Chapter 13 #2
“I was young and brash and arrogant. Our house had weakened since the days we’d last had a daughter Chosen to sit on the golden throne.
All the distant branches had faded away, leaving only myself to carry on our name.
If I didn’t make a change, and soon, the name Laurent would disappear from history, and our castle would crumble into dust.” He snorted.
“At least, that’s what Kol whispered to me. That’s what I came to believe.”
Julian shifted, the metal of the cot squealing. “At that point, I would have done anything. Listened to any command I was given, if it meant keeping that worst fear from becoming a reality.” He grunted. “I suppose, on that front, all plans were a success. I got what I bargained for.”
“That still doesn’t explain why you agreed to do any of it,” Andrian growled. “You could have accomplished all of that without it.”
“When a god comes to you and tells you it is the only way to accomplish your ambitions, you obey.” Julian clenched a hand into a fist on his thigh.
“Kol said he wouldn’t just ensure our house thrived, he guaranteed that we would be exalted above all others.
Treated as kings, even in a land where a queen wears the crown.
“Once I heard that, I was his. That was all I wanted—for our house to have the respect I always knew it deserved.”
“So, it really was always about your pride?”
“Of course, it was about my pride, boy,” Julian snarled. “Pride is all we have in this world. It’s the only thing that can’t be taken from us.”
“Then why—”
“I clung to my pride even when that god commanded me to ignore Ryenne’s closed border rule and marry a foreign girl from a prominent Leuxrithian family,” Julian continued, hardly noticing that he’d interrupted Andrian.
The Laurent lord was fuming now, as if the reminders of his past were biting at his heels.
“When I was told to allow my new foreign wife to become pregnant in a mysterious way, by a father I wasn’t permitted to know, that pride was still all I had.
I was instructed to raise my wife’s child as if it were my own and treat it as my heir.
And I was willing to do it because of that pride.
Because if I could just do this, then I would one day have everything.
“But then that baby—you—was born. You came quietly into this world, just as you were in all things. You had none of the fire of our house; none of the fire of a true Onitan. And when I saw your black hair and those purple-blue eyes, I couldn’t stop the resentment from taking root.
Sure, my house would have its glory, but it wouldn’t be my blood carrying its legacy.
That hurt my pride more than any threats from a god ever could. ”
“So why do it?” Andrian shifted on his stool. He wasn’t surprised by these confessions; even as a boy, he’d known his father felt no love for him. He’d tried desperately to earn some sort of approval, anything to acknowledge that he was something other than a failure to his family’s name.
Deep down, though, he’d always known the truth. His shadows had always whispered it to him, even before they’d manifested that night in the palace barracks.
Julian scoffed. “By that point, I had little choice. I either followed through with the god’s commands and hoped that my foreign wife would be able to bear me a son of my own, or I forsake every dream I had for my family. Thank the gods Gabriel eventually came along.
“But it didn’t change the fact that every time I looked at you, I was reminded of that pathetic deal I’d struck. No matter what, no matter how far I took our house, I would always be indebted to a strange god long forgotten and disgraced by Onita.”
All that hate you carry is because of him. You’ve always known it. He’s the reason you will always be unworthy of goodness in your life.
Andrian’s lip curled as the words rolled through his mind. “Well, I suppose I should apologize for being summoned away from you so young. Before you had a chance to rid this stain on your house yourself.”
Julian gave a harsh chuckle. “Ah, yes. Your little Mark.” He hacked a cough, his weakened body shaking with the effort.
“I was furious at first, of course. I’m sure you remember.
I’d been told to raise this boy that wasn’t mine as my heir, and now all that effort was to be wasted?
Not only had one god meddled with my family, but another felt the need to involve himself, too.
I’d never worshiped Priam, but I always wondered if he’d summoned you to serve some new little bitch of a queen out of spite for my choices.
It was a disgrace to all that I’d sacrificed.
“But later, I came to appreciate it as the blessing it was. I no longer had to see you every day, no longer had to be reminded of the damage I’d wrought and how weak I was. It was peaceful, for a time.
“Until I got word from my contacts in Verith. One of the young Marked had manifested a magical gift. That was already rare enough; the Marked didn’t usually have magic.
So, imagine my surprise when I learned that this gifted boy was the same one I’d raised as a son, and instead of bearing the fire magic of our house and country, he wielded shadows and terrorized his entire barracks. ”
Fury pulsed in Andrian’s vision. “That was not what happened.”
