Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Britney
New York, a week later
I had no job and no more cold pizza, and the houses I kept finding in the area online all had something wrong with them. I didn’t want to be near a sewer or power line. I rubbed my belly. Michael had probably thought I’d lost our child though I’d said it was all me. He hadn’t called.
I didn’t blame him because I’d run and not explained anything. I was staying in the one bedroom I’d lived in for years and avoided going out.
Somehow, I had to make up for stealing an inheritance that was worth far more than I could provide.
The doorman downstairs rang, and I assumed it was my Chinese food order.
However, Kelly’s voice called back. “There you are.”
I would buzz her up though my bathrobe was not exactly couture. “Are you alone?”
“No, Isabel is here.”
Fine. Two of my single friends, not dating friends of Michael, would be a sight for sore eyes. They must have returned from London.
“Come on up,” I said.
The doorman let them past, and I quickly changed my shirt as it had tomato stains.
My heart pounded in my chest. I rushed to the door and let in my friends, who both looked polished, having come from work.
Kelly hugged me and said, “Finally. We’d been calling you for days.”
Isabel turned with her arms hugging her waist and said, “No one’s seen you in days.”
We walked to my living room, and I wished I’d cleaned up some.
“How’s Michael?” I asked.
Kelly’s face crumpled. “The press was hounding him, but Miley and Jeff got him some injunctions. He’s worried about you.”
Tears wells in my eyes, but I shook my head. “I don’t want to see him.”
Isabel then said, “We wanted to tell you we’re so sorry. You clearly wanted to have the baby.”
I took a breath, placed my hand on my stomach and said, “I am going to have this baby. What are you saying?”
They both sucked in their breath.
Isabel then said, “Wait. You know he thinks you lost it. You’re still pregnant?”
I cringed. More lies—I was clearly the queen of them. “Fuck me. I told him it was me, not the baby.”
Kelly asked, “Why would he think that?”
Tears washed down my cheeks. I’d hated myself since the day in the hospital and the flight home. I’d heard his family and all the drama that Michael hadn’t known. It was good that he fixed everything, and he didn’t need me.
I swallowed. “I was under stress, and I’m not the kind to ever fall in love. I need to keep my life simple and stress free from here on out.”
Kelly asked, “You don’t love him?”
Isabel broke the silence that clung in the air. “Not now, Kelly.” She turned to me and said, “You look like you’ve not slept in days, which can’t be good for the baby.”
She wasn’t pushing me. I closed my eyes. All I truly wanted was to be safe and have a life that I controlled.
Kelly said, “You need to fix this now. He’s hurting and broken.”
Tears washed down my face. I’d hoped he’d understood me when I ran out. Hurting Michael was another knife in my heart.
I swallowed and said, “I wanted him to be free to live his best life.”
Kelly stared at me. “I still don’t get it. Why don’t you love him? It seemed so obvious to me you were both happy.”
I let out a sad laugh as a way of breaking my tears.
Then I stared at her and said, “Because the stress of that kind of inheritance was crazy. If I have a daughter, I don’t want her to be betrothed to anyone.
And my son doesn’t need burdens. They should make their own choices. I need to protect them.”
Isabel said, “You were doing great. You won over the damn queen. His parents seemed to respect you.”
Kelly stared at me, making my skin prickle. She folded her hands. “So that’s it. You don’t care about Michael.”
Fuck me. If she didn’t understand, he wouldn’t either. I stood and paced. “I do. I miss him, but the life I had is much safer for raising a child.”
“Than telling the man of your dreams you’re in love?” Kelly asked.
I froze. I wasn’t a big believer in feelings.
Isabel took Kelly’s hand and said, “I don’t know about any of that stress. Look, we can get drinks after you give birth.”
Then I knew for sure that my life there was over. If my friends hated me, I truly had nothing though not having Michael was worse. I hugged my waist. “I’m not sure what happens now.”
“You’ve always been our reigning queen of style and grace,” Isabel said.
I shook my head. “Doesn’t matter. I can’t risk my child dealing with a future where everything rests on his or her head. My baby and Michael both deserve better.”
Kelly said, “Even if you don’t love him, you need to fix this.”
She was right. I needed to set things straight so that he would know he was still going to be a dad. My head was pounding.
“I’ve never loved anyone but me all my life,” I said.
Kelly asked, “And this baby?”
I turned toward her, wishing she at least understood. I nodded. “Gets to be my one exception.”
Kelly hugged her waist and asked, “But not Michael? Did he do something we should hate him for?”
