relationship is a good idea.”
“Why?” His voice was soothing and calm.
I sniffled. “You will never fit in my messed-up life. I don’t even know who I am.”
He smiled at me and squeezed my palm. “You’re Britney. Strong, feisty, caring, sweet when you think no one’s looking, a great friend to others, and the woman having my baby.”
Damn. He made me sound nice. I stood and pushed my chair back. “Fuck dinner. Michael… the internet research says the more sex we have, the easier having this baby will be.” I tugged on his arm and led him away from the warm meal.
“If that’s what you want. We’re not fake in the bedroom.”
I needed him. I stripped off the denim dress, and once it hit the floor, I said, “Absolutely not. We’re at our best this way. Now, kiss me.”
He laughed and finished dropping those pants of his. “Bossy tonight too.”
“Is that bad?” I asked and pressed closer. My body tingled in awareness of him.
He wrapped his arms around me. “I like that I know where I stand with you and what you want.”
“I want you. I want this,” I said and cupped his gorgeous, muscular ass.
Forgetting myself in his arms was the only truth I needed right then.