Chapter 22 #3
“I know,” I finally admitted, but no less frustrated.
“Good.” He smirked. “Now that you understand, are you going to tell the truth and confess that you are ours—have been—and always will be? Or are you afraid of what could be between the three of us? Afraid of me and what I do?”
“Are you kidding me?” Irritation rattled near the brink of my common sense, and I got into his face.
“Understand this, Decker Moss. You might be right that I should be more cautious, but remember my words. I’m not afraid of you.
I’m no damn princess and I’m not your girl. And you won’t touch me again.”
He leaned in even closer. “You can lie all you want to yourself, but I see how much you want me. And you are my girl—and Krew’s girl. Our girl. Just like we are yours. And the sooner you get that through your head, the better.”
I shoved him back as hard as I could, desperate for the distance. “I’d rather kiss a toad than your ugly face,” I growled out the outrageous lie.
Decker flashed a wicked smile, a single dimple teasing from his left cheek. I wanted to hate him—really, I did—but that flicker of boyish charm sent my heart fluttering like a schoolgirl’s and I didn’t stand a chance.
He leaned in closer, and I assumed he was going to kiss me. Instead, he bypassed my mouth, and his lips grazed my ear. “I thought you liked my ugly mug.” His undertone was rough like heavy grit sand paper and the flutter in my heart shifted into a full-blown gallop.
When I turned my head and met his eyes, I was consumed by the carnal fire in them and my knees went weak. I knew that look. Decker regarded Krew with the same hungry intensity. Now, he was aiming that desire at me with equal fervor.
“I’m not sure if I’m ready to be intimate with you,” I confessed. My body yearned for him, yet my mind and heart refused to believe Krew and Decker belonged to me—to cherish, to love, to keep.
“I heard you and Krew last night,” he said with raw conviction. My breath hitched, and my heart dropped at his confession.
His question staunched the growing hunger in my belly. “We didn’t…”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not lying. Krew and I didn’t have intercourse.”
“I heard you two,” he hissed.
“He got me off with his mouth and… fingers.” I closed my eyes, feeling utterly disgusted with myself.
“Look at me.” I couldn’t ignore him. I opened my eyes and barely glanced at him before I dropped my attention to his chin. “You did you let us touch you in Chicago?”
Why had I let Decker and Krew touch me? Loneliness? Out of desperation? Maybe both. Or maybe, they were a convenience—a need to satiate my sudden impulse to be touched. No. That wasn’t it.
As the thrum between my legs eased and the fear that shadowed me lessened, the reason why was clear. I was afraid to be alone and I missed them so much. However, I certainly couldn’t tell him the truth.
“Curiosity,” I finally said. Though true, and a safe answer, it was still a partial lie. The least amount of resistance on the path to the actual fact.
But that was my issue. What my heart wanted versus what was safe.
“Bullshit. You’re lying, again,” Decker called me out.
This push and pull between us was draining, and I had no more mental energy to fight with Decker—no matter how much I wanted to force him away from me. I wanted him—just as much as I had needed Krew last night.
“Fine. Tell me what you want me to say so I can go in and make breakfast.” I finally looked at Decker in the eyes and saw the hurt I placed there.
Why couldn’t I just say it? I needed Decker. Needed the way his presence anchored me. Even though he had been nothing but a loose buoy in the middle of my storm.
Right now, everything in me was unraveling. The emotions, the mess of my life—they were swallowing me whole. No safe place to land. Just open water and the weight dragging me down, straight into the darkest corners of my mind. The ones I never let anyone see. The ones where my nightmares lived.
Decker’s left hand gripped my hip, grounding me as I spiraled in doubt. A shudder ran through me at his touch. His blue eyes, steady and intense pulled me back to the present.
Without asking, he lifted me up and tossed me over his shoulder, striding back toward the front of the house.
“Decker, put me down,” I shouted, and slapped at his ass.
“You were forewarned, princess.” Then he slapped my ass hard.
“That hurt,” I screeched, as he carried me through the front door and into the living room, where Krew was sitting on the sofa. “Krew!”
“He isn’t going to help you.” Then Decker slapped the same ass cheek again.
“You’re an asshole.”
“You love me.” He smacked my ass again. “Now you know how it feels to be lied to.”
The sharp bite of pain across my butt lasted only seconds, then a burn seeped into my skin, and re-ignited the ache between my legs.
“Damn it, Deck?—”
He took the steps two at a time until we reached the second floor, but he didn’t stop. Decker hauled ass into the room I was sleeping in and tossed me on the bed.
I quickly scrambled backwards until my back hit the headboard. “Don’t come near me.”
“You think that’s going to stop me from bending you over my knee—better yet, I’ll shove something inside your mouth to teach you a lesson to not lie to me, or to Krew.”
Yes, fucking please was what I wanted to say, but I remained silent, my lips pressed tightly together, as I glared at Decker with indignation. What was I thinking? I wasn’t a masochist… I didn’t like being hit—much less be roughed around.
“Okay. If silence is your answer, and this is what you want.” Before I got a chance to deny his words, Decker dived at me and wrangled me up into his arms. I tried to fight him, using all of my strength, but I failed miserably.
When I saw a chance to escape, I went limp in his arms instead. Tired of fighting him, my desires, and stopped denying the love I had for this man. I wanted Decker with every molecule in my body.