I slumped in my chair. I had no defense. “No. He and I were a huge lie.”
She blinked like I was speaking words she hadn’t understood.
Isabel said, “Don’t tell me that blog struck again.”
Right. The Regina blog. I shook my head, recalling that all the stuff I’d been warned about was published the day I came home. Michael’s sister had issues beyond threatening me.
I swallowed and said, “You read it, so you know the truth.”
Kelly said, “I know you were happier than I’d ever seen you.”
“Happy” wasn’t a thing for me.
I rocked in my chair and said, “It was all a lie on a lie.”
Isabel asked, “So that’s it, then?”
I took a deep breath. Nothing was ever going to be the same. I swallowed and said, “I probably need your help selling this place.”
Kelly glanced around and said, “Let’s table that till you’ve smoothed things over with Michael.”
“Fair enough.”
Isabel glanced around. “Besides, you’ll seriously clean it first. You were never this messy in all the years I’ve known you.”
I nodded. “I’ll pay for the deep clean when I let the maid back in.”
Isabel placed a hand on her hip and asked, “Did he really pay you twenty-five million dollars?”
“I have wired the money back,” I said, hating the idea of Michael paying me off. I wasn’t there for his cash.
“You’re breaking up our group for real, then,” Isabel said.
I closed my eyes and wished I was smarter and more capable. “I love you all.”
“So you do know how to love,” Kelly said and hugged me.
I swallowed and saw how Isabel was quiet. I let Kelly go and said, “Please stop trying to fix me, Isabel. I’m not going to marry him for his money.”
Kelly then said, “How about because he clearly loves you?”
I tensed. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
Kelly stared at me like I was crazy. “He moved in here with you, took you home to his parents, your parents, bought you a dream place, and did everything to make you happy.”
“Michael’s sweet,” I said.
Isabel added. “He is knee-deep in love with you. I’d bet money on it.”
If he did, then he was crazy. I was a walking disaster.
I shook my head. “Let’s not talk about bets.”
Isabel said, “Because of his sister and some Scottish guy the blog talked about?”
My eyes widened. The day before, my mother had mocked me for thinking I could manipulate Michael’s family. I opened my phone to the blog, which I hadn’t read since.
“You heard about Bernadette?” I asked.
As both my friends nodded, Isabel said, “Avril feels for her. It was why we stayed in London longer. She tried to stop the blackmail, but the blogger refused to listen and talked bad about the Norouzis, Michael, us, and you. Then Michael was having a hard time ending the contract with Bernadette’s fiancé as the laws were old and complicated.
Miley and Jeff are both working on the case against the gossip blog. ”
I wasn’t able to move for a second.
The doorman rang, and it was my food. I told him to send it up. Then I said, “Another reason to be happy I’m American.”
Kelly asked, “How can you sleep next to him, have his baby, talk about how sex is amazing, laugh with him, clearly enjoy being with him, and not be in love?”
Isabel went to get my food for me as I sat and said, “Because I’m not the girl he needs to marry.”
Kelly asked, “Who is?”
Isabel had grabbed my order and placed it on the table nearby, and I pointed at her. “Honestly, it should be someone like Isabel,” I said.
She laughed and batted her eyes. “Me?”
When she rejoined us, I said, “You’re sweet, kind, and would make a kick-ass duchess who doesn’t swear.”
Isabel shook her head. “Except I don’t love men who don’t love me back.”
“Agreed,” Kelly said.
I turned my attention to Isabel and asked, “How are things with Xerses?”
She shrugged. “There is nothing with him. We enjoy each other’s company during group meetings, but that’s it.”
I smiled and said, “Well, if you sell my house and come to North Carolina, you’ll be welcome to stay forever.”
Kelly stared at me, and I wasn’t sure what she was thinking.
Then Isabel said, “Thanks. Look, we need to go see Michael now, and you should join us to fix this.”
My heart pounded. He was in New York.
I swallowed and asked, “Where is he?”
Kelly said, “At that condo you bought together. We promised to visit, but we can circle back after.”
“No need. I’m tired and hungry,” I said quickly. Then I walked them to the door and said, “Just let me tell him in my own time about our baby.”
Kelly said, “Secrets and lies like that aren’t good.”
I nodded. She was right. I needed to fix everything somehow.
I said, “It won’t be long. I’ve not showered in days, and I don’t want to stink when I tell him.”
Kelly nodded. They both left, and I headed to clean up. All week, I’d refused to consider what I wanted because every time I tried, I kept thinking about him. So I needed him to see I wasn’t perfect.