Julien scoffed. “Wasn’t it? That kind of magic hasn’t been seen in Onita—in the continent—in centuries. It’s unnatural and cursed. Anyone forced to confront it would and should be terrified.
“That was when I knew the full extent of what I’d done. Kol wasn’t just a foreign god; he was a foreign monster. And I’d help install one of his vile spawn right there in the capital, in a place of power.”
“I am no agent of Kol’s,” Andrian whispered, rage keeping his voice deadly soft. “For you to even believe that for a moment is laughable.”
“Perhaps not willingly,” Julian muttered.
A muscle in Andrian’s jaw fluttered. “If I was the threat to Onita all along,” he said, “why threaten Mariah? What did she have to do with any of this?”
“Ah, yes.” Julian chuckled. “A queen’s bond is powerful.
And it is not a one-way bridge. That common-born girl, up against the pawn of the fallen god?
” He scoffed. “I suspected she would be consumed by that darkness and Onita would fall forever. So, I gave you an ultimatum that was based in truth. Bond with her, and you’d sign her death warrant—and it would be by your own hand. ”
“But that’s not what happened,” Andrian growled. “Mariah is stronger than any of you were prepared for. She bonded with me and burned Kol out. He has no control over me anymore.”
Even as he said the words, he felt the lingering lie, the uncertainty that freed itself and swam uninhibited through his gut. Yes, she’d burned Kol out of him when she forged her bond.
But Kol had still entered his mind, toying with his thoughts and memories. Had still gripped on to his shadows and used them to torture him from the inside out.
Was that just the god’s power, or was there still some connection between them, lingering and lurking somewhere even Mariah couldn’t reach?
Julian, as if reading the doubts that leached into Andrian’s thoughts, grinned. “Perhaps that silly little queen of yours did just enough to save you. But don’t fool yourself; you’ll never be free of your sire.”
“That’s a lie.”
But the truth slid down his spine, caressing his shadows like a snake.
You were raised by monsters, Andrian. Lesser or greater—you get to choose.
Julian shrugged. “I suppose we’ll have to just wait and see. I, however, had no interest in standing idly by as my kingdom—my home—fell into the palms of a monster. I rebelled in the only ways I could.”
Andrian’s blood ran cold at the nonchalance in Julian’s words.
“Killing your mother was my first act,” Julian continued, speaking so dryly it was as if he was discussing the weather.
“When you were Selected, I knew what it meant. Before bringing my threats to you, I tried to take a less direct path. Shawth was simple enough to manipulate into trying to kill Mariah, so much so that he truly believed he was doing Kol’s bidding.
My experiences with the dark god had exposed me to a fair bit of ritual work; the Uroboros demon was easy to summon from the Enfaran pits.
From there, Shawth’s thirst for power took over and did the rest.”
“You are a monster.” Andrian leaped to his feet, rushing the bars of Julian’s cell.
Shadows poured from his shoulders, twisting and writhing down his arms. His body shook with a barely contained rage.
He carried no weapons, but his control slipped, and his shadows became solid, winding between the iron.
He deserves it. He killed your mother. He tried to murder your queen. Your love. Your personal moonlight. Make him suffer the way you have all these years.
The words were whispered poison in Andrian’s mind. His knuckles were white where he gripped the bars, his vision blurring around the edges.
Julian glanced up and chuckled. Not a trace of fear crossed his face.
“Do it,” he murmured. “Prove to me that you are every bit the monster I always knew you’d become. That your mother deserved her fate for her part in bringing you into this world.”
That cooled the rage simmering in Andrian’s blood, just a touch. His shadows crept back, still winding around his arms but no longer reaching out with malice.
“What interesting confessions tonight, Lord Laurent. It has been fascinating to finally hear your side of things.”
Andrian released the bars of the cell, whirling to face the source of the new, lilting voice.
Kol melted from the shadows as if he’d been in them all this time. He straightened the lapels of his jacket, red eyes glinting in the allume glow. Julian rushed to his feet, and for the first time that night Andrian saw genuine fear written across his face.
The god placed a hand on Andrian’s shoulder. He clenched his jaw to keep himself from recoiling.
“You’ll have your chance for revenge, Andrian. Of that, I have no doubt.” Those red-gold eyes flashed, dread seeping through the cold dungeon halls. Kol smiled, a dark and menacing thing.
“For now, I believe it’s time for Julian to face judgment for his crimes.”