Decker turned me until my ass was up and I was bent over his legs, with my hands rooted to the floor. “I don’t think…”
“Hmm. I need to see you,” Decker crooned as he slid the dress over my bare ass inch by slow inch, like he was savoring the moment. And so was I as the fabric grazed along my sensitive skin.
“You know what?” He squeezed one of my butt cheeks. “I think you want me to spank you, mark your skin pink. Mark you as mine and Krew’s.
I wanted to deny everything he said. But his light touches along the crease of my ass sent tremors throughout my body.
Then his words gave me clarity. No more denying myself of the pleasures these men could give me.
And no more denying the fact that I was very much still in love with both Krew and Decker.
With that, I had to tell them the truth about the past. At least to Decker.
He deserved to know what had happened to me.
I couldn’t chicken out—not this time.
“Decker…”
He slid a finger along the crack of my butt and I tingled with desire. Wetness pooled at between my legs, I groaned and squirmed to get more friction.
Nevertheless, I tried telling him about Teke, but Decker placed a finger across my lips. “Shhh,” he whispered and grazed his hand along my sore ass cheek he had slapped earlier.
Jesus, was he serious? He wasn’t going spank me. Was he?
I was wrong. Decker was playing with me this whole time.
Now Decker had me where he wanted, he landed a solid, hard blow across the fleshy part of my right ass cheek. I cried out in pain as my core clenched in anticipation.
For a long three beats, I waited for the panic to strike—waited for it to sink its teeth into me. Surprisingly, it didn’t. I even expect the air supply to my lungs be cut off. Or the fear to claw its way up my throat, which had me running for my life in the past.
No. This new sensation raced across my skin, finding every nerve ending in my body, and I was drenched at the apex of my sex. My clit thrummed even more than before, aching to be stroked, pinched, and sucked on.
Decker chuckled, running a hand over the area he had slapped, and another ripple of electricity skated across my skin. “That’s it, Regi. Now you know that this is what you need, and it will keep you focused on me.”
I shook my head, denying the truth. How crazy was it to want Decker to spank me, then fuck me out of my mind until there was only him and me in my head.
And yet, I kept my teeth clenched and my body coiled tight, trying to breathe through the riot of emotions he was evoking in me.
“Not ready to admit your feelings yet?” Decker moved his hand to my other cheek, slapped it equally hard a few times, and then stroked the skin, sending another rivulet of pleasure up my spine.
I groaned, swimming in a pool of trepidation and yearning so profound that it scared me, and wished Krew was here holding us. Holding me.
To be so intimate with not only one man but two…
“Say it, Regi. Admit that you want me, just as much as you want Krew.” He demanded a confession.
If I did confess, would I lose what little I had left of my heart when we parted ways?
Another sting of pain pulled me out of my downward thoughts. My resistance lasted about a nano-second before my defiance crumbled to dust and a ravening hunger took over.
“Yes, Decker,” I finally admitted in a whisper. “I want both you and Krew.”
My ass stung, but Decker carefully turned me around in his arms like I was a fragile piece of glass and sat me across his thighs.
I was about to protest until I saw the wealth of emotion in his blue depths, which made my breath catch in my throat.
“Then tell me you trust me with your heart and your body,” Decker insisted, a hint of vulnerability in his voice.
Could I trust him? Did I trust him? I reached deep into my memories for that boy I once knew—the boy I fell in love with, and the answer was there, tangled in with the thorny vines of my trauma. I pulled, ripped, and tore through every dark corner to retrieve those pieces that were precious to me.
The hours we had spent at the Honey Pot, filled with laughter and joy. The times we had hung out after school, and the confessions of our feeling for one another. I hugged those memories tight to my chest and stared into Decker’s eyes.
“I trust you and Krew, but I’m afraid, Deck,” I confessed, my eyes filled with unshed tears. “I’m so afraid.”
“I have you.” How ironic, that he said the same thing Krew professed to me last night. Once I divulge the truth, would they say the same?
I wrapped my arms around his torso and kissed Decker like I was giving my last breath to this man.
The kiss wasn’t gentle or sensual by any means.
It was rough—all teeth, lips, and tongue.
There was no comparison between the sweet, innocent first kiss we had shared on my sixteenth birthday and this kiss—how his mouth and hands were strumming my body to life.
I was engulfed by the scorching desire that flowed from him into my veins and I relished the heat his body gave off.
The tight hold he had on me was comforting, until he pulled back and stared intently into my eyes.
“I need to be inside you, Regi. Tell me yes.” Decker dipped down and nipped at my neck, my collarbone, hard.
I knew there was going to be a bruise. It made me heady thinking he had marked me.
I waited a beat, expecting the familiar panic to rise again.
Except there was none. No fear surging forth.
No need to run. Only the hunger that filled me to the brim.
Decker kissed me once more—sweetly this time as though he was giving me time to mull over what he had asked. And I wanted to agree—so badly, but something was preventing the yes from leaving my mouth. Should I tell him that I wanted both men? That having both Krew and Decker here made me complete?
“What is it?” he asked in a whisper.
Just say it, Regina.
“I need Krew too.” I couldn’t look into his eyes, for fear I’d see disapproval. The guilt I had felt over the years for wanting to be with both of these men—for that level of depravity, I was sure I’d be consigned to the pits of hell.
“Christ,” Decker hissed, and my eyes darted to his. But it wasn’t censure I read on his face. It was happiness. “Krew!” Decker’s bellow echoed off the walls of the bedroom.