Chapter 10 #3
“Lisabel—Mariah’s mother—her body was still just lying on the ground by the platform.
I have no affection for the queen; trust me on that.
But seeing her mother there, so empty, so broken, so lifeless…
” She swallowed. “I’m not sure why, but I think it reminded me of my own mother.
Of seeing her lying in her birthing bed, blood spread all around her. I couldn’t just leave her like that.
“So, I removed my cloak and draped it around her. Even though I didn’t know her, I whispered the final rite, hoping it would be enough to send her soul home to the stars.
Then, I cried. I cried not just for her, but for my own mother, all the grief and heartache I had never been allowed to feel.
Because a lady does not cry; a lady does not mourn.
A lady is perfect, always, no matter the pain that finds her. ”
Kol had fallen utterly still. If not for the steady rise and fall of his chest, Anniliese would have thought him nothing more than a statue.
“As I cried, I felt…something. Like a match striking flint. A heat filled me, and when I opened my eyes, there it was. Flame. My flame.” The corners of her lips tilted up at the memory.
At the heady rush of power, the initial swell of fear, then the overwhelming awe that this beautiful, wild creation was hers.
“I told the flame to take Lisabel. To burn her body away, to build her a funeral pyre fit for a Royal. They obeyed, and it was beautiful.” Her smile faded. “That was how Ksee found me. Kneeling before Lisabel Salis’s funeral pyre, my golden flames licking the night sky.”
Kol uncrossed his legs, leaning forward with clasped hands.
Anniliese expected anger, disgust—anything. But what she saw had her blinking with shock.
In his ageless expression was compassion.
She didn’t know what to make of it.
“You are incredibly brave, Anniliese Hareth. To risk everything you’ve ever known to give a stranger the honor of a funeral.” He sighed, a heavy sound that sounded far too human to come from a god. “I wish I had a soul as pure as yours.”
Anniliese didn’t know what to say, so she said nothing at all.
Kol leaned back. Something in his expression was contemplative—tired, even. He faced the flames, the reflections flickering in his eyes.
“I have always felt a certain kinship with fire,” he began, his voice low. “After all, I am the physical embodiment of the sun. What is the sun if not light and fire and warmth?
“But after I was betrayed by Zadione, when they captured and banished me to Enfara, any connection I might’ve had to the flames was lost. Qhohena, as the bringer of life, manifested her earthly gifts as control and manipulation of fire.
But I am a god of will and compulsion and control.
I forced the creation of my own powers and gifts.
Shadows are cast by the sun, and while I loved the flames, the darkness always sang for me.
” Some of those shadows drifted from his shoulders as if to emphasize his words, twisting and dancing in the crackling firelight.
“This world has been fed so many lies by those goddesses,” he murmured.
Anniliese swore she could hear true pain and regret in his voice, something that had spent thousands of years building and festering.
“I never meant to be so cruel. But sometimes the hope of a better world justifies any means necessary to accomplish it.”
“What does your better world look like?” The question slipped past Anniliese’s lips without a thought. It was only when it had rung into the air between them that she went still with fear.
Stupid. She was a lady. A lady did not ask questions out of turn.
But she wasn’t truly much of a lady; not anymore.
Kol swung his burning gaze back to her. “I only want to eradicate the greatest lie the moon goddesses have fed humanity. Have fed the other gods, in truth. I remain the only one who is willing to see reason.”
Anniliese cocked her head slightly, fidgeting again with her robes. “What was the lie?”
Kol’s eyes flickered. “Free will, Lady Anniliese.
The idea that people are better off with the ability to think and decide what is best for themselves on their own.
The other gods forget that I was made to be a damper on the will of mortals.
Free will has caused more pain, more strife, more heartbreak and war and loss than any action I could ever take.
“Free will is the death of happiness. Free will is what broke Zadione’s heart, and why she chose to betray me. Free will is why the gods rejected my truth and my divine purpose of leading the world to something better.” He sighed again, running a hand through his night-black hair.
“Free will is the reason the moons must fall. It is why when Andrian Laurent inevitably tries to escape, I will let him. And it is why, Lady Anniliese, that when the time is right, when my son has unwittingly delivered her to the palm of my hand and she has returned what she stole from me, Mariah Salis must die.”