Chapter 40
FORTY
KNOX
Sweat drips from my brow as I push myself to do the last rep before lowering the weights to the rack on either side of my head.
“Impressive,” McCormick nods, handing me a towel.
“You might want to take some of the weights off. We wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself,” I grin. Wiping my face, I trade places with him as I spot the next set.
“That’s cute,” he laughs, lying down on his back and lifting the weights above his head, “but we both know I’m going to match you.”
I watch him do the same amount of reps and keep pace with my weights. A smirk plays on his lips when he reaches my number and grunts one extra before I help him secure the bar back on the rack. Grabbing the towel he’s been using, I throw it at his head.
“I hope you feel that extra one in the morning.”
Chuckling, he sits up and grabs his water bottle, running the towel through his dark hair.
I sit across from him and chug some water before confiding in him.
“I’m proposing to Savi this weekend.”
He eyes me over the water bottle he was drinking before lowering it slowly.
“That was fast,” he says, surprised.
“No point in waiting when I know what I want.”
“No, I guess not,” he chuckles softly. His grey eyes flash with sadness before he quickly recovers. “I’m happy for you, man. I really am,” he says, smiling briefly. “Does her family know?”
“I’ve already asked her parents for their blessing on the night of the gala. Her brothers know my intention,” I say, lifting my water bottle and taking another deep drink.
“I can’t imagine that was easy,” he chuckles. “You’ve what? Known Miles since you were kids?”
“Thirteen. The motherfucker hit me,” I mutter, rubbing a hand over my jaw at the memory.
“You were fucking his sister,” he laughs. “And you’re his best friend. I would have done the same damn thing.”
“That’s why I let him have that one hit,” I grin before turning serious. He’s the only person I know who grew up in a similar environment and would understand some of what I’m feeling.
“What if I fuck this up?” I ask quietly. “Not just marriage, but what comes with it. I know she wants kids. We’ve talked about starting a family after we get married, but what if…” I break off the sentence and sigh frustratedly.
“What if you what?”
“He’s my fucking dad,” I say quietly. “His DNA runs through me. What if I can’t love our kids as much as I love my wife?
What if…” I swallow the lump in my throat that suddenly wants to suffocate me.
“What if something goes wrong with a pregnancy and something happens to her? I can’t live without her, McCormick,” I say, shaking my head. “I wouldn’t even want to fucking try.”
Sighing, he leans forward with his elbows on his knees as he bows his head and aggressively runs his fingers through his hair before clasping them together at the nape of his neck.
“Fuck,” he whispers, still looking down at the ground.
“Sorry, man. I didn’t mean to stir up old shit.” I know better than anyone how one single trigger can throw you right back into hell in the blink of an eye.
“No, it’s okay,” he says quietly, lifting his head. “Just takes me by surprise sometimes.”
McCormick and I both have skimmed the surface of our pasts in conversations, mainly about the charity we want to start, but neither of us goes into details, not wanting to dredge up the past. I can only assume from the pain on his face right now that he’s been through it…is still going through it.
“Trust me when I tell you that you will have no problem loving any child you will have. It changes something inside you.”
I blink in surprise at his choice of words. “Sounds like you are speaking from experience.”
“I’m not,” he says, flatly. “The last thing I am is a father.” His eyes are blank as he stares at me, hiding any trace of emotion that may want to arise.
Nodding slightly, I let it go. If he wanted to talk about it, he would.
His shoulders relax a bit when I don’t press him.
“You can’t live in fear of your dad’s choices.
You are not him, Knox. Savi sees that, and so do I.
I’ve looked evil in the face, and you are not it. ”
“It’s hard not to feel like I am on some days,” I sigh.
“That’s because you spent most of your life with dark thoughts in your head, but they’re not yours to hold anymore.
You’ve got Savi now to wash them away. Which,” he says, looking me straight in the eye, “brings me to your next ‘what if’ of losing her. Living in the future will fuck you up. It’s unpredictable for everyone, the good and the bad.
You have her now, Knox. Love the fuck out of her every single goddamn day like it’s your last. Girls like Savi don’t come along often, but when they do, you need to fight like hell to hold on to them.
Standing up, he pats my shoulder before walking away.
He’s right.
I’m living in the future too much and need to focus on what I have now. Pulling out my phone, I pull up Savi’s number and shoot off a text.
Knox
Don’t make plans on Sunday. I have somewhere I want to take you.
I see the three dots appear and smile that I caught her between appointments.
