27. Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Andre
Our vacation ends too quickly. At the beginning, it seemed like we had forever, but then it was over. Now we’re heading back home with the kids because Maddox asked if he could stay with us tonight, even though normally it’s Amelia’s night.
It’s New Year’s, and it’s the first New Year’s I’ve spent with my daughter. The first New Year’s I’ve had without Victoria.
That’s been true for all the holidays, of course, and though I thought about it, for some reason tonight is hitting me the hardest. Maybe because we’re also coming up to the anniversary of her passing. I don’t really know how to explain it or what the reasoning is, it’s just how I feel.
Maybe it’s also because of everything that happened with Paul over the last couple of days.
How quickly we’ve grown close. How I told him that I love him, and he didn’t say anything back.
I’m not worried about it; it doesn’t change my feelings, and he’ll say it when he needs or wants to.
Nothing about his actions have told me that what I did was wrong or bad.
The kids swear they’re going to stay up all night and watch the ball drop on TV. Paul and I have bets on who will fall asleep first. I think it’ll be Maddox, but his vote is on Rylee.
Before picking up the kids, Paul and I brought all our stuff to the house, started laundry, and emptied our suitcases. We made some snacks for the kids and threw dinner together in the crockpot, because after everything else, the last thing I wanted to do was cook a whole meal.
I pull into the driveway, and we all get out of the car and head up the front steps to the house.
We already told the kids that it’s fine if they stay up, but they need to bathe and put on pajamas in case they don’t stay awake to do it later.
They both argued that they would be awake, but at least agreed to wash up and change.
Maddox is quick in the shower, so he hops in first. When he’s done, he runs the tub for Rylee, because he’s good like that. He’s a good kid, even if he gets himself into trouble at times for being a bit rambunctious.
I’m getting Rylee’s things together for her bath when Paul comes into her room.
“Hey, Maddox left Straw Berry at Amelia’s, so I’m going to run over and grab her.”
Rylee and Maddox share custody of all the animals now. It’s actually really cute, and though at first I was a little worried, I realized it was a healthy way for them to understand how Maddox lives with his parents.
“No problem,” I say.
“You cool with him staying here? He’s already in his pajamas and—”
“Paul, you don’t even have to ask. This is his home, too. Just like it’s yours. Go, so you can hurry back.”
He smiles, looking over his shoulder before coming into the room and kissing me on the lips. He jerks back after we hear what sounds like footsteps, but when we look into the hallway, no one is there.
“I’ll be back soon.”
He leaves the room, and I grab the rest of the stuff for Rylee’s bath. As I head into the bathroom, I call her name so she knows it’s time. I shut off the water. She hurries into the room, gets undressed and into the tub.
“We have to be fast tonight, Daddy.”
“Sure thing, pumpkin.”
I help her wash her hair, but she washes the rest of herself without prompting or reminding.
She’s getting too big too fast. It’s crazy how quickly these kids grow.
I wish Vicki could be here to see it, and though it’s not easy sometimes, I’m glad that I am.
I don’t regret working with the Cougars, but I missed out on a lot of things, especially those first few years.
When she’s done with the bath, she dries off and gets dressed. I dry her hair a little more and braid it so it won’t be a wild mess tomorrow.
We head downstairs and I walk her into the living room where Maddox is sitting on the couch, watching TV. He gives me a strange look, which I don’t think much of, before letting them know I’m going to check on dinner, which should be done soon.
I threw a bunch of stuff in here to make a stew, and it smells good.
I take the top off and give it a mix, then taste it to make sure it doesn’t need anything else.
I stab the potatoes and carrots, which seem cooked, and the meat is tender and falling apart, so I turn the crockpot to the warm setting, and put the lid back on.
We can eat when Paul gets back with Straw Berry.
“Andre?”
I look over my shoulder to see Maddox standing by the island, looking at me carefully. There’s something about the way he’s looking at me that has me slightly worried.
“What’s up, Maddox?” I ask. “Everything okay?”
He looks at me, almost unsure if he should answer me or not. I’m worried he’s going to tell me something bad. When you’re a parent, you always think the worst.
“You can tell me whatever’s going on, bud,” I say to reassure him.
He blinks a few times, then finally opens his mouth. And what he says… it knocks me back.
“Are you my dad’s boyfriend?”
I am speechless. I have no idea what the hell I am supposed to say to that.
For some reason, my gaze goes to the door, willing Paul to open it and step in to have this conversation so I don’t have to.
We told my parents and Amelia and Sean. We knew we would have to tell the kids at some point, though we haven’t really discussed when or how to do that, but damn, I wasn’t prepared to do it now of all times.
And I don’t know if I should. Is this something that Paul wanted to do?
