Five - Aaron
I was more nervous and hornier than I’d ever been. It was a strange combination, but potent.
I thought the ‘home turf advantage’ would make me calmer, or at least bring me a fraction of Kevin’s effortless charm or Paisley’s bravery.
No such luck. I stared at the door like a condemned man, wondering what I’d gotten myself into.
I liked Kevin. I was genuinely thinking of making a move on him when Paisley waltzed into the room and changed everything. Now I had to figure out if she was making things better or worse.
There was the chance they would hit it off, and I would end up ignored, although Kevin had shot me several private messages reassuring me that wasn’t going to happen.
They were scattered among other messages asking if I would be okay with him taking a run at Paisley—to which I replied a noncommittal ‘that’s fine’—but at least he was making sure I felt included.
I kind of got the hint that he was flirting with me during those exchanges, too, although I had no idea.
I’d never flirted with another man, and had no idea what was banter and what was an outright promise.
“We’ll have a good time no matter what,” signed off with a winking emoji, could easily be interpreted as either.
I’d decided all week to do what I did best: ignore my feelings and put everything down to my imagination. Bury myself in my work and not think too much about what any of our messages had meant so far. That was the plan.
I didn’t stick to it. I reread every exchange. I obsessed over the details. I pored over every detail with a detective’s rigor. By the time Saturday arrived, I’d imagined every ‘what if’ scenario possible. Everything but the chance that I might be the one who gets the girl, or the guy, or both.
Was my lack of dating success coloring my every thought? It was possible, but it was also hard to argue with results. With empirical data of the disaster that was my love life, or lack thereof.
I’d kept myself busy as much as possible during the day. I’d cleaned every corner—even behind the couch—and shopped for snacks. Now everything looked ready to eat, perfectly displayed next to my large, custom-made board game table.
I was still obsessing over which detail I’d most likely overlooked or gotten completely wrong when the doorbell rang, jolting me from my reverie and making me let out a small, very unmanly yelp.
I collected myself and checked the time. It was an hour before anyone was due to arrive, but Kevin was standing on my doorstep, looking as confusingly enticing as he always did.
“I’m early, and I brought beers!” He held them up for the door camera.
Composing myself and hoping that he didn’t hear me scream, I answered the door.
“You’re very early.” I tried to admonish him, but the words lacked any edge whatsoever.
“Of course. We have to plan. May I?”
I moved aside, letting him into my house, letting him into my life just a little bit more than I ever had before.
“What are we planning, Kevin?”
He moved past me and set the beer down next to the snack table. Turning his attention to me, he said, “How best to make Paisley comfortable enough so that something exciting happens.”
There it was. He’d said the quiet part out loud. It wasn’t specific, but it also included me for now. I casually leaned against the wall, steadying my racing heart.
I took a moment to compose myself before replying.
My gaze wandered over his athletic physique.
From the form-fitting tight T-shirt to the casual, low-rise jeans.
Every part of him screamed effortless, though I knew more than a little work went into those toned muscles.
As a powerlifter and dedicated gym rat, game recognized game.
“And what is your definition of exciting?” I folded my arms, awaiting his reply with the practiced nonchalance of someone who was way more nervous than they were letting on.
“You saw the texts. Read the same messages as me. Paisley is hot to go! She’s dying for something to happen.” He cracked open a beer and handed me one. “Aren’t you?”
It was a dare and an invitation. I took it carefully, knowing the next few words out of my mouth would set the tone for the entire evening.
“Sure. I’m just not sure what that something is.” I blushed hard, barely choking out the words as I tried to conceal my burgeoning, confusing feelings for him.
“That’s perfect.” He held my gaze. “The more unpredictable, the better.”
There was another dare there. A flicker behind his eyes that I couldn’t read. Did he want the ‘exciting thing’ to include me? Was I part of it? What was my role? Was he hoping I’d spectate while he seduces Paisley, or be a more active participant?
With all of those questions and a million more rattling around my mind, I sipped my beer and let them marinate. Like a good game of poker, I didn’t want to show my hand early, or possibly at all. I would let Kevin make his play and follow his lead.
“So, you’re wanting to plan the unpredictable?” I raised an eyebrow. He shrugged in response.
“Sometimes the unpredictable takes a little planning. Like tonight. I imagine you’ve got most of the game details sorted? I mean, look at this spread you’ve laid on.”
He said the words without a hint of sarcasm. Without any malice or insult. Only genuine affection for the effort I’d made. I had to admit, the gratitude felt good.
“Thanks. I’ll take care of the gaming; you take care of… everything else?”
“Yep.” He nodded, his dark eyes twinkling with mischief.
I was still so far out of my comfort zone with all of this suggestive talk and subtext. I wanted clear answers where there were none. Just like my feelings for him, everything was a little bit blurry.
“That’s a bit of a weight off. I’m not sure if you know, but it’s been a while since I was with anyone. I’m probably a little out of practice when it comes to, you know, flirting, and reading signals and shit like that.”
I slumped into a chair, the confession having taken more out of me than I cared to admit.
“Yeah, Mindy told me the first night I joined the club. She thought you might be into me.” His lips curled into a wry smile.
I froze. Damn Mindy. She didn’t miss a thing.
I wanted to deny my feelings. To correct him. To protest and say that I’d only ever been with women, and I wanted to keep it that way. I couldn’t. The words wouldn’t come; my body wouldn’t let me deny what I felt or lie to him.
“Oh.” His voice rose with a curious inflection. Not horrified. Not repulsed. Just… curious.
We sat in that awkward silence together while I collected my thoughts. If it weren’t my house, I’d be out the door. I was debating leaving anyway, ready to jump on a flight anywhere and start a new life in a different country, when Kevin spoke again, this time in a much softer tone.
“Have you ever been with another man?” I shook my head. Still blushing profusely. Still unable to meet his gaze. “But you’re curious, aren’t you?”
I nodded. Kevin took the chair next to me and put his hand on mine.
My world stood still as the ground beneath me swirled and eddied. Was he into me? I had no idea what to do, how to react, what to say. Everything was blurry, scary, and exciting in the best possible way.
“Aaron, look at me.” His voice was cool and calm, like a softly flowing meadow. I took a deep breath and met his gaze. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to tonight, okay?”
I nodded and managed a weak smile. “But if I do want to?”
His smile widened.
“All I can tell you is to be open to it. Watch for my opening, and follow my lead. Something is going to happen tonight, Aaron. Only the details are fuzzy.” I took a sip, clinked his can against mine, and leaned closer.
“Just promise me you’ll stay out of your head tonight, and lead with your heart.
Or….” He pursed his lips and nodded toward my crotch. I blushed harder.
“I’ll try….” I whispered under my breath.
“And that’s all I’m asking you to do.” He raised my hand to his lips and kissed it gently. It was such a sweet gesture; it disarmed me, but also confirmed just how many sparks were flying between us.
With my heart pounding, my palms sweaty, and a familiar weight already building between my thighs, I’d never been so uncomfortable in my own home, but in the best way possible.
Whatever happened tonight, one thing was certain: Kevin’s presence meant it would be memorable. Whether it was just him and me, me watching him with Paisley, or the three of us getting up to things I could scarcely comprehend.
I made a conscious decision to put my worries away, just for tonight, and see what fate delivered.