Savi
Do I get any hints?
Knox
No
I wait for her next text, knowing damn well she’s not done trying.
Savi
Pretty please? How will I know what to wear?
I knew her beautiful little head would try to get more information out of me.
Grinning, I text back.
Knox
Wear clothes.
Savi
Well, that doesn’t sound like fun.
Chuckling, my thumbs fly over the keys.
Knox
I didn’t say you would be wearing them for long.
Savi
That’s better ;)
Savi
I’ll put you down on my calendar, Mr. Stone.
Knox
You do that, Miss Montgomery. I’d better get back to my workout. I’ve got press this afternoon, so I’m on a tight schedule today.
Savi
Good luck tonight. I’ll be watching, wearing nothing but your jersey, to cheer you on.
Images of her in my jersey flash through my mind, causing me to stir in my gym shorts.
Knox
You’re evil. A boner in the gym would not be a good look on me.
Savi
Save that boner for when you get back home late Saturday night.
Knox
It’s all yours, sunshine.
I grin as I type the next text.
Knox
My flight gets in at ten, so I expect my jersey to be on that sexy body of yours. Be ready and waiting, preferably on all fours with your ass in the air and that gorgeous pussy spread and bare.
Savi
Now who’s evil? I have a patient in ten minutes, and now I’m horny.
Knox
I’m horny now at the gym, so we are even.
Savi
I guess we can be miserably horny together then.
Savi
I love you. Be careful tonight.
Knox
Always.
Knox
I love you too, sunshine. I’ll call you tonight after the game.
I put my headphones on and walk over to the treadmill to get my morning run in. Getting my head back into my game day zone, I push all other thoughts away as I set a steady pace, focusing on getting a win today.
“I know the last two periods have been fucking brutal. You’re tired, some of you are playing injured, but the reality is, I don’t fucking care. Hockey doesn’t fucking care,” I shout at my teammates as I walk in front of them.
“We will not be coming home with two losses under our belt to this fucking team. They want us tired. They want us fucking angry to mess with our heads, so we lose focus. They provoke us, so we’ll break and sit our asses in the penalty box while they try to score another goal with a man advantage.
But we will not let them anymore, will we? ”
I feel the energy in the room turn up a notch as my words fire them up as I intended.
“Fuck no,” I hear growled out around the room.
“We are better than what we’ve been playing tonight. Use the skills we’ve been practicing every goddamn day for the past few months. Let’s fucking win this game so we can get the hell out of this shit ass town.”
The guys are amped in agreement as they gather their gear and put their helmets on. Placing mine on my head, I grab my stick and stand by the door, giving each guy a tap with my helmet as they walk by.
“Let’s fucking gooooo!” Hayes yells, walking down the corridor toward the rink.
Walking behind them, I follow them out as our blades hit the ice.
I ignore the boos in the crowd as I pass by the unruly crowd. It’s no secret that their fans hate us. The Bolts knocked them out of the playoffs last year, and they want revenge. We may have given them a win the other night, but I’m going to make fucking sure they don’t get two in a row.
I center up against Wilson and hold his stare.
“It’s going to feel really good putting your ass on a plane tonight after we kick it twice,” he smiles smugly.
“Sorry to disappoint, but I’m not letting you have this win tonight,” I grin, pissing him off even more.
“You fucking wish,” he scoffs. “No way in hell are we letting you net three in this period.”
“We’re not,” I say, getting in the low position for the face off. “We’re going to net four.” The puck drops, and I don’t wait for his reaction as I take control of the black disc, shooting it over to Hayes, who stick handles it down the ice.
He’s thrown into the boards as the guy who's been hounding his ass all night tries to steal the puck. Hayes keeps control and breaks out of his grasp, but he’s held back by a stick.
The ref blows the whistle, stopping the game for a holding call.
At least their fucking eyesight is better this period.
“If you wanted a fucking hug, all you had to do was ask,” Hayes goads the player circling him now. “Have fun in the penalty box. I’ll just be out here scoring a goal on the power play you just gave me.”
“Fuck off,” he growls, getting in Hayes’s face.
Knowing a fight is brewing, I skate over to them and step in.
“This asshole isn’t worth it,” I say, putting my hand on Hayes’s jersey and guiding him backwards. “We need this power play, so skate the fuck away.”
“Aww, your guard dog doesn’t want you to get hurt.” The guy behind me snickers.
Hayes glares over my shoulder, and I fist his jersey as he takes a step forward.