Him and Amelia together? How would I feel if this were Rylee asking him the same thing?
I think I’d be relieved that someone else did it instead of me.
“Before I answer that, can I ask why you’re asking?” I say carefully, not wanting him to think I’m mad or that we can’t talk about it, but I want to know how much to say.
“I saw him kiss you in Rylee’s room.”
Ah… so there was someone there.
Nodding, I move over to him and crouch down so we’re eye to eye.
“If I was your dad’s boyfriend, would that be okay with you?”
“Yeah, I guess. I know boys can be boyfriends and girls can be girlfriends.”
“That’s right, they can.” I give him a smile. “You’re a smart kid, Maddox.”
“So, is that a yes?”
“It’s a yes. I’m sorry we didn’t tell you sooner; it’s just kind of a scary thing to tell people.”
“How come? If you like someone, then you shouldn’t be afraid of that, right?”
A soft smile forms on my face, and there’s a warm, tight feeling in my chest.
“I guess you’re right. But sometimes, when you’re an adult, you get scared of silly things.”
“Does Rylee know?”
“Not yet, but we will tell her. Not tonight, I don’t think, but soon.”
“Why don’t you want to tell her now?”
I think about that for a moment, wondering how I am supposed to explain this to a child, when I realize that I just need to tell him how it is. It’s nothing inappropriate, and I am all for being truthful with our kids.
“She’s a little younger than you and might not understand it as easily as you do. And honestly, I’m worried that she might get upset because of her mom…”
“She loves my dad, you know.”
“I know that,” I say quickly. Then add, “How do you know that?”
“Because we talk, obviously. She’s told me that she likes having two dads.”
Tears instantly prick my eyes. “She said that?”
“Yep. She said she thinks it’s cool to be the only princess in the house.”
I huff a laugh, then rustle his hair. “Thanks, Maddox. I definitely needed to hear that.”
“Can I help you tell her? When you decide to, that is? I think me being there will help.”
“I think so too, bud. And of course you can be.”
“Cool. Thanks.” He grins, then leaves and heads back to Rylee like he came over to ask when dinner was going to be ready. I guess telling the kids was easier than we thought it would be.
I win the bet. Maddox is knocked out by ten-thirty, while Rylee makes it to ten minutes before twelve. Victoria always said the little kids always seem to stay up later. I guess she was right.
We carry the kids to bed after the ball drops, and share a quick New Year’s kiss. We tuck them both into their beds, and then meet up back downstairs to clean up the food.
“So, I need to tell you something,” I say as I tear off a piece of cling wrap.
“That doesn’t sound good.”
“Well, it’s not bad.”
He raises a brow, standing by the fridge.
“Maddox saw you kiss me in Rylee’s room.”
His eyes widen. “Shit.”
“Yeah, I wanted to tell you about it sooner, but we’ve been busy and—”
“How do you know he saw us?”
“After you left to get Straw Berry, he asked if I was your boyfriend. I asked why he was asking, and he said he saw us.”
“What did you tell him?”
“Obviously, I told him yes. I’m sorry if you wanted to have the conversation with him, but I didn’t want to lie to the kid. It thought of how I would react if the tables were turned, and I think I’d be relieved if it was the other way around.”
I still can’t tell if he’s going to be upset or not. I can’t imagine him getting angry over something like this, but maybe a little upset. But then he smiles and blows out a breath.
“I am relieved. How did he take it?”
“Totally fine with it. You’ve got a good kid.” Paul’s cheeks turn the slightest shade of pink as he reaches behind his head to scratch his neck.
“Thanks,” he says, and I can’t help but smile.
“And he even said that Rylee mentioned she likes having two dads.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah,” I say with a small laugh as I wrap more food and hand it to Paul, who slides it into the fridge. “I guess they’ve talked about it.”
“So, did you tell her too?”
“No, not yet. But I think we should. There’s no reason to wait.” I give him a careful look. “Right?”
He frowns. “What do you mean?”
I shrug. “I don’t know, we just haven’t really talked about it ourselves. What we’re doing. You know, that stuff.”
Paul walks up to me, putting his hands on my hips and looking me in the eyes.
“There is no need to wait. I’m fine telling the kids. We talked about this already.”
“I know, I just want to make sure you haven’t changed your mind.”
He kisses me softly. “I haven’t changed my mind. Now, let’s hurry up and put this away so we can get to bed.”
We finish putting the food away and clean up the kitchen a little bit more. I’ll do a thorough cleaning tomorrow, when I’m not too tired to do so.
When we crawl into bed, I anticipate sex. When we have time like this, it’s always what we do. But that’s not what happens. Paul curls up close to me, holding on tightly. And that’s how we fall asleep.